Have you read: Advice to young men: Do not marry, do not have children??
Advice to young men: Do not marry, do not have children
ENTERSTAGERIGHT ^ | 11/12/2007 | Stephen Baskerville
Posted on Tuesday, November 13, 2007 7:08:30 AM by Responsibility2nd
Marriage is a foundation of civilized life. No advanced civilization has ever existed without the married, two-parent family. Those who argue that our civilization needs healthy marriages to survive are not exaggerating.
And yet I cannot, in good conscience, urge young men to marry today. For many men (and some women), marriage has become nothing less than a one-way ticket to jail. Even the New York Times has reported on how easily "the divorce court leads to a jail cell," mostly for men. In fact, if I have one urgent piece of practical advice for young men today it is this: Do not marry and do not have children.
Spreading this message may also, in the long run, be the most effective method of saving marriage as an institution. For until we understand that the principal threat to marriage today is not cultural but political, and that it comes not from homosexuals but from heterosexuals, we will never reverse the decline of marriage. The main destroyer of marriage, it should be obvious, is divorce. Michael McManus of Marriage Savers points out that "divorce is a far more grievous blow to marriage than today’s challenge by gays." The central problem is the divorce laws.
It is well known that half of all marriages end in divorce. But widespread misconceptions lead many to believe it cannot happen to them. Many conscientious people think they will never be divorced because they do not believe in it. In fact, it is likely to happen to you whether you wish it or not.
First, you do not have to agree to the divorce or commit any legal transgression. Under "no-fault" divorce laws, your spouse can divorce you unilaterally without giving any reasons. The judge will then grant the divorce automatically without any questions.
But further, not only does your spouse incur no penalty for breaking faith; she can actually profit enormously. Simply by filing for divorce, your spouse can take everything you have, also without giving any reasons. First, she will almost certainly get automatic and sole custody of your children and exclude you from them, without having to show that you have done anything wrong. Then any unauthorized contact with your children is a crime. Yes, for seeing your own children you will be subject to arrest.
There is no burden of proof on the court to justify why they are seizing control of your children and allowing your spouse to forcibly keep you from them. The burden of proof (and the financial burden) is on you to show why you should be allowed to see your children.
The divorce industry thus makes it very attractive for your spouse to divorce you and take your children. (All this earns money for lawyers whose bar associations control the careers of judges.) While property divisions and spousal support certainly favor women, the largest windfall comes through the children. With custody, she can then demand "child support" that may amount to half, two-thirds, or more of your income. (The amount is set by committees consisting of feminists, lawyers, and enforcement agents – all of whom have a vested interest in setting the payments as high as possible.) She may spend it however she wishes. You pay the taxes on it, but she gets the tax deduction.
You could easily be left with monthly income of a few hundreds dollars and be forced to move in with relatives or sleep in your car. Once you have sold everything you own, borrowed from relatives, and maximized your credit cards, they then call you a "deadbeat dad" and take you away in handcuffs. You are told you have "abandoned" your children and incarcerated without trial.
Evidence indicates that, as men discover all this, they have already begun an impromptu marriage "strike": refusing to marry or start families, knowing they can be criminalized if their wife files for divorce. "Have anti-father family court policies led to a men’s marriage strike?" ask Glenn Sacks and Dianna Thompson in the Philadelphia Enquirer. In Britain, fathers tour university campuses warning young men not to start families. In his book, From Courtship to Courtroom, Attorney Jed Abraham concludes that the only protection for men to avoid losing their children and everything else is not to start families in the first place.
Is it wise to disseminate such advice? If people stop marrying, what will become of the family and our civilization?
Marriage is already all but dead, legally speaking, and divorce is the principal reason. The fall in the Western birth rate is directly connected with divorce law.
It is also likely that same-sex marriage is being demanded only because of how heterosexuals have already debased marriage through divorce law. "The world of no-strings heterosexual hookups and 50% divorce rates preceded gay marriage," advocate Andrew Sullivan points out. "All homosexuals are saying…is that, under the current definition, there’s no reason to exclude us. If you want to return straight marriage to the 1950s, go ahead. But until you do, the exclusion of gays is simply an anomaly – and a denial of basic civil equality."
We will not restore marriage by burying our heads in the sand; nor simply by preaching to young people to marry, as the Bush administration’s government therapy programs now do. The way to restore marriage as an institution in which young people can place their trust, their children, and their lives is to make it an enforceable contract. We urgently need a national debate about divorce, child custody, and the terms under which the government can forcibly sunder the bonds between parents and their children. We owe it to future generations, if there are to be any.
Stephen Baskerville, Ph.D., is assistant professor of government at Patrick Henry College and President of the American Coalition for Fathers and Children
Is that you really feel next?
Not biased at all are you?
Valerie:
I will take your word for it since you have no FACTS to back you up.
These women that go to college.
Who gives them finacial support?
If it is their fathers…..OMG!
Fathers are MEN!!!!
Dear God!
Learning: Women tend to change to witches after marriage.
Related Posts - I've been called a weak wife and a strong wife by some because I'm trying to save broken marriage. Opinion pls? My Husband comes and goes to explore other relationships and right now were off for the past year. Off means he only acts as good father to our children and not a husband to me. My choice is to work through the broken marriage for our children and not quickly......
- Hi!Funny or no? 24 Fun Things To Do In An Elevator... 1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!" 2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly. 3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask:......
- Husband filed for divorce but has not taken the steps to try and finish it. I'm still in love...help!? We've been separated for a while...we have 2 young children together. He filed for divorce 7 mos ago but has not taken the steps to finish it. It seems like he wants me to finish it for him since I have a lawyer and he doesn't, but that shouldn't stop......
- Save My Relationship. How To Make Him Love Me Again None of us go into a marriage thinking that someday it will end in the two of us splitting up and talking about a divorce. Unfortunately, that is a reality for far too many of us and even if we don't get a divorce, many of us live unhappy lives.......
- My husband had an affair with my best friend...What should I do? My husband had an affair with my best friend...What should I do? I just found out through a saved e-mail on my husbands phone that he had a 4 month affair with my best friend whom I've known since grade school. I would never in a million years suspected that......
- When you voted against Gay Marriage, were you really passing judgment on a few gays or the every gay person? And don't hand me that protecting marriage crap either. If you want to save marriage, ban divorce! http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=A9FJui4.UhtF8ngBzQHsy6IX?qid=20060927211016AAt7Equ During my last post Christians complained I was judging them by the actions of a few. Or they claimed that ‘those people’ are not true Christians--funny that's not how ‘those people’ tell......
- How do you let a guy know that you appreciate him? I'm seeing this guy & he's just great. I recently started reading a book called "For Women Only:What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men." The author said that men need affirmation. I want to let him know how truly awesome he is. We don't say "I......
- 3 Fixing Marriage In Crisis Advice There are many ways to fix your marriage crisis. You can go for a marriage therapy, looking for marriage counselor or friends to be your adviser. But nothing beat if you are willing to put in an extra bit of effort to rescue your marriage. This not only saves you......
- How To Counter Bad Effects Of Divorce All children are different and respond differently to divorce. Depending on the characteristics of the children - age, emotional maturity, happiness, resiliency to trauma - the easier or more difficult it will be for children to weather a divorce.As a parent, you should know your children better than anyone...use your......
- What Are You Teaching Your Children About Finances? As parents, most people focus on the basic lessons of life, and may not be covering important financial lessons that could last a lifetime. Successful adults are usually those that were trained early on in proper management of their money, and developed an early respect for a dollar. If you......
- A Case for Marriage - a human right? This is a well thought out case for marriage - regardless of sexual orientation. Trisha, thank you for putting your thoughts out here! I wonder how many individuals would be given permission to be authentic who are heavily entrenched in Religion to 'come out' - which could possibly be......
- Marriage And Money: Do You And Your Spouse Differ On Finances? My wife and I have been married for over eleven years now. When we first married we were complete opposites on all things financial. I am, by nature, a saver. My wife is the free spirit, or the spender, in our relationship. In an effort to keep things civil those......
- 5 Ways to Save Money Without Even Trying The whole process of saving money is usually associated with pinching pennies until they scream for mercy, living on food from dented cans and basically giving up everything for a future goal. While this will indeed help you put more money away, saving does not need to mean hardship. We......
- Study shows Women Saving Less than Men for Retirement! This topic almost makes me want to run and hide after putting up a headline like that, but alas, it's true -- women are saving less than men when it comes to their retirement accounts. According to recent data from WISER (The Women’s Institute for a Secure Retirement), women are......
Tagged with: advanced civilization • civilized life • conscience • decline of marriage • destroyer • divorce court • divorce laws • heterosexuals • homosexuals • jail cell • many men • marriage savers • michael mcmanus • misconceptions • new york times • principal threat • stephen baskerville • transgression • way ticket • young men
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!
Hate to say it, but definitely agree. My advice to any young man is DO NOT GET MARRIED, DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN. You are only setting yourself up for heartache and financial ruin. I am the one who was the single parent (Dad). Wouldn’t trade my boy for anything or anyone..but…he deserved a better life than I alone was able to provide for him.
I’m glad this one is for the guys because I surely don’t want to read this.
Oh my f***ing gosh were you trying to write a book!!
I didn’t read it!! That was honestly the longest question on here!
i agree with the first answer. i have never been so happy to be a girl!
I read a little then decided to stop its tooo long
Baskerville has a stick up his own a$$ and is suffering from what can only be termed sour grapes. He is predicating this "study" (actually rant) on his own personal experiences; the fact he has a PhD does not in any way denote he is in a credible position to dispense this sort of advice. The guy is bitter and angry toward all women because he himself has "suffered" indignities at the hands of other woman, probably ex wives who got what they deserved in the alimony settlement and now he is trying to tell every man what to do. basically, the guy is full of what makes the grass grow green. He is a misogynist in scholastic clothing.
Stephen Baskerville probably had some trouble in bed and now feels bitter and need to find a way to pass the blame on society
LOL!
This works BOTH ways.
And by the way, women sacrifice FAR MORE than men do in marriage. Always have.
The only reason you men B***h is because you can’t then go and screw every nasty thing that has three holes and walks on two legs.
And talk about "financial" ruin???? There are plenty of husbands that can’t even hold down a DECENT JOB.
Its a proven FACT there are MORE WOMEN enrolled in college than men too!
Thanks for the laugh though!
Solution: Don’t marry an evil witch. Use good judgment in picking your partner.
figures it would be written by a lib homo
Just because there are "no fault"divorces, doesn’t mean that there wasn’t someone at fault. It just means that the court doesn’t want/need to hear about it.
Most women get divorced for a reason. Most men get divorced for a reason. Just because it isn’t "documented" in the court filings doesn’t mean that a reason doesn’t exist.
Ideally, the custody of the children should be equally split between the parents. However, the laws have gotten so harsh on men…not because of women, but because the state/government is tired of raising these kids.
Men and women, equally, are responsible for the disputes over child support. There are men that quit jobs, take lower paying jobs, turn down overtime…anything not to pay more child support. Then there are women that take their ex back to court to raise child support every time she feels like it. One is just as responsible as the other.
Good answer, Dark Eyes.
As for the article, it works both ways. I think you’ll find just as many women who don’t want to marry. If women wish to have children, they can go ahead and do so. I know several professional women who are single mothers by choice. Since all men want to do is bed every woman in sight, there will always be a willing sperm donor for those who want to be moms.
I’m sure women don’t marry with the idea they’ll ever be divorced. But times have changed and women no longer have to put up with abusive, cheating deadbeat husbands. THAT is why the divorce rate is so high.