Can my wife love me again?
My wife and I recently separated after 9 years. She moved out with our developmentally disabled daughter. We have been separated for 2 months. She has told me that she doesn’t love me anymore. She has not filed for legal separation yet though she has mentioned it a couple of times. The main reason this happenned was due to a major disagreement over our daughter. After it was determined that she was developmentally disabled, I decided that we couldn’t spank her anymore when she has a tantrum. My wife continued to spank her. Eventually, I threatened to call the police on her if she didn’t stop spanking my daughter. Mind you, I meant this only as a scare tactic. My wife got so upset about it that she moved out and said that she can forgive me but can’t forget that I said that. I believe she is just still upset about this and that is why she says she doesn’t love me anymore. Can she get over this and love me again?
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Tagged with: disagreement • happenned • legal separation • scare tactic • tantrum
Filed under: How To Get Her Back
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Stand for what you believed. You didn’t do anything wrong, but to love and protect for your daughter. A father love for a daughter is nothing wrong. Your wife should be happy to have a husband like you, being there and caring for both. I think she just upset that you threatened to call the police on her, but in time she will understand your love and caresses toward both of them. Explain to her that spanking is not the good idea for discipline to your daughter. Be honest I don’t like to do that to any children either.
Eesh. Maybe you should file for divorce and got for custody. If her way of resolving differences on child-rearing is to leave and take your daughter with her, I’d say that was controlling and manipulative.
spanking a disabled youngster is abuse, since they arent able to control themselves.
If you want to get back with ur wife suggest counselling. Even if you dont, you guys should seek counselling, cuz she is gonna be leave alone with the kid eventually and maybe ur wife will lose it on your daughter if ur wife cant control her temper.
Abuse might make your daughter worse.
Smacking a developmentally disabled child is not going to correct the problem or issue that lead to the smacking. Your wife is very wrong to smack – there are plenty of other ways to deal with things, including time out or other age/developmentally appropriate ways to punish or check. What bothers me about your question is your statement "I decided that we wouldn’t spank her anymore when she has a tantrum". Surely you should have decided together? Maybe that is why your wife is defying you. You were right 100% to threaten to call the Police – smacking is child abuse especially with a disabled child. I think you have control issues and that is more why your wife moved out rather than the smacking issue. Talk to your School Nurse or Health Visitor about more appropriate ways to handle bad behaviour but definitely stick to your guns about the not smacking.
WHY DO YOU STILL LIKE TO GET YOUR WIFE BACK IF SHE IS ABUSIVE & ABNORMAL, WHAT YOU SHOULD DO IS TO GET YOUR DAUGHTER, IF WHAT YOU’RE SAYING IS TRUE, MAYBE IT’S THE OTHER WAY AROUND.
i dont think that your wife has stopped loving you. i personally believe that the stress has got to both of you and both are trying to handle it the best you see fit. I think that if you went and saw a marriage guidance counsiler that would really benefit you both and that you could sort things out.
It’s a trying and perhaps traumatic time for…and she is not able to cope with looking after your daughter….obviously she needs help and you are the father, so you need to do what it takes to support your daughter and give her the proper love and care she needs. Take care.
honestly, your wife needs help. You were right about this situation, there is no need for her to spank a child especially a child with disabilities. Your child is helpless here and needs protection. You must do everything in your power to protect this child. How can you even think about being with your wife unless she changes her way. If you put your wife feelings ahead of your child shame on you. There is no way on earth I would ever let my wife do that no matter how much I loved her. If she cant see it and wont do anything about it, you must report her. This is abuse. For gods sake if you let her touch your daughter again, then you are condoning it. And if that happens neither of you should be bringing up this child. Get your wife the help she needs.
don’t wait for her to come back go file for a divorce! No one in there right mind should even consider spanking a disable child let a lone a normal child.
That is totally abuse and not that she has the child of your house what else is she doing to that child, I feel the child needs more supervision on this matter. Go for a divorce and fight like hell to get the child off her. You should of not told her you was calling the cops you should of just done it and got it over with and made sure the child was safe from her. As I said what is she doing to the child now that you Can not see it, tyeing her up, locking her in her room??? this is some questions you should be concerned about. You wife needs a lot of help and not what help you can give her she needs special help. Let her go and get your child off her.
I won’t want her to live me again if she is abusive to my child.
Well Ive never had to raise a disabled child so i can only imagine the stress that can have on a relationship. It takes very special people to be able to cope with this. Maybe y’all can seek counseling from parents who have been in yalls situation. Your wife may just be having a hard time coping. Thus lashing out with the spanking. I’m sure what you said hurt her. And with all that’s going on she needs your love and support. Good luck.
I think it is over.
You threatened to call the police on her. Don’t you get it? Possibly taking away a child she loves.
When you said, "…if she didn’t stop spanking my daughter…" you are going to find out how much she is "my" daughter in a real hurry.
Women feel this is their blood and not yours. You don’t come between them… ever.
Don’t listen to most of these people because they don’t understand what it’s like to be around an LD child. All are not the same and the court will be able to see it. These people discount an LD child but the court doesn’t. The fact that it took someone to determine the child was LD tells me, it’s not obvious… and even to her own parents.
So this is a disagreement over child rearing. I have a sister that is LD. Unless it is obvious to you and would be to the rest of the world that this was wrong for your wife, then you are coming between her and her kid.
It depends on if she really does love you or not. If she don’t then maybe she was waiting on an excuse to leave and found one. Maybe she don’t want to face the fact that your daughter is disabled or maybe she is blaming you inside. She could be having problems with it. Maybe you need to talk to a counselor and try to get to the bottom of your problems.