My fiance broke up with, he thinks he's gay?
ok so me and my fiance have been dating for 5 years, and engaged for 1 year. We are both dancers, mostly hip hop. We have two children together 2 years old, and 1 year old. We have been living together for 2 years. Well, we recently broke up and i made him move out. He basically said that he wasnt happy and that he lost that connection and he thinks he might be gay. We were supposed to get married next year. I feel at fault because i would go weeks, or even months at a time without giving him some (having sex). But im always tired, taking the care of the kids, cooking and cleaning, and I was in school at the time..working during the day and school at night. while he just played his video games all the time. Sometimes i just wasnt in the mood, and other times i felt like "why should i give you some when you dont what i ask" But anyway, i have no one to talk to about this. I dont know if i should believe that this is just a phase and that maybe because he’s a dancer and around gay people all the time ..that he’s just gettin feelings of friendship and attraction mixed up. He’s not used to havin close friends, and our gay friends are very friendship and warm hearted and feels good to be around them because they have good spirits. Should I think that he will come to his senses and come back to me and the kids? Or should I just prepare to move on. I cant do that so easily. i am too attached to him and i would be lying if I said i didnt love him. Would I be preparing to marry him next year..if I didnt love him?! For Better or worse right?
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Tagged with: close friends • dancer • dancers • Dating • feelings • fiance • friendship • gay friends • Gay People • having sex • hip hop • Lost • school at night • senses • spirits • video games
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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It sounds to me like he needs time to find himself and figure out what he needs.
Even if you are ready for marriage, obviously, he is not.
So, give him time. If he comes back, great. If not, make sure you are ready for a new life.
Do what you need to do – education, volunteer work, making friends.
In the mean time, for the sake of your children, go the the child support place and ask for child support.
Do it for your children.
Don’t believe him when he says that he will provide for them. You need a support order written adn approved for monthly allotments from his check.
Peace.
He’s an idiot and you are co-dependent!
WHY would you have two babies by man who sits around playing video games while you were working, going to school and taking care of the kids? WHAT type of role model is he/was he for the kids?……
Frankly, he needs to "man up" –recognize that he has created two children….and accept his responsibility for him, if he spends less time with video games and gay friends —then he may have a different mindset—–somehow, however, I do not see him going there (manning up)…he’s had it too easy and you’ve helped make it that way!
Sounds like he’s a lazy turnip not fulfilling his obligations as a father to support 2 kids. But, hey, that’s what happens when you don’t get married – he’s not legally bound to do anything, except maybe child support, but if he’s not working he doesn’t even have to provide that.
He’s lazy and shiftless and now he’s tired of you complaining about it/him all the time. So, he’s leaving and using the gay excuse because (a) it’s disgusting and (b) you can’t prove it’s a lie. Too bad for the kids. Yeah, you might lose your "love", but the kids will lose their daddy.
If your fiancee is willing to tell you that he "thinks he might be gay," then you ought to be prepared to take him seriously. Either he really really doesn’t want to get married and is looking for any excuse, or he really is serious about what he said. The main question is — does he want to have sex with guys? Cause if the problem is that you’re too tired for it with the kids and all, he could just go and find some other chick, right?
It’s possible that he might be attracted to both men and women and scared of commitment, or maybe having gay friends has shown him that it’s possible to have a happy life and be gay. I know at least three guys who got married and had children, then finally admitted to themselves that they were only really attracted to men. One of those guys is now happily partnered to my high school prom date, who was engaged twice to really cool women, and who only figured out (or admitted to himself) that he was gay when he was almost 40.
This guy is always going to be in your life (I hope) and your heart because he’s the father of your kids, so it’s worth it to you to keep caring and trying to understand what he’s going through. BUT, you’ve also got to take care of yourself and do what’s best for your kids. If it’s having a loving involved dad who has a boyfriend, you owe it to them to allow it to happen. And you owe it to yourself to find a guy who can love you in all ways (even when the kids have got you run ragged.) Loving someone who doesn’t love you back "that way" happens all the time, gay or straight. Maybe it’s time for you to move on to whatever’s next.
Gay or not he still needs to Be there for your children and pay child support if you both decide to split. He may be confused but HONESTLY no straight man would ever have doubts about his sexuality. You should prepare for the worst to move on. You will be okay, Be a strong role model for your children in the end they are all that matter. Of course it will be tough but keep your faith in God that one day you will find the right person that will make u happy. Good luck and best wishes!