My Husband Still Loves His Ex. What Should I Do?
I asked my husband if he still loved his ex and he said yes. He also said that is his past and she has no chance with him ever again. He said that what matters is that he is IN LOVE with me.
I have always been there for him and she just left him for someone else. He said the breakup was not a bad one and he has no ill will against her. I just had a baby two weeks ago and was listening to a song with the lyrics I am in love with another woman and I am sorry to have to tell you this” something like that and decided to ask.
He has always been honest with me and I love him for that. But now I feel that he is not completely mine and some part of his heart belongs to her and I cannot deal with it. I cry and cry. I don’t want to touch him or anything. I feel like a fool. How can he still love her after all of this time?
am hurting so bad. I still smile and go on as if nothing is wrong but I feel like crap and cry all the time. What should I do? I have been with him since I was a teenager and he met her after we broke up a short while then came back to me. How can he love her and she left him? I have been there not her. I don;t know if I can get pass this. He is a good man and takes care of me and the kids but this I cannot handle knowing he still loves her after all of this time.
I don’t want to leave him because I love him so much and I know that I should not love him after knowing this but I do. What should I do? Leave? Stay? Just deal with it and not break up my home? I do consider my children in all of this.
I treat him so much better than she did. She left him for someone else. I have been there and she was not. I am such a fool.
THis is not fair.
Please advice please!
Thank you all.
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Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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Tell him that you still love your ex too or just make one up from high school then your even simple
He is with you and is faithful. You need to find a way to get passed this so you don’t ruin what you do have. Who’s sleeping next to him at night? Who had his kids? Don’t worry about her. If he’s always honest, and says she has no chance let it go. Some people always love those they loved before, but he’s not in love with her and isn’t interested in her. He loves you and is in love with you. If necessary see a therapist- this isn’t worth ruining things over.
dont take this so personally. its normal hell i still have a strange deep seeded love for a girl from highschool.
its normal! chill out and trust eachother thats what marriage is about. dont try to prevent him from having his feelings, or dnt try to change his feelings. he will cheat or leave eventually if u do.
Well it is okay to still love people from you past as long as you are not actively IN LOVE with them. Ask yourself this, Do I still have love for an ex? Even if you want to say no you probably do a little for someone. Don’t lie to yourself because you want to be right. He is with you and loves you. Accept it for what it is. If he wanted to be back with her he’d be trying. Honey, please let it go. It will cause you nothing but heartache. If you love him like you say you do then let it be. Everything ends up the way it is suppose to be. Don’t push him about it too much. Most people don’t like talking or thinking about things. It sounds like you think of her more than he does, that’s not fair to you. Things will be okay. Keep your head up and hope I could help. I’ve been through it and it ate me up inside until I was a person I no longer knew myself. Good luck.
You can still love a person without being in love with them. He is not IN love with her. it’s completely different. I am married now and am in love with my wife. I was married before and have a child with my ex. I still love her as she is the mother of my child. Am I in love with my ex? No. There is a big difference, and YOU are the one that is making it a problem, not him. You are being overly self-centered in this issue.
Are you sure he is not saying he loves her but he is not in love with her. Very different. He could love her because of the person she is and is the mother of his children if he has any with her. He told you right there he IS IN love with you. Big difference. He loves you and he is still with you. You trying to find something wrong and asking questions like that is only going to make you look insecure. Just enjoy his company and don’t start playing games where he cannot touch you because if you start doing that then he will find someone else.
its a normal thing dont worry
i believe hes faithful and isnt trying to hurt you. hes just being honest with you. it probably hurt for him to tell you that. sadly, people dont completely stop loving their exes, especially if they were in a serious relationship. its tough, but i guarantee you he loves you and DOES NOT want you to leave. i know this is gonna hurt hearing, but just deal witht he fact that he still has feelings for his ex. maybe, just maybe, as time goes on, he’ll have smaller and smaller feelings for her.
I think he’s a pretty much the stupidest man alive. What kind of asshole tells his wife he loves someone else? I think you have no choice but to divorce his sorry ass. Seriously!? Why the hell would you ever tell your wife or girlfriend that. You will never forget that he told you this and as a result you will forever doubt his commitment to your marriage.
Stay. It will be hard you will always feel second but if you have a good relationship maybe his love for her will fade. Just dont keep bringing he up or you are the one who keeps his love alive , he may not even be thinking of her until you bring her up. Good luck.
I struggled with your problem at the beginning of our relationship.We had both been married before and had other long time relationships.My husband says that whatever feeling we had for other people you can’t erase.It happened.It was before your time.We sometimes joke about the people who "had us"and let us get away.Don’t let this come between you and your husband.Take joy in the fact that you’re the lucky one that he comes home to every night.
In marriage, both of you have to work hard to make it work. If the other one doesn’t cooperate, both of you will not be happy.
You just gave birth 2 weeks ago and I think you are just going through the post natal depression. You are more sensitive and seek attention especially from your husband. Why did you ask your husband if he still loves his ex? When he said yes, it was because that is how he felt. It may be hard for you to accept but lucky for you, you have someone like him. At least you would have to believe that he is telling the truth when he said that she was his past and she has no chance with him ever again. What matters most is he is still there with you and do his best to make everything work in your marriage.
i agree with Freyja. Talk about your ex and see how he likes it! Tell him to go back to the ex and get up every morning to make breakfast and do laundry! Better yet take a vacation alone and tell him to do those duties! He will be crying MOMMY when he knows what you do daily! Simply tell him that you are visiting family and/or friends. He can contact you. give him a chore list. Tell the kids that daddy is home and mommy is visiting and will be back tomorrow.
You should be relieved he is still loves his ex. You know it is impossible to fall out of love. You can fall in love and learn to love someone but once you do love a person for real, how could you stop? It shows he knows what love is. He may not like her, and never want anything to do w/ her but love is for keeps you can’t take it back even when you want to. Just know he loves you and he’s in love with you and that will never die.
if your "husband" still loves his ex then why are you even with him? then again you’re putting the well being of your child above your own needs. i can’t fault you there.
get over it!! he is with you not her
It’s not like he’s cheating on you woman! Pipe down. At least he’s honest. So what if he loves her. He said he’s IN LOVE WITH YOU!!! He may just be a loving man. He said she has no chance.WHY? Because he’s with YOU and he wants YOU. Don’t let something so little ruin your marriage and break up your family.He sounds like a good man so don’t let him go.You’ll regret it.Just love him.You’re lucky.
Good luck!
i think you missed the point.
he does not love her like his woman he loves her for the ‘past relationship they had’
the man told you you are the one, maybe he should not have been forthright with you. whats happening here is that you can’t handle the truth that ‘in the past he love the woman. at the present he loves you.
the reality is at one time he loved this other woman, just like you might have loved another man.
get over it and move on.
appreciate the love the man has for you and build a life with him. stop being a prober of the past.
my comment, he would habe been better off lying to you and telling you you are the only woman he has loved. see what i mean?
next time he jumps it, give him the best f _ _ _ and see if he walks around in a daze. then you will know for sure, or, at least have a good idea.
oh, by the way, you have to boost his ego and tell him what a bad bull he is.