How do you get your husband to fall in love with you again?
My husband and I have been together for 14 years. We were highschool swethearts and had the perfect relationship. Over the years, he has cheated on me once for a period of 6 months during my pregnancy. He has also contacted and ex girlfriend to see if there was anything there. He has also met girls online. He came out to me and told me that he does not know if he loves me anymore, and the reason why he cheats is because he has no feeling for me anymore. he says he thinks there may be someone else out there that can give him tingles. How do I fix my marriage, and bring the spark back in it? He is willing to work on it, but I dont know what to do to make hin fall in love with me. I think he may be going through a midlife crisis, and is re-evaluating his life. Please if anyone knows how to re vamp a relationship, tell me.
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Tagged with: ex girlfriend • girls • love • marriage • midlife crisis • pregnancy • relationship • vamp
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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14 yrs is a long time – highschool sweethearts too. It sounds like you are still in love with him, but he is wavering a bit. It sounds like it could go either way, but if you are both willing to give it a try, then give it a really good try!
I believe that one of the best ways to help a troubled marriage is.. gradually. Try a lot of things all at once & you will catch the other person off guard, they will probably reject your advances (mainly because they weren’t ready for them) & you’ll be no better off.
Start by doing those little things that make a relationship really enjoyable. Touch him when you are talking – not sexually, but just on the hand or arm. Touch is a very special thing and helps bring closeness. Speak nicely to him. Compliment him. Praise him when he does something good or does something well. Let him know by your actions that you think he is sexy or handsome or however you would describe him. Gently rub his butt when you stand next to him. Give him a little shoulder massage when you can get behind the seat he is sitting on. Sit close to him while watching tv, put your hand on his leg – up high, and every so often just brush his member, but do it casually to promote interest.
Treat him the way you would like to be treated. Always think the best of him. Do things together, not separately. Respect him. TELL him you love him – everyday. Look for the good things he does, not the bad. Do all those little things that make people happy. We know people who use http://www.bringbackthespark.com for lots of great ideas for things to do and say, to keep their marriage fresh and alive – they have a section for healthy relationships that want to stay that way, as well as those that are in a rut. It costs so little, yet can make such a difference! Do the things they suggest, and you should stay in sync with your husband, and you will probably find he will do the same nice things for you….happy couple, happy marriage. Remember to be there for each other. Remember too that males and females think differently – it stems from cave man days. His way of thinking isn’t wrong, it’s just different to yours. Your acceptance and appreciation of that will help your marriage no end. Women like to talk about issues, men internalise them.
Plan time for each other on a daily basis to keep the spark of passion from going out, and to get it back if you have lost it. Everyone has the same 24 hours in a day and the couples that last are the ones that take time for each other and don’t make excuses. This maybe after the kids are in bed. If they are late to bed, make some changes to their bedtime – your relationship is too important.
If you get time by yourselves, do you hold his hand? Do you kiss him for no reason, or to just say “I love you”. Do you tell him you love him – do it, daily. When the kids are in bed…lingerie? http://www.pleasurestate.com has great lingerie.
Try a massage night. An all over nude massage (both of you) PRE-PLANNED for say Friday night promotes anticipation and is great fun on the night. Use lots of oil, lie on towels to stop any staining, and go for it – sex is a byproduct of all the fun. Make sure he massages you first – men can lose interest after cu*ming due to loss of a chemical when ejaculating, it just happens. Let him do all the interesting bits.
Try these things gradually (not all at once!!) and you should be fine. Good luck.
Edit:
By the way, after many years of married life, WE still have that "tingling" feeling. I am sure you can both get it again!
There’s really nothing you can do as you can’t control anyone’s feelings. I will say that if you husband has based his marriage to you on feeling "tingles", he never understood what REAL love and marriage is in the first place.
In marriage you don’t base you relationship on having that "in love" feeling but on a foundation of "real love". Feelings change from moment to moment. That being said, a person who allows their feelings to control their decision is unstable and immature.
Also, a man who cheats on a woman (who is also his wife, no less) while she’s is carrying HIS child is a selfish and despicable human being.
Also, a marriage can only be fixed if both parties are willing. He, apparently, is not willing. You can’t do it alone.
The best thing you can do is divorce him and make yourself available to receive REAL love from someone who really wants to give it to you. Think more highly of yourself, sweetheart. You deserve the VERY BEST!
You don’t, Its over , sorry.
Find a good sex therapist and relationship counselor and see what they can offer your relationship.
I had every intention of giving you some hints on bringing back the romance, but after reading about your marriage I want to SCREAM. I can understand you wanting to save your marriage, but you aren’t the problem here . The a#* hole you are married to is the problem. He should be writing the question of how to get YOU to fall in love him. He needs help and you need some self confidence.
Get counseling, try to get him some help if you still want to be married to him, but do NOT act like you have done something wrong.
He was unfaithful in the past, has contacted other women repeatedly, and says he doesn’t love you. I think it should go without saying that he isn’t worth any effort wouldn’t you? Unless you consider yourself so desperate that you couldn’t find another man in this whole wide world I would give him his travel papers. FYI: a man that truly loves his wife would never ever consider being unfaithful. He may have been in lust with you, but it sure as he** wasn’t love. You cannot make someone love you. It is something that happens naturally. Good luck with what you decide to do, but a continued life with him will be a life with heartache. When trust is broken in a marriage – it is over!
Your husband isn’t worth your time and effort in my personal opinion.
You can’t MAKE someone love you….he either does or he doesn’t and your husband sounds like he doesn’t love or respect you or your marriage.
Well first of all I think that you need to go away a couple of days & really ask yourself if this marriage is worth saving.
I dont know you, but I know that you deserve better then that.
But here’s some of my ideas:
Try doing little things for him. Like leaving love notes places were you know that he’ll find them. Getting up on weekends & cooking him breakfast (like heartshaped pancakes). And serving it to him in bed.
My husband liked my short hair in high-school, when we first started dating. And over the years I kinda let my hair go, & it really grew. So one day I went & got it cut & he came home (it was a surprise) & he loved it!
And we also started going away for the week like every other month or something. Just so we can have some time to our selfs! Even if it’s just going an hour up the road & getting a hotel room!
I hope this helps! And I hope things get better for you!
i disagree with these scornful women from above. there is something you can do about it. you can change a mans feelings towards you. do you appreciate the tings he does for you? do you admire him not with words but true feelings? let him know with your actions. tell him all of the things he does right. men are easily controlled if they are pushed by what they do right. for instance if you say and mean things such as { wow you are wonderful I’m so lucky to have you as a provider for me and i know i don t tell you enough but you are truly wonderful and that makes me so attracted to you} say things along those lines and his heart will swell with pride happiness and his mental feelings of being great wont allow him to feel depressed or look else where for love. combine that with open minded fun in the bedroom. why would any man ever leave or even look else where. just be aware don’t look down on him and feel ashamed of him that is when the tingly feelings from other women will be allowed into his heart and that’s where the affairs come from. if he is a nice guy these suggestions will work.