How can i get my ex husband to love me again?
We are best friends, no kids, rely on each other a lot, and he says he still finds me attractive. Both of our hearts are still hurting from the split (it was due to horrible communication and fighting.) I know he still has feelings for me but just isn’t in love. What can i do?
He knows that i still love him, but he is a man of much pride and doesn’t like to show weakness or regret. We talk daily and just bought a house together for investment. He is currently trying to fill his lonely void by wanting to date, but he has always said that my friendship will always be priority. I know his heart is still not ready to open to me because it was hurt for so long. It has to do with the death of my father and the depression that followed. It tore us apart and instead of dealing with it, it grew and grew.
He has also said that he will never rule out the possibility of us getting back together. I know we need to have a clean slate and learn to trust again.
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Tagged with: best friends • clean slate • depression • feelings • friendship • heart • hearts • love • pride • priority
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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Keep improving yourself, don’t focus on him (people like to DO the chasing, not be chased), and become someone he would like to live with again. Of course, he sees you attractive, but that doesn’t make a marriage; even friends can be attractive.
Become stronger, and don’t lean on him or make him think you can’t stand alone. Take classes to learn new things and focus on something besides getting him back. If he wants you back, it will be because you are different, not the same person he left.
After my husband and I divorced, he called later and said he made a big mistake. But I had moved on, started college, and had a life plan for me. His reasons for leaving hadn’t changed, he hadn’t changed, but I did. He is now on his 5th wife (I was no. 2) and still wanting someone (anyone) to take care of him.
Only you can make a choice for your life, but don’t include him if he isn’t including you in his. Just improve, learn, grow and enjoy life; change your focus, and then let go and let God. If it is to be, it will happen; if not you haven’t lost a thing, but gained everything. And you will still have him as a friend.
Oh Jesus….just sleep with him and be done with it. that’s what you both want anyway. You obviously could screw one another to contentment but the moment you each opened your mouths (other than for sex) the gloves came off.
You cannot make someone love you. It is sad but true.
Intimacy / sex is usually the fastest way to a mans heart.
With enthusiasm & no inhibitions on your part.
Just keep being friends and if it’s supposed to work out it will…. Have you let him know that you are still in love with him? I think you probably should. I would do it in a non-confrontational way and tell him that you just want him to know and that if he doesn’t feel the same way you don’t want that to hurt your current relationship because you value him being in your life. Just be super careful – you could be setting yourself up to get hurt (i.e. if he’s ready to start seeing other people)
Go to his house wearing a trenchcoat & heels. Flash, ask if you can come in. The rest is up to you.
There is a reason that the two of you guys are exs and you need to remember that. Now I am all about making things work but sometimes that just doesn’t happen. If your ready either you both work on it, or leave it alone and walk away. But only you know what is in your heart.
You are probably ok as a friend, but a bitch to live with. Move on, sounds like he has.
did you guys try going to a counselor a preacher he may not feel the achey feeling like new love and people should not expect that daily and even if that is not there some thing more is there respect compassion concern friendship if you guy can get help in dealing with commu
Probably once you move on and get a new guy, he’s going to magically come back and love you. Annoying I know!!
Sounds like once burned,twice shy .He may not want to travel that path again .He says he finds you attractive(maybe just sexual attraction) but that doesn’t mean he wants to get involved again.
If there is any feelings left on his part ,give him time.Be patient. If nothing happens in a few months , move on with your life
Honey it is sad but true that sometimes people who love each other just can not live with each other.
One of the other posters asked if you have told him your still in love with him. She recommended that you tell him that. So do I.
You may find that he still loves you and wants to be part of your life. He may say he is not in love with you, but the fact that he admits to having feelings for you is just a defense mechanism.
So go girl and talk to him and let him know how you feel…you may be surprised.
You can’t bring him back if the things that drove you apart are still there.
You’ve outlined what the problems were. So I think your best shot is to, at least on your end, communicate better (with everybody), and stop fighting the pointless fights.
He still probably won’t come back — sometimes a bad history can spoil everything — but at least by practicing now, you may be able to do better next time.
1st question that needs to be asked is who broke up with who. Did you or did he. If you started & went through the divorce– it may never happen. He might just feel like being friends is where you two are & will always be. He might be great friends now with you but what happens when someone new shows up in his life. He already knows where marriage went with you and how it ended up. You divorced him.
Now, if he started the divorce & went through with it – that a huge step for anyone. That means he knows you were married and chose to get a divorce. Red flag red flag should be going up.
In the end, lots of patience and how long will you be willing to wait for him to come around to the idea of round 2.
Sorry to tell you but you can’t make a person love you.You can try though.