I’ve been called a weak wife and a strong wife by some because I’m trying to save broken marriage. Opinion pls?
My Husband comes and goes to explore other relationships and right now were off for the past year. Off means he only acts as good father to our children and not a husband to me.
My choice is to work through the broken marriage for our children and not quickly divorce. Primarily because he is a great father active in their life.
Why am I viewed positively as a strong wife by some and negatively and a weak woman by others because I don’t want to divorce my cheating husband? He always come back.
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Tagged with: broken marriage • cheating husband • Children Divorce • marriage • relationships • woman
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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You are strong for doing what’s best for your children.
You are weak for being a doormat for your cheating husband.
Both are true at the same time.
Perhaps I missed something here…but what is the question.
Ask Hillary Clinton!
he will always come back…and always cheat because you let him.
Quit being a doormat and dump his @ss.
It depends on how people view your situation.
You’re a strong MOTHER because you’re trying to do what you think is best for your children though it hurts you.
You’re a "weak" WOMAN because you’re letting this man walk all over you.
Strong because you’re willing to work at fixing the marriage.
Weak because you can’t/won’t admit to yourself that he’s a serial cheater that doesn’t respect you.
A second chance is admirable. A third or more chances is a lack of self-esteem on your part.
You are a weak wife, This behavior is not good for your children. It will teach boys how to assholes to the women in their lives and teach daughters, to be accepting of this behavior. needless to say what is it doing for you besides breaking your spirit and self-esteem.
Lots of people have strong opinions about cheating and how to deal with it. People who call you weak may think that you are allowing your husband to take advantage of you and that you should stand up for yourself. People who call you strong may believe that the most important thing is keeping a family together, so by staying with him you’re doing what’s right in their book.
Personally, I wouldn’t put up with a cheating partner. People can be divorced and still be good parents and be active in their children’s lives. If your husband openly has affairs and shows no willingness to change, I don’t see what there is to work through. A divorce is hard on kids, but so is knowing that your parents don’t love each other.
All that said, I’m not saying you should get a divorce. Do what you think is right, but remember that your own happiness is important too.
Well, I for one would be of the opinion of you are acting weak, needy almost.
First you say that your husband comes and goes exploring other relationships. The foundation and basis of a marriage is that it’s a 50/50 partnership between you and one person for the rest of your life, not you and whoever your husband decides to try for the flavor of the month, while you wait for him to return.
Being a good father doesn’t necessarily mean that you should remain in the marriage. What do you think makes more of a negative impact on your children? That their father treats their mother like a piece of dirt and goes off with the flavor of the month or treats her like he should, like a princess and his center of love and attention? Trust me, children learn how to treat relationships from their parents.
Your self esteem is taking a huge hit on this one and the role model he’s providing for your children is a horrible one that should be nipped in the butt as soon as possible.
Good luck!
Certainly you are both strong and weak. You are strong for putting up with his behavior, and weak for allowing it to continue. If he is a good father, he would set a better example for his children, and don’t tell me they don’t know of his infidelity, they do! They are your obvious concern, so take charge and give them the tools to know how to handle a bad relationship. GET OUT of the bad one and find a good one that sets an example for them to live by. There is never a reason to stay with a man who continues to have relationships outside of the marriage
It’s not that black and white. I would say that you are a medium wife. You should be commended for trying to stick it out, but on the other hand, you need to be aware of what your actions teach your children, no matter how old they are. You daughters will learn to allow a man to disrespect them, and they may believe that they are not worth a man committing to or staying faithful to. Your sons will grow up to think that their father’s behavior is ideal, and they will go on to hurt other innocent young women.
I think it is a much stronger position to leave. You would be asserting yourself in a manner that would show the extent of your strength. Staying is remaining weak and complacent, allowing a man to use you when he needs you and toss u away when he’s finished.
You are combining two different subjects:
FIRST: He is a good father
NEXT: He is a lousy husband
That being said here is what I think others say about you on the two totally different areas of your life:
FIRST: You are a strong MOTHER
NEXT: You are a weak WIFE
You are viewed by some as a strong woman because it takes a lot of courage and strength to do what you are doing. People look at you and see a woman who is willing to look past her husbands infidelities for her family’s sake. They see a woman who is trying her best to fix her marriage because of her strong love for her husband. They also look at you and wish they could probably be you and forget what your husband has done and still look at the good in him and in your relationship.
But some also view you as weak because your husband has cheated and they do not understand why you still want to be with him after he has been unfaithful to you. They also look at it like you clearly have NO respect from your husband but it seems like you would bow down to his every word. They probably also think that he will never change and will never be faithful. But that is for him to decide.
Hope this helped. Please vote me for best answer.
I agree with Happy. Your actions are one and both in the same. You’re willing to tolerate your husband’s disrespect for the sake of your marriage and your children. But, in tolerating that, you’re allowing your husband to walk all over you and lose respect for you as a person.
I know couples who live as you’re describing. They live together in the same house as a family for the sake of their children but live totally separate lives and see whomever they want. No one is sitting around and waiting for the other to decide when they’ll want to be married in fact and truth again. They get along as one big happy family. The wife (my friend) and her husband get along great as friends and parents but nothing more. They protect each other. They don’t fight or argue. They don’t get jealous over what the other is doing and they’re totally honest with each other about what they’re doing. Most of all, they communicate very well and compromise a great deal. I don’t know if the arrangement would work if the kids were younger, they’re 15 and 12. But the kids seems to do better in a seemingly dysfuctional situation where everybody’s happy than some kids I’ve seen with parents who’re together but only pretending to be happy.
JC! Your husband is cheating on you constantly? How can you be happy like that? You both are suppose to be sucking the souls out of each other, by loving each other and making love to each other.
you staying in the relationship shows your childeren boy and girl… that its ok to cheat and lie , and its ok to accept it … you could get some god awful disease AJAX can’t wash off , or some crazy obsessed physco chick whose in love with him all mad because hes married to you , and being the fact that hes unfaithul and multiple partners you probably could obtain physical joint custody … he can still be a good dad , but no longer your husband you deserve better …
Your kids will see you as strong, because you Tried to save the marriage.
But if he’s a serial cheater, then they’ll see you as weak, with low self esteem. I know you don’t want to put them through the heartache of divorce, But, it’s worse to live in denial, and teach them it’s OK for their dad to sleep around. (don’t forget about diseases)
Either choices: staying or leaving will be hard. But I would ask your husband to decide between his family or other women, and let him make the choice. Then think about your options…and your love for your kids should help you decide what is right.
i think you have to change your thinking. you can be strong without being in an unhealthy relationship. by doing this you compromise your feelings and sell yourself short on happiness. being happy allows you to be better at everything, wife, mother, etc. just because he’s a good father doesn’t make him a good husband. you can still be a good parent but be with someone that is not the father of your children. what kind of an example are you setting for your children? if you have a daughter, would you commend her for being strong if she were in the same situation?