How can I learn to love my husband again?
We are very young and have been married for over 5 years. We have 3 beautiful children and want to make it work, but I am not willing to spend the rest of my life in an unhappy marriage. Can I teach myself to love him again or is it already too late for us? There is really nothing bad with our marriage, he’s a great guy, I just feel like he’s my friend.
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Tagged with: marriage • rest of my life • unhappy marriage
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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You likely still do love him. But like many marriages at this point, you have become bogged down with careers, kids, mortgages – all the stresses you didn’t have before.
The very next chance you get for a quickie with him – take it. In the bathroom in the morning while getting ready for work? Exciting stuff like this is what makes marriages stay hot. Seriously. One of you has to take charge – why not you?
YOU CANT LEARN TO LOVE..it has to happen on its own..it’s like you are forcing it
you feel like he’s just a friend??
That’s a perfect start to add tons of romance and surprises his way.
Get a babysitter and go out!
Dancing, dinner, movie, comedy, concert, play…
Initiate a little here.
Good luck and God bless!
My wife of 25 years suggests that you move in with me….listen to me while I practice my "Olympic quality" body noises while I drink beer in the garage , wearing my "Snoopie" boxer shorts……that should assist you on your current relationship.
OH…Did I mention that I can sing the entire opera version of the Oscar Mayer song in the shower too?
It can be hard when you have young kids. You need to take the time to work on your relationship instead of taking it for granted. Try planning "date nights" or surprise him with a gift "just because". Lots of times marriages fail because people forget to work on them. Just try putting some time and energy into your relationship, and focus on each other. Being friends is a great starting point, now you just need to get the romance and excitement back.
yes you can still make things work between you, its not too late.
communication is great in any relationship, so the first step towards achieving this is to sit him down and talk, from there you can move to the next level depending on the outcome of your discussion.
When the newness wears off of a marriage, the best you can hope for is to have a best friend out of it left. If you wanted to have a wild sexual relationship for the rest of your life, you should have never had children. Now he sees you as the mother of your children. Not a hot, sexy, young relationship kind of girl.
3 children in 5 years takes away the ‘togetherness’ of any couple. What you need to do is to get mom or sister/brother to take your kids overnight, and start ‘dating’ your hubby again. Or just at least put aside one night a week where you two can go out for a meal, or see a film or exhibition, relationships have to be worked at, it easy to start letting things slide and take each other for granted. Talk. Realise that the children would be devastated if you were to part. My mom and dad were 17 and 18 when they married and are still like a couple of newly-weds now. Give him a kiss, ask how his day was and LISTEN. Cook him his favourite meal and sit on his lap and fuss him, i’m sure he’d reciprocate – it’s just that you’ve forgotten how to be with each other – if the love is there, it’ll come back strong. If it isn’t, then, well think of the children, be friends and DON’T use them as pawns to hurt each other. I hope you have a long and happy marriage.
you can always learn to love him that’s how arranged marriages work you learn to respect them then love grows from respect and in a marriage you have to learn to love them and to work at making you marriage work
spend more alone time w/ him… go out and do things… even if it’s just grocery shopping without the kids…
make time for each other before the kids wake and after they go to sleep…
Sometimes, you have to think about what the idea of marriage is all about: every couple goes through bad times, good times, and BORING times, which is what you sound like. Are you just bored with the life you have right now? Does caring for your children seem more of a chore than a joy? Do you see your husband as a boring friend? How often do you have sex? Is it enough for you or too much? Do you still talk together about everything?
You say your marriage is unhappy, but the only complaint I can see is that you’re just not feeling that ’spark’ anymore. Are you willing to wreck your children’s lives over something like that? And you say your husband is your friend – I don’t think you realize how many wives wish they could say that about their husbands!
Maybe you should be counting your blessings rather than complaining. Five years is a lot of time to throw away just because you’re bored. Find other things to enjoy (NOT other men!) in your life – take a closer look at your husband and see what attracted you to him in the first place. Look at your children and be thankful they are healthy. Then look in the mirror & say to yourself that you are indeed blessed, because, my dear, YOU ARE!
Good.
carry on,untill you fill it burdain.
you sound just like me and my husband we have been married 10 years and i feel just like you sometimes i think i want out but we have 3 boys and can’t see leaving after ten years and 3 children to staret over i’m not happy but content maybe someday we will get out of it who knows i’ll never get married again though…