What do we need to do to prepare for parenthood?
How much money do I need to save, what kind of insurance should I have, what health issues do I need to work out, etc. And most importantly, what kinds of questions do we need to talk about first? There’s all kinds of books preparing people for marriage, but for parenthood – there’s so little!
I’m also interested in books of questions for couples preparing for childhood, like approaches to discipline, money, friends, school, religion, etc.
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Tagged with: friends school • health issues • how much money • insurance • marriage • parenthood • questions for couples • religion
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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Being a parent is the hardest job you will ever take on. No one can really prepare you for how hard it really is. Think hard about the time, energy, money and sacrifice that you will have to put into this very important work.
First you need to consider why you wish to have children. Do you think this will help a rocky relationship? Do you think a child will love you? Do you want to have something of your own? Are you looking to fill a void? Do you feel you have something to give? Do you think you could do a better job than your parents did? Then consider if your expectations are realistic.
Then look at your relationship and consider the impact the addition of a child will have on you as a couple? How do you, as a couple, handle problems? Children will magnify any problems in the relationship. What kind of parents do you think you will be?
Potential parents should discuss how they were parented and how they want to parent. Topics such as religion, money, holidays, traditions, family obligations, sports, hobbies, clubs, dating, sexuality, health care, and schooling should be discussed and agreed upon.
Finish your own childhood before becoming responsible for another. Raising children takes a good long time. If you put your goals and dreams on hold for parenthood willl you resent it?
How much money you will need is hard to figure. You should have family health coverage that will include the pregnancy and cover the child after it is born. You need to be able to afford decent housing, clothing, food, furniture, for yourselves as well as the child. You need to put money away for the unpredictable things that wil come up. Then you need to look at your answers to the above questions to determine how much money you will need to be the kind of parents you want to be.
Look at your family history. What health issues run in the family? Are there any genetic conditions in your background? Any mental health issues that could be passed down? What developmental issues run in the family such as speech problems, behavioral issues, and or learning disabilities
Learn about child development. The more you know about the progression of development the better you will be able to handle the issues that come up. You may discover things you are not prepared to handle.
Get as healthy as you can. Eat healthy foods and take vitamins. More and more birth defects are shown to be due to specific vitamin deficiency. The health of both parents can influence the outcome of pregnancy.
Look at your future earning power. Can you expect your salary to grow? Will someone be staying home to care for the child? How will that affect your careers?
Parenting is quite an adventure. You never know what you are going to get, but you can be sure that there will be surprises.
I don’t think any one can be financially ready for a child unless your a millionaire. For insurance you can get like Blue Shield or Regance something you can afford. Go to your local library and I am sure you can find tons of books on preparing for a baby, or even ask your doc for some info.
actually there are lots of books out there, I like "the unofficial guide to having a baby". From Borders or Barns and Noble. just browse the pregnancy books one day at your local book store. As for how much to save, here’s a website listing the typical casts of having a baby: http://www.emsc.nysed.gov/nysatl/FCS/Baby/html/baby7.html
If you are already pregnant, you could see if you qualify for pregnancy only Medicare, if not check into the maternity card:
http://www.maternitycard.net/enrollb.asp
If you are not yet pregnant, make sure you insurance has maternity benefits and that you can deliver where you want.
And of course if you are planning on getting pregnant or are newly pregnant, don’t smoke, drink blah blah blah, you know all that. But somethings you might not know are that Preeclampsia and Gestational diabetes are the most common conditions of pregnancy, affecting more then 1 in 8 women’s pregnancies. Eating at 80 grams of protien a day is said to help prevent preeclampsia, and maintaining even blood sugars can help prevent diabetes. Take your folic acid early in pregnancy, and extra calcium, sometimes there’s not enough in prenatal vitamins.
If you are already pregnant, decide how you want to deliver (what do you picture as your ideal birth) and then visit the hospitals/birth centers available to you and ask questions. Having a bad birth experience scars you for life, do your homework.
Talk with your partner about big issues like circumcision and where will baby sleep, you may be suprised to discover that they have totally different ideas.
The two books that help the most for my wife and I was "What to expect when your expecting" and "What to expect the first years"