Ex-wife thinks I want revenge. She has not seen or done anything for the kids in 8 months.?
She called to talk to the kids last night. Of course I recorded the conversation as I always do. She calls and promises the kids everything and does nothing. She told my daughter everything was my fault as to why she does not visit them. She has not seen or done anything for the kids in 8 months.
My ex-wife has made things very difficult for us the past year. She has not paid any of her child support. She is the reason my pay is being garnished to pay a loan she made right after we separated. DA says I have to deal with that during or divorce settlement. In our conversation, she says she will not give me an address so she can be served court papers. Says she will not come see the kids because I will have her arrested. Yes, I would. She and her boyfriend have used my identity for speeding tickets, him going to jail, Identity theft. She has outstanding warrants for drugs arrest as well.
Why does she tell the kids I am the problem? Should I stop phone contact with her as well? Thanks.
She thinks I want her in jail. I do.
I tell her I want her to take care of her obligations and responsibilities. Which I do.
I want her to stop doing the things against me. Like using my identity. Thats why I want her in jail.
I want her to stop telling the kids everything is my fault.
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Tagged with: child support • drugs • going to jail • identity theft • outstanding warrants • speeding tickets
Filed under: Getting Even With An Ex
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Two different issues here. The financial issues are something you should be discussing with your lawyer, as you were advised by the DA. The issue with the kids, you have no control over. She’s telling the kids its your fault because she is too immature and selfish to admit her behavior is out of line. Talk to your kids about this, and keep out the other stuff she is doing to you. This should be a conversation about them. Do they want this contact with her? They live with you, they know the truth about their mother. Its your job as a father to protect them from more emotional harm. Be honest about her, but do not talk about her. You have nothing to prove to your kids. You are working to raise and support them, they know that, no matter what she says. Its all about the action not the words coming out of her mouth. This is their mother, for good or bad, and that won’t change no matter what the circumstances of your divorce. Ask them if they want to be able to talk to her on the phone, my guess is they do, but let them tell you what they want and don’t make it a contest. You should love them unconditionally, and it shouldn’t matter to you if they want to speak with their mother.
stop talking to her and explain to the kids that she has chosen to go elsewhere. your kids will catch on quick when there are fewer and fewer calls/visits from her.
Don’t entertain her- let her squirm and wonder what your next move is.
As for the address- the court can present papers- they know how to find people.
i would sounds to me like your wife is on the downward spiral. but you need to explain this to the kids that mommy isn’t in her right mind… and is doing some really bad things.
Forget about her, all you will get out of her is the satisfaction to be put in debtors prison. Worry first and foremost about getting rid of the debt she unloaded on you as long as she wont seek help and drop her bad girl ways its better she stays away from the children anyway. Find a compassionate sweet woman that is good to your children.
No, you should take her back to court. If she is behind in child support, that means that you must have been to court at one time to have that ordered. You don’t need an address, just a social security number and the court will find her. Also, if she is using your name and id when her and her boyfriend get pulled over etc., then you can call the police, sue her, etc. I suggest you find your cahones, stand up and fight her, and be the man you know you should be.
sweetie you need to stop the negative communication she is having with the kids. if she can not communicate with them as their mother and not talk to them about you and her problems than dont allow her to talk to them. she telling them that she is going to do this and that and that and you will have her arrested and all that mess is not go for the kids. they should not be hearing that mess nor should they be subjected to her lies and total disregard for their feelings. dont let her talk to them until she get herself together. she is tramazing those children. you should also let the credit bureaus know that your identity has been stolen and you would like to put a block on your credit file. also as far as the speeding ticketing if you go to court and face the police he/she should be able to know if you were the one driving or if it was somebody else. file charges with the local police regarding that mess. but please dont allow her to further damage those kids. you are their only source of stability and integrity. raise them well and always put them first and you and them will be just fine. GodBless
I would not speak with her and sit down possibly with a counselor and your kids and explain to them that they are with you for a reason!! How can she possibly care about them if she doesn’t take responsibility for her actions!!!! As their mom she has a right to speak with them but I would not speak with her and continue through the courts!!!!! Keep your chin up and continue to be there for your kids. Kids are not dumb they will see her for what she truly is. Don’t bad mouth her to the kids keep those opinions to yourself because your kids will respect you more!!!!
Give a copy of the tape to your divorce attorney. I’m sorry, but she does not seem like the type of woman who would stand up and say that she has been a bad mother. Stand up for the kids sake, I’m sure they see their mother for what she is.
Whatever you do, don’t badmouth the other parent to the children. You will just traumatize them further and alienate them.
Love them, nurture them, nourish them with your love — and all the more since the other parent does not care. Assure them everyday that you are there for them, that they can count on you.
My ex bad-mouthed me to the kids, the eldest particularly went through a very rough period that he blamed me for everything. But I took it all in, and just didn’t give up on my children, loving them and providing for them. He’s now at an age that he understands who is wrong, and he now realizes what a big call it was for me to withdraw all the charges against their dad for their sake. What I did not want was to traumatize him and his brother. A month ago, over hot chocolate, my eldest child apologized for his horrible behaviour in the past and gave me a big hug.
I agree with this guys cut all ties with her for now and start picking up the pieces to fix your life. get help for fixing your credit (check your credit report) and those parking tickets, obviously you cant be in two places (or states at once) so filing a suit against her is your best bet, for now forget about child support (leave that to your lawyer, give her social security #) and most important concentrate on your kids because at this point they probably feel they’re at a tug of war. they need stability in their lives, love and support from you their father. they dont need to know their mom is screwing up for now since they are seeing this with their own eyes. getting back to normal should your main priority, so getting some therapy help for yourself will do wonders for you too. good luck with all your problems and may god bless you!
Time to pull the plug on that one.
No phone, no contact.
Get the divorce papers going. There are methods for divorce without her being there DO THEM.
Its time to keep her from any contact with the kids until she comes out in the open.
As for revenge, there is absolutely NOTHING WRONG with telling the b i t c h that YES you do wish revenge on her.
She earned it and you anger with her should not be displaced. Make sure she understands how truly wrong she has acted toward you and you WILL make sure she makes it up to you if even by sending her and her BFcriminal to jail.
I would start with NO PHONE CALLS and a word of warning to all concerned that if she appears at school, daycare or where ever she is NOT to see tha children and to call the police for the arrest warrants.
What do you hope to gain by recording those phone conversations? They’re not legal, and would most likely never be admissible in court.
For your kid’s sake I hope you don’t play those tapes to them in order to refute everything your ex said. That would make you a psycho.
She tells the kids that you’re the reason she doesn’t see them because that is the truth! Is this really that difficult for you to figure out? If your ex is really doing the things that you say she is, then change your phone number and make it unlisted. She’s committing crimes, she’s shirking her responsibilities in life, and she’s telling your kids things that they don’t need to hear. You have nothing to lose by making it impossible for her to call your kids.
Just think of it—no more recording conversations, no more damage control with your kids, and she’ll have no choice but to risk arrest if she wants to see them. What will you do with all of that extra time on your hands?
I think you should stop the contact with her and your kids.
As far as serving her papers, does she work? If you know were she goes, have her followed. Get a P.I.
Good
Luck
If I was in your shoes,I would all together stop her from calling.She needs to grow up and understand that she has kids to support and its not about her anymore.Tell her when she can get clean and start doing things right then she can be a part of the kids life.Your kids dont need to be a part of that.Tell your kids that their mother had to go and get help so she can get better.why does one not grow up when they have kids?Is it that hard for them to face the fact that its time to put their kids first and foremost.
As far as her calling,I would stop that until she can straighten up and see that she is only hurting your kids.When they grow up,they will see that you were the one that was there for them and that you supported them.Then how will she feel about that.It wont be you telling them this,it will be them seeing with their own two eyes.Good Luck
She sounds like a psycho ex-wife!
You should do whatever is legally possible to protect both yourself and the children from her crazymaking.