I don’t know if my story would be helpful to you. I have been married for 35 years, About 20 yrs ago I found out that my husband cheated on me with my best friend and his best friend’s wife. These things took place early in our marriage. Once when I was so much in love and trusted him, another one, when I was away from him. As I had two very young children, inexperienced in the US without any job and guidance, and because he was remorseful, I decided to forgive and forget. But after 17 yrs from that time, he started another affair which I jut found out. This time I can’t take anymore.

In your husband’s case, its one night fling, and he is remorseful and wants to go to counseling which means he wants to work hard to keep the relationship. Considering everything, you can give him another chance but keep your eyes open. Its very hard to reestablish the love and trust after one cheats. Good luck to you.

And now? Reality is smacking him in the face and he’s panicked….so, now all of a sudden….he says he never did anything.

This is WORSE than if he were to simply admit: yes, I cheated. I’m sorry, can we start over?

For him to stand before you and tell you …. after all you witnessed for yourself and your own gut feeling…..that nothing happened….

A married man with a child does not have innocent slumber parties with a friend and a bunch of women ….yeah, right.

Ant has shown you that he doesn’t respect you or your marriage, and your husband hangs out with that type of person? = you are who you hang out with. if you are a healthy minded, mature married male or female, you will not choose cheaters for friends who ask you about having sex with others while you are married. …..

Your husband is scared of reality now. The ball is in your court and he has lost his. = he will now tell you anything to keep you docile and at home so he can keep his married life and have his jolly life (cause, honey, if he hasn’t had the guts to come clean now….what do you think is in store for you if you stay with a guy like him? = more lies)

I say go on with your divorce and get your new life in order. You and your little girl deserve WAY better than to be treated like excess baggage.

He needs time…the rest of his life…to grow up and mature enough to realize that he has no right to treat his marriage like it’s just a piece of paper and his family like they don’t matter as much as his buddy Ant does.

I’d let him go to Ant and let them be happy bachelors together.

I had a friend who’s husband cheated on her repeatedly. She remained in denial for several miserable years until finally she decided she had enough. It was when one of his co-workers called her to tell her that he’s been seeing so-and-so and so-and-so….and….

She has since divorced and has found a wonderful man who treats her like the good person she is.

Like her, you’ll find someone in time, who will give you the respect you deserve.

You sound like a very level-headed person who wants to weigh her options before making a commitment of stay or go, and that is good that you’re not flying off the handle toward either direction.

But I think you’re on a sinking ship with this guy, and if you stay, he’ll only pull you under. Are you willing to give him more time and more years of your life at this point? Even when he’s clearly lying to your face? Or are you going to go ahead and take the step toward the next chapter in your life?

Guess it’s obvious where my opinion is, huh? I just can’t stomach lying cheats who ruin their marriage because they’re not secure enough in themselves or mature enough or man enough to own up to the responsibilities they accepted when they put on a wedding ring and said, I do.

Good Luck. I truly wish you well.

hope u get thru this soon. take care…we can only take care of things which is in ‘our’ hand. not in anyone else. And even then we can do mistakes as well, as we are just human.