Comments on: I want to stay in my marriage, but how?

By: Happy-2

Happy-2 — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 04:51:59 +0000

You say yourself, "It’s probably too early." I agree. And I think your counselor(s) would also agree. Hang in there. You’re in a tough spot right now. Old sayings can be cold comfort, but sometimes it really is darkest before the dawn. Things have become really rough, and you haven’t helped them by cheating on your husband. However, with the counseling and the proactive approach to working on your marriage, you seem to have turned this thing around. It is going to take longer than you’d like to see the fruits of the work you’re doing, but hang in there.

By: Kristiane-Cubical ninja

Kristiane-Cubical ninja — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 04:51:59 +0000

Wow, I am sorry you two are going through this.

My suggestion is a possible trial seperation. He needs to establish his own identity again and you need to feel a bit free of all the burden. Not a permanent one, but just for a little while to get things back to some semblence of normal.

Good luck.

By: Tom C

Tom C — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 04:51:59 +0000

NO falling back into what you never got out of is impossible. your writing this proves you still love him , my guess he still loves you the distance developing quite well is from a lack on both parts of HEARTFELT communication , your desires and his . the love will show the path to choose. but don’t put spending the time together on your child. i got that guilt and it sucks.

By: loulu

loulu — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 04:51:59 +0000

Well you have certainly done your work to try to fix this. I am at a loss. I can only think that maybe you need to separate the parenting and spousal responsibilities. First, get him involved as a dad and talk, talk, talk. Once that is taking its course, spend a weekend away without the child and try to get your romantic feelings back. Pamper each other, be very loving and lots of contact…hold hands, pat and rub each other, etc. It is possible but it will take some dedication, which you seem to have. Best of luck ~

By: Rose

Rose — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 04:51:59 +0000

Yes you can fall in love again. I think what’s more important is you stay in the marriage because you need to honor your commitments and vows. Don’t destroy your little children lives because he isn’t perfect. You promised through sickness or health, better or worse. Right now is one of those sickness and worse part.

Find out exactly what your husband’s needs are then meet them daily without resentment. Let him know you’re always in his corner and his biggest supporter. Never make him feel less manly because he doesn’t perform as well as he did. Just that alone can do wonders in the bedroom.

Look, there’s nothing better out there then what you have right now.

Use your head and don’t feed off lustful emotions or romantic dreams that are unachievable.