How do you save a marrige when the other one is deployed?
I saw the the movie fireproof because i am having troubles in my marriage. I bought the Love Dare book to see if it helps.But my problem is that my husband is deployed.It seems that his very young booty call somehoe got into his unit, and now he wants a divorce.His whole attitude changed towards me when she got there. Should I say anything to her about it as well?
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Tagged with: attitude • booty call • divorce • love • marriage
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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I counsel couples recovering from infidelity, and I’m also an Army wife. I wish I had some encouraging words from you, because I am a huge advocate of attempting to reconcile after infidelity. It can be done, even though it takes work from both parties and both parties need to want it, and marriages are usually stronger for it.
But, the fact is, dealing with a deployment is hard enough. Add to that the infidelity issues, and I will have to honestly tell you that the deck is stacked against you. Its not impossible, nothing is impossible, but it’s highly unlikely. Your biggest issue is that he doesn’t WANT to work things out with you, he simply wants a divorce.
The most that I can suggest is reporting the two of them to his C.O. Relationships like this are disallowed, so, if you report it, the two of them will be separated, and they will be punished accordingly (demoted, discharged, etc.). Adultery is highly frowned upon within the military, and, the fact is, if she has been actively pursuing him, her reputation and her career will be ruined, and she will be in a lot of trouble for breaking up your marriage. That’s the most I can suggest, but it probably won’t get you much. He’ll just be angry and defense and feel attacked that you reported his actions.
As for her, what is it you want to say to her? To stop? Do you think she’s going to listen to you? It’s not like she doesn’t know he’s married, of course she knows. She knows, and she doesn’t care, so you talking to her isn’t going to change anything whatsoever. They’ll probably both get a laugh out of it in fact.
Really, you can’t save a marriage that the other person doesn’t want to say. You deserve better, and you know it in your heart.
You make him sound innocent. Your problem isnt that your husband is deployed, but rather that he’s actively seeking the attention of other women. Thats your problem.
You seem to think that your marriage CAN be saved…No offense, but its over honey and you should be trying to find ways on MOVING ON with your life and put your marriage behind you…Your husband has no real commitment to you and obviously has other things..or other WOMEN that he’s thinking of…You deserve better…Who SERIOUSLY wants to wonder if their husband is cheating on you for the rest of their lives????