Can my wife love me again?
Ok, I put out a question prior, and all of you people who I don’t know, are beautiful and thanks for the words of help. Bottom line is can you girls tell me if she can love me again. Remember i didn’t cheat on her, i dont abuse her and i dont put her down. I am just a easy going guy. Sure i know what pisses her off and im sure i have pressed her buttons but the big picture is to do anything to make the other happy. I am willing to do anything. Can she love me again. What do i need to do to get her there. Please tell me what she needs. i love her and my kids too much to give up. we are in counclling as well. With her mom being married 6 times i dont think its fair that she has been givin the life she has. I see her as a beautifull person but all she does is yell and scream. I want her to be happy and its not her falt that life didnt give her a good past. I feel i was put in her life because i where my heart on my sleave. I dont know whats its like to think negative. please help.
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Tagged with: big picture • bottom line • girls • heart • mom • sleave
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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only your wife can tell you what it is that she needs to love you again. you have to be prepared to deal with the fact that she may not be able to love you again and maybe you guys would be better off as friends for the kids sake. it could be that she has just fallen out of love with you especially since you haven’t cheated and you don’t abuse her. it could be that because of her past that she doesn’t know how to handle a good ,healthy relationship. maybe she needs to go to counseling on her own so that she can figure out how to love herself and then maybe she can love you. just remember that we cannot change others. we can only change ourselves and how we respond to others. good luck to you and your family.
if she married you im pretty sure she still loves you. just suprise her with roses, nice dinners, (if you live by a beach) go for a walk.
I think you need to ask your wife if she is willing to try, if she is willing then there is hope, but you need to know what she wants out of your marriage, sounds like she really doesn’t even want to try.
Wow, your such a sweet and caring guy. I would say in the middle of her screaming and shouting hug her and don’t let her go. Just keep hugging her and say to her that it’s okay, you still love her and you are not going to leave her … and someday she’ll believe you and not keep trying to drive you away. Tell her that she deserves to be happy and loved in spite of what she thinks she deserves that you are not giving up. Your going to stay and do whatever it takes until she can accept your love.
It sounds to me that she pushes you away because of something in her childhood that makes her believe she’s not worthy of love… she doesn’t trust it so she has to reject it before it rejects her.
You love her then do what a good man that loves any woman would do seek God you wont get the answers in counseling they tell you what you want to hear you need to let God lead you if she is not ready to give up the past and know that she has a good man than you have to make a big decision. To either stay until that light comes on in her head that she is safe now. or let her know that you love her and give her space God gives us all our own hearts and guess What? You are only able to fix yours.
I know this isn’t what you’re looking for but if you and your wife want to make this marriage work you’re going to need some help.
It’s not working with you trying to fix it yourself.
Go to someone who knows what they’re doing and can get you guys back on track…..see a marriage counselor.
Yeah. I second the "roses and dinner" idea by muddin…earlier. In a few words: help your wife relax. Women get stressed out from housework etc. You seem like a nice guy.
You can’t MAKE someone love you…You can’t MAKE you wife wish to love you….. People have to have the capacity to love, and only then can the GIVE love. The capacity to love resides in one’s background… children who have been poorly treated, abandoned or felt as if they had been abandoned are poor candidates for happy marriage partners…. As an example, If you were raised in a trailer, and knew the biggest thing in your parent’s life was a huge, fancy car, you aren’t very likely to feel any need when you became an adult to spend money to keep your teeth healthy, keep a nice house, or even know what a happy marriage is…. If a loving relationship in the parent’s marriage is not part of one’s experiences, then one hs nothing to draw on in one’s own life….unfortunately, we pattern our lives after the ones we have already lead. If all she does is yell and scream, then this was the way she was brought up — with yelling and screaming as her environment….It is the only thing she knows, and she learned it from her background, and now uses it as the only coping style with which she is familiar. If she yells and screams, she never learned to negotiate her wishes or needs — she saw that yelling more or less worked in her houshold as a child, so of course that is now what she uses. Another way to put it, it is as if the only color she has even seen as a child is red. She would have no way of relating to blue as a adult. Red is the only color she knows, red is the only color she would be able to use.
It is understood, here that you just want to be with a nice lady, in a loving relationship, in a trusting, loving marriage, and to be able to provide a positive home for your children…. and good that you and she are in counseling. Some of the old sayings do indeed apply —"As is the sapling, so grows the tree" As a "sapling, she was bent. Hopefully, counseling will be the "braces" that will straighten her and your marriage into a loving partnership…. Good that you are trying…. there is nothing more wonderful than to fall asleep in the arms of the one you love, and the one who loves you….and I can think of nothing worse than to be in a miserable marriage…She had no idea what a neat guy you are inside, hon. Hope the best for you.