Is it rude to just ignore emails and phone calls?
It has been 20-+ years since I have been friends with my BFF. Some of our most awkard moments in life we went through together. High School would of been embarable without her. However.. here we are 20+ years later and our friendship is dead as ever. Moving thousands of miles away did it but we kept in contact. Her marriage hitting the skids..and being a single mom we managed still.. Her new marriage of a few years and a new baby have pretty much be the causative root of her attn elsewhere. She openly admits that she is too busy to keep in touch ( please save the conclusion of me not being married or without children out of this as it is not true… no jelously here. ) Too busy to keep in touch… means… no calls on my recent wedding, no return emails, no return calls and often when a call is placed she has to go after a minute because family duty calls. ( It was never like this with her 12 year old when she was born.. ) Also the few emails I have gotten are all about the
48 minutes ago – 3 days left to answer.
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46 minutes ago
her recent child’s birth. I am sad and I sent an email to talk to her about this… and she immediately went defensive. SO I said it was time to say official good bye…. as I felt no need to keep myself around for nothing but disapointments.
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1 second ago – 3 days left to answer.
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Tagged with: additional details • attn • Awkard • bff • conclusion • email • family duty • friendship • good bye • jelously • marriage • moments in life • new baby • phone calls • return emails • single mom • skids
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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I think you did the right thing, she only wants to maintain contact at HER convenience and when it is all about HER – spend time with a more worthy friend, definitely time to write this one off.
ok
Just Say You Have Alot On YOur Hands And You Might Not Have Time To Answer All Your Mail BBut If It a Phone Call it Might be best to answer it even if its just for 2 seconds just say your busy and say you maybee meet up with them someothe time
It’s a shame but people to grow and move on. If her life is very hectic at the moment she may not have enough time for her current friends, let alone ones from years ago who she can’t easily pop in to see now and again.
Everything changes. It’s obviously time to move on yourself. Try to leave things on a pleasant note though, as some time in the future it may just turn out that something else is going on (possessive husband, depression etc.) and you would feel bad that you added to her worries.
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Sometimes friends just kind of drift apart. There’s really nothing wrong with that. However, it doesn’t mean you have to "officially" end it. Just stop emailing and calling her, let the ball stay in her court for now.
It’s definitely rude of her not to return your calls and emails. It really doesn’t take very long to send an email, if talking on the phone would be too time consuming for her. The harsh reality is that you may need to come to grips with the possible fact that she may not want to be friends or that the distance and changes have been to great to continue the relationship. Any good friend would have wanted to hear about your wedding, if not be a part of it. You are definitely the one doing all the work and the relationship is already one sided. I’ve been through this before with an old best friend, and finally I just had to give up and let her make effort if she wanted to continue the friendship.
Friendships … friends-shift.
Dynamics with friends change over the years, either accept them or as you have done, move on.
You’re throwing away a 20 year friendship because she was too busy attending to her baby? That’s ridiculous!
Am I picking up you’ve reported answers already? Is this what you’re saying?
Also, maybe your friendship should be over. I’ve lost my best girlfriend, too, and there was nothing I could do about it.
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I know what you feel
It hurts
People drift apart when time passes, that’s sad sometimes but I wouldn’t call it rude, it’s just one of those things that happen. If I tell someone I’m too busy to keep in touch then that means just that, don’t expect any calls or mails. If someone else tells me they’re too busy to keep in touch I accept that and find someone else to mail and talk with, a current friend or colleague who lives nearby and I see more often. I have no contact with anyone from high school or college nor do I want any, that doesn’t mean I didn’t value the friendships I had at the time, it means I’ve moved on since.