How can you fall in love with your spouse again?
Right now I feel distant from her and is not that we’ve done anything wrong like having affairs, or lying etc. it’s just that it doesn’t feel the same as before I know that she loves me to death but honestly I don’t and I don’t want to tell her anything cause she doesn’t deserved to get hurt, sometimes I feel like giving up and split but I’m just here waiting for something to happen, like falling in love again with my wife.
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Tagged with: falling in love
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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Waiting? Why wait bring her home some flowers or take her out on the town. Mix it up and shake it up. Relationships need to be cultivated in order to grow. You are half of the problem and half of the solution. Be more proactive my friend!
this is the first step toward a messed up relationship and even divorce.
if you can’t communicate, sit down and discuss your feelings, then what is the use?
perhaps you could talk with her, and ask her if you can both work on bringing a spark back into your relationship?
if nothing else, consider going to therapy yourself, to explore your feelings and to receive a little guidance about what you can do to make things better.
take care.
If you REALLY don’t, I don’t know what to tell you.
I was going to say that you probably still do love her, but the tingle and excitment is gone. It’s up to YOU to bring that back (you being whoever feels the tingle is gone).
Your efforts will be rewarded. It will take time. It’s worth it. Waiting for something to happen is not going to work.
tey being romantic
Start by realizing that feelings follow actions.
Try showing affection and doing some fun things together. Get some books on how to put the romance back into your relationship.
do something spontaneous and unexpected, like taking her somewhere on a romantic trip. You have to spark that flame again. Sometimes people get in a funk of the normal day in-and-out routine and forget what kind of fire there lifes used to have together. If that does not change how you feel, well, you are lying to her and doing her even more of a disservice if you can’t tell her how you really feel about her. She deserves love which you are unable to give back. That’s not right. Perhaps marriage counseling will get everything out in the open.
Every marriage has periods like this…where it feels like you’re rooming with a stranger instead of your soul mate. Try to remember all the wonderful things about her that made you want to "settle down" with her…and remember…marriage is "settling down" but it doesn’t mean getting stale. Do some of the things you used to do. Revisit some of the places you used to visit. I don’t know how long you’ve been together or if you have kids or money problems, etc… but all of these can be a drain on the "passion". I wish you luck, Dude. Don’t give up! Your desire to "fall in love again" shows that you have what it takes to make your marriage work.
There are some things you can do to reconnect…my wife and I will sometimes rent a local hotel room with two beds. We go to the room, TV stays off, we sit on opposite beds and just talk to each other, not try to reslove any problems, just talk about good memories, tell each other the great things about each other, eventually we end up snuggling and talking. BTW the great sex part will follow. The important thing to do is set some time apart from the everyday responsibilities, the kids, the jobs, the TV, and just BE.
Remember the things you did that made you happy when you were dating and first married and then do those things now. Call her on the phone and ask for a date (and then plan it yourself and make it special (a fancy restaurant and then a movie). Put a note in her pocketbook or on her dresser or mirror telling her you love her or are thinking of her (or you like it when she wears that white teddy or whatever). Take a walk in the local park and appreciate the wildlife and nature, hold hands and let her rest her head on your shoulder, and pack a picnic lunch. Give her a hot oil massage on night after she’s had a hard day (warm baby oil on the stove or in the microwave) and ask her to return the favor the next night for you. Massage her feet while she’s watching tv (and maybe she’ll do the same one day while you’re watching the big game). Take her away to an intimate bed and breakfast at a scenic location and just relax together. Good luck and may God Bless your marriage all over again.
Open up, communicate with her. Go out once a week on a date. If you have kids, drop them at moms. Go for couples therapy. Relationships need WORK and ATTENTION. They don’t just happen. Love is a decision. I speak from experience (married 29 years and put in ALOT of work)
TRY HARDER. Just because you’ve lost the feeling doesnt mean you cant get it back. Take her somewhere special where you can truly rekindle the emotions you felt once before. Its not hard, you just have to TRY.
Well, you’re in a rut. Get out of it and do something to make life more spontaneous and exciting. Don’t just wait for the opportunity to happen – do something to make it happen. Get some excitement in your life, before it arrives in the shape of another woman.
You can do something, you know, to save your marriage.
i wish i knew that answer myself. going thru that with hubby, i guess u cant sit around and wait be pro-active in the situation and try some things and then if it doesnt work you will need to answer another question. good luck to you i really do mean that.
try taking a romantic vacation, if she works get home early and have a nice dinner with candles waiting for her. you never know she might feel the same way you do.when we are with someone for a long time we tend to lose that passion that was there at the beginning, its up to both of you to keep it alive, talk to her about how you feel, and get some counseling
good luck.
It may not be that you don’t love your wife. You could just be bored with life. When’s the last time you took a trip, or did something you really wanted to do? Why don’t you and your wife plan something like that? Leave the kids at home and get away for a while. You sound like a guy who has worked hard and played by the rules. Both you and your wife are probably good people all around. Give yourselves a break. Plan something great, even if it’s an in-town weekend at a quality hotel–plush room with a view, dinner for two, a great live show, and the two of you together.
We all get tired sometimes, even when nothing has happened to make us tired. You sound completely burned out. Before you throw in the towel, at least try the weekend thing. In the mean time, accept the fact that you’re burned out and give yourself some well needed rest. I sincerely wish you well.
Waw!!! everything you said its just like what happend to me… let me tell you something.. Buy this Book: Five Languages of Love.. its Perfect wonderfull It changed my marriage…
Our relationship with our spouse is not just sex… there is much involved… i know it will really make a difference..
Try it.. I did it for me.. Let me know how you are doing ok?
Karen
A friend sent me this:
No one falls in love by choice, it is by CHANCE.
No one stays in love by chance, it is by WORK
And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by CHOICE.
She knows hubby and I are going thru a hard time lately, it hit home with me, hope it helps you.