What can I do to try to fall in love with my husband again?
We have been married for 5 years and things are getting a bit stale, how can I get it back to where we were when we first met?
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Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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I cant give you a whole lot of advice on this, but I will suggest this- Read the book "The wedding" by Nicolas sparks. The book is about a man trying to get his wife to fall back into love with him.
Look, every marriage goes through this, and i dont think its that you two are not in love anymore, its just that things are starting to get very repetitive, and nothing new is going on- like you said, stale, and if you dont work to keep it exciting, your marriage will falter.
Sometimes all it takes is getting back into the old times. Like going out to the place where you first met, or even sending him sexy text messages showing just enough skin to tempt him while you are at work, or he is (if hes at work, it will drive him CRAZY and he will be begging for you when he gets home). Try being a little more spontaneous with your sex life, or with anything really- like going on a spur of the moment trip somewhere romantic that you will both enjoy.
Leave him little notes around the house to find, or give him love coupons- those are always very fun! or you can get a game from spencers, to spice up your sex a little bit if you have not used a game like that already.
The thing you need to remember is, love is always love, and you shouldnt confuse things getting "old" with falling out of love- all you guys need is a breath of fresh air in your relationship, and little things do wonders. Big things are overrated and dont help a relationship when it needs it the most, its the little gestures and activities that make it sweet and fun and exciting, and more like it was when you were new together.
Just be sure that you truly love him still- because if you dont, then trying to make it less "boring" will only make things worse, and wont help anything. So be sure you really do still love him, and if you do, the two of you just need to get back to being spontaneous and being the sweet little love birds im sure the two of you were when you first got together.
Good Luck!!!!
Try reminiscing about old times and things ya used to do. Bring out old pics and confront him with them. Play fight with him (aka pillow fight) to enlighten your spirits and shed the tension. If I think of anything else Ill be sure to edit.. hope I helped for now. Good luck
Be paitent
Be natural
Try to visit old and sweet memorable places, where both of you met
Ansincere effort may respose, but take time.
It will never be like when you first met, but you can get the love back. What you need to do is act towards your husband like you are head over heels in love with him.
For a while, it will be forced and you won’t really be feeling it, but just do it. After a short amount of time, the way you are acting towards him will be the way you feel towards him.
I know it sounds silly, but it works. I read it in a magazine once, and it’s always worked for me.
Marriages have ups and downs. You’re in a "down" right now, so you need to do the work to bring it back up.
Well what really worked for me and my husband was a cruise. It was different because we were away from everything and calls were so expensive we didn’t even call home to check on the kids. This was after six years of marriage. And now we are a month away from our 10 year anniversary and things are better than they were when we got married. Another thing that was fun and brought back that old new love feeling. We had an affair but with each other. He would call me from a pay phone and act like someone else and we would go out on a dates. He asked questions like he did when we first got together like what were my interest. He brought me flowers and we just role played. It was exciting.
When you first met you probably used to talk a lot about what you liked and what you wanted and it was a trip of discovery. You could go out on a date and use that as a time when you dont speak about the kids or anything to do with the home, but rather re-discover each other again.
Been there done that! If you really feel that the relationship is getting stale only you and your hubby can spice things up. Does he even know how you feel? If not this might be your first and biggest problem, it sounds like you really need to have some serious alone time. You also need to realize that as you get older your relationship may seem like it’s just the same old boring routine, only you can change that and he won’t be able to help or as with most men he may not even realize that you feel like your going no where fast, so tell him it may make all the difference in the world.
Passion. Find a cause – helping others, being Big Brothers/Big Sisters; golf, redoing the house, skiing, whatever it is it needs to have a COMMON focus. you both need to wanna do it together – train for a triathalon…whatever it is. It’s bound to get a bit stale/random but that’s why you go out with your gfs and party together; have fun; go to Vegas, etc.
Love is NOT a "feeling". Love is a decision you make. So choose to love him. When you wake up every morning ask yourself one question; "What can I do TODAY to make my husband feel loved by me?" Then DO IT. EVERY DAY. Eventually, his first thought each morning will be "what can I do to make my wife feel my love today".
You will make yourself, and your husband, miserable trying to recapture that knot-in-my-stomach-can’t-wait-to-be-with-him infatuation that comes with "new love". Remember that he’s the man you chose to spend your life with.
Genuine love isn’t that feeling of floating 2 feet off the ground…it’s the clear and certain knowledge that whether you’re floating or crashing to the ground, (and everything wonderful and awful and mudane and breathtaking in between) there is one person in this world who is right there next to you loving, hating, lamenting, rejoicing and SHARING the same moments for the same reasons; you CHOSE each other with whom to make the journey.
I wish you well.
bj is probly it!