Why Did Ex- Fiance Lie To Me, when we broke up?
My fiance broke up with me in June after dating for 4 years. We had just came back from a week in Hawaii when she told me that she was extremely depressed and needed to find herself.
I was beyond Devastated from this. I loved her more than anything and never, I repeat, NEVER saw this coming. My question is, how do I get over her, and why did she lie to me and say we were going to be friends. I haven;t heard from her in over 3 months, she did not even call to wish me a Merry Christmas.
I am so depressed from this.
Please Help
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Tagged with: christmas • fiance • Going To Be Friends • hawaii • merry christmas
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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it sounds like something serious happened in her life that affects you, maybe something she feels guilty about. im not implying that this is in any way similar to your situation, but when my gf did that to me, it was because something was going on behind my back that could hurt me
im pretty sure there is someone else
she lied because she was afraid you could not handle the truth and she knew she could get away with it! you just need to move on and realize she is never going to change and she will keep hurting guys,mean!
Never easy to get over heart break, but talking to some one who understands how you feel can help. Feel free to speak with me, for I have had and have the heart break.
they lie to make it easy on them self and maybe cuz she may have a new boyfriend by now. You really need to try and move forward maybe start dating again as hard as it may be
it just might help you to get over her. Good luck
I wouldn’t worry about why. It seems important, but the fact is it happened. If you dwell on it, it takes longer to get over. The best thing you can do is move on. You’ll think about her off and on for years, but the memories fade and become less painful. In the mean time, live the best life you can. If you let yourself get stuck on this, you can waste a lot of your life. I hope it works out for you.
Well whatever happened it altered her in a big way. Maybe it had to do with you but maybe it didn’t. At this point it doesn’t really matter, she’s gone. I know it hurts, I’ve been there. I know you’re trying to have hope and trying to figure out why but you have to let go of both. It’s a downward spiral with no end in sight if you don’t let go. I’m not sure how the housing situation was whether you two lived together or separate but there are always things lying around reminding you of what was and that’s ok. Take them for what they were…good times there’s no denying them, but remember there’s no going back. In time these wounds will heal but only if you allow them to heal. Letting go is the hardest step but it’s the first step in getting over her.
I’m sorry. I can imagine how painful it must be for you. Unfortunately, you can’t make her talk to you – and few people mean it when they say "let’s stay friends" after they’ve been a couple. But it’s easier to say the friend thing than "I am never going to talk to you again".
You have to put away her pictures and the things she gave you, start doing the things you love again (music, sports, whatever) spend time with friends and re-enter life.
There IS life after a heartbreak, it just takes time and a whole lot of effort on your part. *just be prepared that she might decide to "start talking" once she sees you have moved on*
Hope this helps – good luck!!
If you wating for a woman to make up her mind your in for a long wait.
You dated four-years…it’s a long time and surely by this time you would’ve gotten positive results not negative;However, she needs space so let her have it.
Do not crowd her or push her. I know this can be hard, but your in a position now that your choices are slim. If you chase it, your gonna get bombed.
Continue with your life and go out and have fun and be the person you’re and not worry about what has taken place.
Now as for the no calls at Christmas, well I would of at least called her or sent her a gift by mail to at least show your compassionate, but don’t overlay your integrity.
When my girl left me back in 1977 I was devastated especially after I had just joined the Airforce. She picked a fine time to leave me hanging alone.
It took me several years to realize it was over and then too get it out of my head I tore up all the pictures of us together and refused to write her back after she told me on the phone that she wanted to be friends and that’s it.
My biggest mistake was not allowing a friendship rather than a realtionship and now the regrets are, it was better to have a friend over a relationship.
Maturity comes in stages, but now that’s long gone history in my life. I am married now 24 years and so moving on was the best thing for me and the woman I have now was worth moving for though, I still think of my first love time to time which is just and just only a memory.
I’m so sorry to read that. Its hard for anyone to experience a very long relationship ends. Leaving you clueless and makes you want to ask "what happened?"…
If I tell you what I think, you might get depressed even more…
I can give you an advice on how to ease your depression a little bit. Get a baseball bat or any stick and break every vase, glass, dishes, etc in your apartment/home. Leave the T.V. and Computer cause you’ll need it later. Don’t hesitate and do it now!!!
I’m not kidding, do it!!!
I know this is hard to believe — but — she did you a favor — she wanted out — she got out — of course she did it after you paid for a hawaiian v.k. — that was cold — that was her plan — you haven’t heard from her in three months because she’s moved on — you’re not ready yet — you will be — it will be OK — I promise that you’ll get over her — it just takes some people longer than others — if you’re having trouble with the depression — you may want to consider medication to get you over this hump and a couple counselling sessions — you are a good boyfriend and probably a great fiance’ — may she regret this move for the rest of her life and end up old – alone- with four cats- no friends- and crippling arthritis for what she did to you — remember — your happiness is the best revenge — I promise that you’ll find someone that appreciates you — it’ll happen when you least expect it
I’m so sorry that she left you with a false sense of hope. I would have been much kinder if she had been honest about the relationship and how she was feeling.
I do think that she was telling you whatever she thought would get her out of it.
You now know for sure that it is definately over. My ex also didn’t tell me why we were breaking up and years later I heard that he said that I had lied to him and that was why. It was so irritating because I never lied to him and I can’t even think why he would think that. It’s hard to let go of the past. Even now sometimes I feel like phoning him and setting him straight.