How Do I save my marriage?
Three months ago, my wife and I got married. We were doing just fine. Until she started stripping. I wasn’t ok with it, but she started doing it with a friend. I was never ok with it, but I accepted it because I love my wife more than anything in this world. And it was her decision. But a little over two weeks ago, she had a break down after telling her dad what she was doing. She started blaming me for her stripping because of where I work. I dont make enough money where I work to comfortably support us. Which is why she started stripping. Before we got married, I had promised her I’d get a new job. But I kept putting it off. I had every intention of getting a new job, but I just put it off. And that happened a couple of times. This time, she left. She is staying at a friends house and has been ever since. Ive changed the way I do things. I use to be lazy, but Ive changed that. Im taking resposibility and doing things that I should have done a long time ago. I sold my truck, so 300$ a month goes back into our pockets. Ive been constantly been looking for a job. Got a couple different options coming up. one possibly with the school system. She wont come home because she is afraid I’ll quit searching for a job. And she doesnt trust me when I tell her that I promise to do everything I say im going to do. But after what Ive done, can you blame her? Saturday, she talked to me and said, she wanted an Anullment. But a couple hours later, she tells me that she is going to hold off on the anullement because she loves me. And I know she does. She said dont call or txt her. She’ll call me. She called me after 3 days. Today. She said she was calling to hear my voice and to see how the job search was going. ive been looking for a Fulltime job that pays more than minimum wage for over 2 weeks now. Its hard to find somthing like that. And believe me, ive been looking as hard as I can. I have a few connections and maybe able to get a job with the School System here as a Custodial/Maintanence engineer. I guess you could say, Janitor. Im in college but they are all online classes. Thank god. But i cant convince her to come home and let me show her how much ive changed. And im afraid that if I cant get this job fast, she’ll get tired and leave for good. I love my wife. I know ive made some mistakes in the past. But I am human. And i want to make up for all that. But How can I show her if she isnt home and I cant call her? Any suggestions?
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Tagged with: anullment • anything in this world • couple hours • cust • dad • enough money • fulltime job • intention • job search • long time • looking for a job • marriage • minimum wage • Money Work • new job • pockets • Promise • searching for a job • somthing • Stripping • three months
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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Dude, your not responsible for her becoming a stripper. Quite frankly if she wanted to help pay the bills there were a billion other jobs she could have done. And your not responsible for the breakdown.
Quite frankly with the way this woman acted and is acting. I’d continue to look to better myself as you are doing and get myself another job, go ahead and file for the divorce and move on with your life and find another woman. Be thankful you didnt have any kids with her.
And quite honestly if you had sex with her after she became a stripper, i’d go get myself tested for any and all STD’s to make sure she didnt bring home a little present for you. It’s very likely that she has had more then a few sexual encounters with other men during her time at the strip clubs.
I suggest you get off your butt and prove to her you are going to make a living for her.Show her you are going to care for her.Don’t take a job and then quit as soon as she comes back as most men do.That will only drive her away further.You are going to have to give her proof you have changed.Saying and doing are two different things.Good luck.
You can’t. If he doesn’t want it and you do, and you can’t save. Marriage is a joint venture, both have to want it.
Basically your wife left you because you don’t make enough money – you call that ‘love’?!?
Let her get the annullment – you won’t always be a janitor, just take it for now if it will allow you to study and go to school to better yourself.
Things won’t always be the way they are now – but they will for HER.
YOU are the one who’s going places and whose life will get better.
A stripper’s lifestyle is not that great – what kind of future does she have?!?
She might be making good money now, but so what? That’s just money – what about her self-respect?!?
I’ll tell you what happened here – she made a bad, BAD mistake to start stripping, her dad got mad at her about it, and she made her bad mistake ALL YOUR FAULT.
Well, that’s a bunch of crap, it’s NOT all your fault, it’s all HER fault, she’s the one who decided to start stripping, and she refuses to take responsibility for her actions.
Let her go. She’s acting like a money-grubbing whore. Oh you say that she’s not sleeping with other men well trust me, it won’t take long for that to take place, especially if there’s any money in it for her. Sheesh.
YOU DESERVE BETTER.
The best way you can show her how much you care is to get another job. Tell her that you won’t push her to come home until the first day of your new job.
On the first day of your new job, ask her if she’ll move back in while you’re at work. Won’t that be great, coming home with her there?? Keep picturing that in order to motivate yourself to keep looking. I know the job search can be frustrating, so keep thinking about that day, and you’ll make it.
Deeds Speak Louder than Words, and in your case you have spoken too many times and not followed through. Now your only option is to make an honest effort, get a real job and prove to her that you are man enough to handle the responsibility. While I do not agree with her becoming a stripper, it is not for me to judge. However I guarantee you no girlfriend or wife of mine would ever be allowed to participate in this type of activity. You are young, and you have your whole life ahead of you, continue taking your courses but get that job and become a reliable, stable husband/man. Over my lifetime I have had many professions, there are some I had absolutely no experience in, but I compensated for lack of knowledge by being the hardest worker they had, never late for work, never missing a day, accepting all the overtime and willing to do the dirtiest jobs and doing them well. I was told a little thing 40 years ago by a wise man, he told me that you can be up to your nose shovelling manure, but at the end of the day it all washes off….I took jobs that I thought beneath me, but I had an obligation to my family and a responsibility, trust me they did not judge me or how I earned the money that fed them, they just knew I worked to care for them.
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