How To Get Over My Ex-Girlfriend?
Gosh where do I start..uh..
Me and my girlfriend spent 3 years together. I had a typical teen social life (I’m 22 now) but she didn’t. She was sheltered, shy, never had a boyfriend, etc. Anyway, we got as close as humanly possible. I mean she would even tear up when we talked about our love for each other, and vice versa. We had alot of times over 3 years. That’s a long time.
Anyway, so she’s out in california with her sick mom and started college 2 months ago. I was here in Louisiana looking for us a house and planning for her to move back down here. We had plans for kids and marriage and a great life together. She was the perfect innocent and pure girl. Anyway… I didn’t hear from her for 3 days (we talked like 10 hours per day) so i got worried and contacted her sister. Then she tells me how she met someone. To make a long story short, all my plans were shattered and she left me for this new guy. While I was looking for us a house, she was making out with this boy she just met. I find out they have done so many sexual things (oral and have tried to have sex but she said it hurt her too bad as she’s a virgin). This is a huge shock to me because she was mine for so long. MINE.
I cried for a week and could not eat a thing for a week. I not only lost my best friend, but finding out how much she has done with this pervert asshole was a complete shock to me. It’s been about a month now and I still can’t get over it. I get bitter, I get sad, I cry, I lost all faith in real love and relationships. I am still shocked and don’t know how to get over this. I tried going out and drinking and being social but I just spend too much money and I am alone in the end. I have no interest in other women. I’m lost.
I appreciate the responses! I do wanna say.. I was not overly posessive. There was about a 1 year span there where she was the most clingy person I ever met. She went crazy over me, but I was working alot and took her for granted. Then I "woke up" and began making up for it. Then this happens RIGHT when we are about to get a house and start our life. I miss her, I miss us but I could never take her back after this – I still talk to her almost every night but I know it is setting me back, but it keeps me together at the same time as I "need" her. She has tried to take me back a couple times but I told her it isn’t possible even though I want her more than anything else in the world.
It’s terrible to want something so bad but know you can’t have it because this thing inflicted so much pain on you. I remember driving down the road crying and passing my grandfather, and we backed our vehicles in the road and he had to talk to me just so I could stop crying and finish driving home.
Sadly, I knew deep down that since she lived such a sheltered life that I could probably lose her to someone else once she got out there. She is very naive and bad with decisions and I feel protective over her. No one knows her better than I! But despite my gut feelings, "loving eyes can never see" and if you’re played for a fool, you’re the last one to know – as Percy Sledge put it
I’m alone now and she isn’t – But I have another gut feeling that she is going to fall hard and perhaps get a taste of what I went through. I don’t wish this on her or even my worst enemy. She kind of ruined me because now I feel that ANYONE is capable of cheating and shocking you, no matter how well you know them. Now I’m scared to fall for anyone else. I wish I could be an asshole guy who does not get attached, but I am the way I am.
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Tagged with: 3 years • best friend • ex girlfriend • faith • girlfriend • long time • louisiana • love • marriage • Met • much money • pervert • relationships • shock • sick mom • span • virgin
Filed under: How To Get Her Back
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HEY!!! STOP FV<KIN TALKIN TO HER Ya can’t move on like that!!!!GET ON WITH IT AND STOP WHININ!!!I was empithetic before,but you’re drownding in it now…
Sorry to hear that…Sincerely…Going out with other women,when I wanna be with a certian one makes me miserable…There is nothing you can do to speed the process…It hurts,and ya just gotta let it hurt.I don’t mean lay in your bed listening to "Your" song.Get up and get outa the house do your job as best ya can…Just don’t focus on the two of them having sex,and she’s never coming back $#!+.Catch yourself doing that…Stop it!!!You didn’t do anything wrong…Sucks,but that’s just the way it is now…Never drink to forget…Ya drink to remember ,and be happy…Take care of yourself,or you’ll be stuck there a lot longer…Wish her the best,and get on with it…Sorry that’s all I got,but I feel for ya Dude! Good Luck…What doesn’t kill ya makes you stronger…Fv<k her
drink hard liquor
Well for that you should see
http://biznuss.net/
keep using answers.yahoo.com
You will get over her just as fast as you find another. Trust me!
find a new boyfriend
I’m sorry, my ex and I of over 2 years broke up recently and I know it’s hard and I felt pretty crap too and I still do. There’s not much you can do if she’s made up her mind it’s over, and is doing stuff with the new guy. You just have to start the painful and slow process of moving on. Because of what she did at least you know there’s a good reason for it ending (when there isn’t it’s harder IMO) and you can focus on that, I know it’s hurtful she turned out that way, but at least you can accept it’s over. Then start working on yourself without her. What are some things you couldn’t do while you were with her? Do some things you want to do. Read the basic advice about getting over a break up online. You know, seeing friends and family, eating and exercising well, doing a new hobby. I’ve been doing that, No, it doesn’t make things better, but it helps somewhat. It’s really painful, it’s been about 2 months for me and I’m still in pain, but it is slightly better slowly. I’m just trying to get through it one day at a time because people say I will heal eventually. Good luck.
listen…
there are two things possible,..
1. the sister might have lied… you dont know there might be some
other issue for not contacting you
2. if she has then u have to as well… like dont fall for the wrong person
but just carry your life as normal as possible.. dont think about it too
much… dont get drunk… dont punish urself for her.. she is happy and if u love her.. be happy for her… and move on..
shit happens and this time it was you..im sorry this happened to you.
but if you need some one to have a normal chat and u feel like letting it out u can add me on thatsmaddd@hotmail.com
hope i helped…
I am so sorry. There is nothing you can really do though. You need to just feel it. People will tell you to get back on the horse and start dating again, but sometimes it is okay to just be sad for a while. Sulk, sleep in, listen to sad music, cry. Don’ t try to perk yourself up constantly, just be sad. After a few weeks of that you will be ready to rejoin the world, just don’t fight the sadness. You will get past it eventually and you will find someone someday.
Sleep with her sister/best friend.
Yeah that’s California to you I mean 12 year olds are sexually active here. Just move on find another girl who you can think about and use while you get over her. It sounds mean but whatever helps you.
Woman are like buses. If you miss one and it gets away, there will be another one coming 10 minutes later. I know it sucks, but time heals all wounds. In the mean time, I would try taking up a hobby (lifting weights, running, take a class to learn something new). That will help keep your mind off of her.
Between you and I, not a jealous man, but females lie
But I guess that’s just what sluts do.
But I do know one thing though, bitches they come, they go.
it is not easy but think about this: do you really want someone who lied to you? threw away 3 years for something that she could have overlooked? if someone doesnt love you like you love them, they are not worth it. im not saying automatically go out and have sex with anything that walks, im saying put yourself first
you can date me instead
haha just kidding dont worry.
i dont think theres really anything u can do but wait. Time heals All things i PROMISE you. DONT rely on liquor, it will make things worse. and u dont want to become a drunk. make sure you DONT talk to her, because that wil set u back. just like communication is important in a relationship, No communication is important in a breakup.
I think that her mother being sick and you being gone, shes just having issues and maybe one day u can forgive her. but thats another thing.
for now focus on yourself. do things u want to do, have fun, meet new ppl, make new friends, travel, focus on your own life.
i hope u feel better, good luck!
She isnt worth your tears. I feel for you. Meet some new girls
I experienced a similar story about 6 months ago. Your pain will not go away over night, and there’s no cure all answer that will make you feel better. But what i can tell you is that it will get a little better each day. Just keep moving forward, and eventually you’ll get out of your funk. Additionally, you can’t claim that this other guy is a perverted asshole because you can’t assume the circumstances. You may also want to consider how attached youve become with this girl, or future girls. attachment is good, but too much leads into dependency, and that situation will always destroy your relationships. there are many things that are you need to consider, and many things that you need to evaluate as healthy or unhealthy. You may also want to see a counselor.
I’m sorry you’re grieving, but let me set one thing straight. She was never YOURS, which is probably why she left you, because you were so scarily possessive.
You’ll get over her, and if you don’t, then see a professional, who can help you with your overly possessive tendencies.
Sometimes people who live sheltered lives get like that, they want to experience things they missed whether it’s partying, going places, sex. especially if they are still younger, not saying younger people can’t be mature. The best thing is to give space and come up with fun ideas to do together that would be exciting. Have friends get together and hang and not always just be you two. But since this had happened, and if you have talked it over and she still doesn’t want to go back out, maybe it was for the best, maybe she would do it again. Maybe she’s just confused and needs some space. Maybe she was hanging with a wrong crowd of people. I’m sorry you have to go through this I know how you feel. It’s hard to just get over someone. The best thing to do is keep yourself busy, hang out with friends, take online classes, go on a trip and ask friends to go. Give yourself time. Maybe things will work out and you will get back together, or maybe you will find someone else.
Oh, it was like you were telling my story of the past month.
My fiance left me. The person I was planning on spending my life with, having his babies, buying a house together… left me. He moved three states away.
The holes that are left behind are physical and real. I would be walking up some stairs and would suddenly bend into the fetal position, unable to breathe or move because there was such a terrible ravaging pain in my stomach/heart/soul. And not "woe is me". Such a pain that you can’t eat, can’t sleep…
Heartbreak is an awful pain, attacking you physically, emotionally, mentally. You can’t escape, and the one person you would go to… was the person who broke your heart and to whom you can’t go anymore.
Here is how I’m dealing with it.
1) Have your mom or your dad or your brother and sister on speed dial, and USE it. Every time you find yourself thinking of her, of missing her, of the emptiness you feel, CALL them. They love you, and especially parents understand heartbreak – they were in the dating scene once too. Don’t call for advice, just call to talk, and then talk. Tell him all the things you’re too embarrassed to admit to your friends because you shouldn’t be feeling this sad. Tell your mom and dad, or your sister. They will listen and listen and listen. And then afterward, being families, they will probably say "well _____, this is what you should do." Believe me, I know. I talked to my mom about 4 times a day that first couple weeks, called her every time I started crying, or even felt lonely. And every time she would tell me to "order in a healthy meal" or "go invite your friend to a movie" or "take a trip to visit your cousin Shelley." The message behind all of this advice, of course, being "Get Busy! Don’t wilt into a mess of hurt, you need to take care of yourself!"
And, it worked. The more you talk about what you’re feeling, rather than holding it in, the better. Why do we hold it in? Well, it makes us feel vulnerable to tell someone, and the last time we were vulnerable, (aka in a relationship), we got burned. Hardcore. But ignore this instinct. If you keep it inside, you can keep denying and denying and denying all you want. But until you tell someone, you can’t move on. Until you tell someone, you won’t hear them say "It’s totally ok to feel that way right now. Of course you feel like your heart has been torn to shreds. Of course you miss your best friend. And it’s alright ".
And that helps more than anything else.
Here is my secret remedy. A break-up is the death of something you once loved dearly. And grief is a process that is going to take place, albeit slowly. The five stages are Anger, Denial, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.
Now, I am in denial right now. I was angry with my fiance, but because I am still in love with him, I just let myself believe that in a few months, he’ll be back… begging for forgiveness. And honestly, that is the only thing letting me function on a day-to-day basis. I have the energy to get involved, to go to classes and to stay busy because I’m not at home in the depression stage. I am slowly filling my life with things that are not him.
By the time I’m over the denying thing, I will realize that I don’t need him in my life anymore. I will slide on past the depression and into the acceptance stage. When I someday know for sure that he is never coming back (as, in my heart, I do know), that will be ok, because I have been living my life so far without him. The acceptance will be easy.
And don’t worry, I have no interest in other men. I love him and miss our relationship… I miss my best friend, too. I’m not interested in dating ever again because it is a war out there, not one I’m ready to step into yet.
But here’s the thing. Whether your girlfriend just felt like she needed to explore her options a little and will be coming back to you, or if she never does, I truly believe in love. Everyone had a love. And if this isn’t it, then there is one out there. You don’t have to find her now. But logically, then, if your girl doesn’t come back, you KNOW that you’ll be getting over her, because your actual soul mate is still out there waiting for you.
I hope this helps. Rely on your friends. (I’m in a new state and don’t know anyone… makes meeting people harder)
Good luck. There is no cure for a broken heart except you. It will hit you slowly, but remember the moments. I kept a journal of return to normality. Jot down the things you did today that you did alone, without her. Notice the moments you were tapping your finger to the song on the radio. Know, in your heart, that you are going to be ok. Know that at this time next year, you will be singing to a song on the radio, and you will be ok. You will be ok.