How to prove to my wife I love her and want her back.?
I have been married 6 months now. My story starts 5 months before we were married I participated in an online porn sight via web cam, and once again 4 months after we were married. I have talked down to my wife and and at times been mean to her. For the past two months I have been clean of the porn and seeking professional help for that problem. I have been trying to change my ways with how I talk to my wife. She has told me she wants to seperate and have space to think about what she wants to do. I now realize my mistakes and I am trying to change to prove to her that she is my life.I am having a hard time letting her go and giving space. She tells me she still loves, but not in love with me anymore. Can I get her to feel love again for me. I love this woman with all my heart, just didn’t realize I was hurting her so bad. I just don’t know what to do during this space period not knowing if she will come back to me. What can I do to win her back, and show her I’m changing.
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Tagged with: 4 months • 5 months • hard time • heart • love • web cam
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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I don;t know. Maybe you can both seek counseling. This may take some time. You have broken her trust in you.
Sorry dude. You screwed up. How can you say that you didn’t know you were hurting her?
If you want a chance, it will take time to prove yourself to her. If she doesn’t believe you, you still need to work on yourself so you have a chance at a serious relationship with someone else later. Otherwise you will just do this over and over again, hurting your mate every time.
i think the only thinkg you can do is continue with your treatment and respectfully give her a bit of space. maybe send her some flowers with a nice card telling her how you feel about her & how much you want her back, that you’ve been doing well in treatment, etc. don’t call or go to where she is, but send her things so she knows you’re thinking of her. it will still give her the space she needs.
and ask her what you can do to regain her trust. and do it.
beg for forgiveness and ask a second chance…..
Well, kudos for you for actually trying…most people say they will and they do, but only temporarily. You may not be able to win her back. She’s lost trust for you and apparently doesn’t feel the same way about you anymore. Not only do you have to show you are trustworthy, you mean it, and will be a good husband, but you have to work on her feelings for you. The later is very, very difficult to do. Just let her think about things…stay in contact, show her how you’ve changed…and, not just with words. But, don’t be too pushy. Good luck.
Firstly, allow me to commend you for the courage you are displaying in seeking help and for the hard work you are putting into your own maturity and personality by working to understand how your actions affect others rather than focusing entirely upon yourself as you have in the past.
Secondly, I’m afraid that you have proven to your wife that she cannot trust you to really care about her and take care of her. You are going to have to prove to her that you are more than just cheap and easy words. You do that by giving her the space she needs. Then you woo her all over again. Remind her, through actions, of all the reasons she fell in love in you in the first place.
All you can do at this point is to continue working on yourself. Telling her you’re going to change and actually showing her are two different things. I’m sure you told her you would change after the first time she caught you! Can’t really blame her for having doubts!!
Just stay in counceling and ALWAYS treat her with respect. If it is meant to be, it will be – if not, learn something from this and don’t let your next relationship end the same way!!
Good luck!
do something for her that you did a long time ago that she loved. surprise her with it. if you have to get other people involved. like a child bringing her a rose, and reading her a poem at work or when she opens the front door. be creative my friend, and i will pray for you.
Give her the space she’s asking for and just keep clean. Stay in counselling, stay away from the porn and be kinder to your wife. if you stay consistent with this you may be able to win her back….but if it’s too late, you have to accept that and move on. get involved with a local church and find a group of men who can help you be accountable for you actions.
There’s no real answer to your question because every women needs a different thing.
Give her what she wants, which right now is space. Make sure you tell her that you are reluctant to give her space because you don’t want to lose her, but that you’ve realized that you made some serious mistakes and the ball is really in her court.
Ask her what kind of contact, if any, that you can make while she’s taking her break. Maybe email would be good… you’ll probably be more able to tell her your true feelings over the computer better than you can face to face.
Good luck!
If you want to show her you’ve changed, you need to give her the space she is asking for. You realize now how much you hurt her and hopefully she’ll come back to you, but it’s her decision. Ask her out on a date some day and have a good time. At the end of the date, give her a kiss and tell her you miss her and that you love her. She needs time to heal, but don’t stay away too far from her either. She needs to know that you are willing to give up what you want for what she wants. Right now she wants time away from you.
I think that you first have to show her that your not just doing it so you can have her back! … She needs to know that you saw it as a problem and even if she wasn’t there you would still want to change. I’m sure she knows you love her but in the back of her mind she will wonder if its going to happen again… maybe even years later. Let her see you have changed … even if its not just for her …. you will be better off
im sorry to hear what you both are going through but i think you need to give her that space. coming from a woman i can tell you that when we get hurt its easy to make ourselves believe we are feeling a sertain way about something when were not..dont bug hur constantly cuz it will make it worse but continue to change for the better and let her relize it on hur own but at the same time make sure your still letting hur know every now and then that you love and care for her and show her u need her. GuD lUcK!
It seems like you learned the lessons, so there is nothing to prove, just BE that. If not for her, then for yourself and the next lovely lady. Love must be given freely or not at all. It’s impossible to "make" someone love you. Sometimes the most difficult thing to do, and exactly what is required of a higher love, is to let go. If you can do that with love and grace, then if/when she comes back to you, treasure her with all your heart. If not, still be the best you can. You see, in the end, it’s not about your relationship with her. It’s about your relationship with yourself and God.
Counseling for you first, then see if she’ll go along w/ you. Giver her unconditional love every day – small gestures, making her coffee, sending her cards at work, flowers, candies, making a fool of yourself for her. Go all out. It’s ultimately her decision and even if you try everything, there is no guarentee that it will work.
People can be tricky…the more and more you pursue and beg the more it will push her away…give her space, give her time to think, and give her time to deal with the pain…she will probably come back to you, and if she does then treat her right and don’t do the same thing again!
You win her over the same way you did the first time. You know what she likes and how she likes it (it sounds dirty but I mean it in a nice way). You might have to deal with the space issue. It is the price you pay for your past transgressions. It might be a long road of trying your hardest and begging for forgiveness but it will all work out in the end. Just remember if you get her back to treasure everyday with her.
If you two have a good foundation, then that’s good. Have a talk with her as communication can assist to break down barriers and resolve things between you and her.