desperate to get my wife to love me again?
My wife has told me that we have drifted apart and she no longer loves me for the past 5 years i have worked and also refurbished our home single handed while she tendered our 7 year old son and now the works done she seems to want to throw away 13 years without trying to save it. i thought i was doing the right thing. but it seems that it was all work and no play. i am now heartbroken. probably sounds a bit sloppy from a bloke.
Related Information:
Tagged with: 13 years • bloke • doing the right thing
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!
Why? Men have feelings too, as much as women like to ignore that fact. As hard as it may seem…don’t let it consume your life…enjoy your kid’s childhood while you can. If you want, try to rekindle but don’t push it. Do nice things…don’t dwell too much on talking about getting back together with her…maybe if she sees that you’re handling it well and concerned about your child maybe it’ll make her realize that you really are a great father and could be a great husband too……just a thought.
Im sorry , but if you were my bud, id give you a good kick in the junk. that should straighten you up.
You can’t buy love. Love her as best you can and that is by putting her first. Remember women are different then men. Meet her emotional needs as well don’t just ask her to watch football with you. Find out her needs and make that a priority. But do it from the heart not just to get what you want.
You can start by doing things to show her you love her, pay more attention to her (not necessarily sexual). Do things that you would do if you loved her (even if you sometimes don’t feel like it).
Suggest marriage counseling to her & actually go. (This alone is a big step for a guy to take). If she won’t go, go alone. It’s the one way to keep this from happening again (whether with her or someoen else) is to see where the two of you let something as important as your marriage drift away.
Good luck!
It’s not easy to get love once you’ve lost it. If she’s not feeling it anymore just let her go. Sometimes you have to let the things/ones you love go just to see if they come back. If they don’t this is just another way you have to grow out of or into. Love hurts but it also heals. You have to love yourself and stop calling yourself a bloke.
KEEP YOUR HEAD UP…
It sound like she has put a lot of thought in this,for quite some time, I would say it is over, I know it is hard but I have been through the same thing, but I was married for 16 years, time heals all, and there is other woman out there trust me.
You can start by spending more time with her. Working hard for the money is good but its not good if it takes all your time away from the family. Its not about work, money, the or the house. Please try not to have resentment but show her appreciation. She will change but you must change first.
She can love you again. She (of course I’m assuming and no I won’t make an ass out of you or me)But what ever it was that made her love you and marry you in the beginning is what you need to get back to. Now I’m not saying "ack like you did 13 years ago", what I’m saying is you need to be exciting to her again. Have you stopped be exciting? If you enjoy seeing her laugh, smile, the way you two make love together, then get back to that. If it’s to much trouble then maybe you two have drifted apart. But if it’s not hard for you to do, then do it. Try this, for one weekend don’t be her husband she can count on, be a man that thinks she’s beautiful and you want to be with her. What would you do to get her phone number, or another chance to see her? Play with her. Get her to want to be with you. No one wants to be with someone who’s all work and no play.
Don’t give up!!! I am separated after 13 years and the easy thing to do is to give up. Now what to do is going to sound crazy. Let her have her space, and just like you refurbished your home, it is time to refurbish yourself. Whether it is counseling, working out, spiritually, whatever do what you have to do to make improvements. If she wants to be a part of this process then let her, but don’t force into anything she doesn’t want to do.
Every relationship experiences this and yours is no different. Where we make the mistake is trying to make a woman change the way they feel instead of understanding the way she feels. It’s ok to tell her you love her and you are willing to make changes. But say it once, and then go do it. The saying ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS is so true. Don’t let your heartache show and be there for your son.
Don’t make the mistake I made. I begged her to see that I had changed and I would say I love you so much that I felt that she thought I was fake. Since we split, we barely talk and she is currently corresponding with another man. I am truly heartbroken, but I am moving on. I don’t mean with another woman as of yet, but I gotta live.
I am not the only guy that has made this mistake. I am saying to you that you have to fix yourself without alienating your wife. It is a tough thing but it can be done.
Good Luck and I’ll pray for you
WT
Don’t give up just yet. Had a friend who’s wife was in an auto accident that left her without knowledge of her husband and wedding. He did as he had originally did, he asked her out on a date and started the courtship all over again from scratch.
Usually when your type of problem happens it is because there is too much routine and not enough romance (and I don’t mean just taking her to bed). You need to put some spice back into the marriage. The following are suggestions. Change them to suit your personality.
Now this can be hard for a bloke, but I bet if you went to her and knelt down (like guys do when proposing), looked in her eyes and said, I want you to know that I love you with all my heart and I am sorry if I have done something wrong to cause this and I want to ask if you would be willing to let me prove to you that we can have a great marriage.
Would you go out with me?
If she says yes, take her to her favorite restaurant and spoil her.
Next. After dinner speak softly and say I really want to make our marriage work and I am asking you to tell me what it is that I have done and what can I do to change it.
No marriage fails with out faults on both sides, but there are times when drastic measures must be taken. If you are brave enough to try to win her back, this sort of plan has a good chance. Taking her on a romantic weekend get-a-way may also help and give you both some space away from home so you can freely discuss your problems.
There is no guarantee it will work, but it has an excellent chance. Good luck mate