Comments on: I need serious advice on how to convience my wife I love her and will never cheat on her again.

By: BravoC

BravoC — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 06:33:10 +0000

I agree you are very lucky to be back at home…you made a mistake and it’s just too bad everyone else has to deal with it but that’s the only thing that an affair can produce. She WILL have anger and resentment towards you for a very long time, i know this makes no sense but just answer all of her questions honestly( and they will probably be the same Q’s over and over)>As a woman that has ben cheated on i beleive that we can forgive but honey we can’t forget, and the only thing you can do is take the blows as she feels needs to give them……

By: groker79

groker79 — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 06:33:10 +0000

OK Ken here comes the help. Dude first I need to give you a verbal slapping. POW, what have you done, married to the woman you love for thirteen years and you fool around with somebody 20 years older than her? That’s gonna make her feel great isn’t it. You’ve done the right thing in telling her, it’s a great first step. It’s been 3 years since she let you back into her life but she still doesn’t trust you, you need to do all you can to let your wife feel like she is the most important woman in the world and that her and your child are the only things that matter to you which I would hope they are, that means buying flowers, doing romantic things when you can but most importantly of all you need to give her honest answers about why you did what you did, none of this it wasn’t you it was me C*#P, she wants honest answers, if you thought this woman was really hot etc etc tell her. BE HONEST. it sounds like you love your family very much and they deserve the best from you and that means being the strongest person you can be. This isn’t an impossible situation to come back from but it will take time and courage on your behalf.
Chin up, sorry for kicking you when you’re down.
All the best.

By: Dianne S

Dianne S — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 06:33:10 +0000

if you want an honest anwer then this is it. i, ve been cheated on before by my husband and it really hurts. charm does not work, neither do promises not to cheat. you need to be honest with your wife and be where you say you are when you are. make your self more accessible, your friends, your phone emails etc.
I can gurantee you that your wife will never fully trust you but will learn to overlook the past. Its easy to cheat but its difficult to undo the damage.

By: slickchick

slickchick — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 06:33:10 +0000

You should have kept it in your pants from the start, its going to take some time for your wife to get over this. Women can easily forgive, but its very hard to forget, we have a memory like an elephant.I was cheated on by my first husband years ago, I forgave him, but I could not forget the pain and humiliation that he had put me through, I forgave but didn’t forget, and every time he was a few minutes getting home late from work, that was the first thing in the back of my mind, trust issues are very had to let go of when you’ve been hurt and betrayed.Sound like your wife is having a hard time with letting go, as far as answers, I think after 3 years she must know those answers already, I’m sure you already told her. From what your saying here sound like your wife is now playing the guilt trip on you, this is her way of punishing you becaus, she still can’t come to terms with the affair that you had, she now needs to stop this negative behavior, by her acting hostile towards you, your wife is going to push you too far and you might end up doing something your going to regret,maybe another affair because of what she’s doing, who knows?. But both of you need to try marriage counseling and see how that works. There is nothing more you can tell your wife, especially if you’ve, already apologized a zillion times over the last 3 years, Now its up to her, just go about your daily routine, stop talking about it, forget it, don’t remind her about trying to forgive you, drop it. enoughs, enough already, its time for your wife to let it go , she’s made you cry for 3 years and you have repented your sins, now she needs to grow up and stop the head games she’s playing too. You have poured your heart and soul out to her, she insists on still making you feel bad? Please get her into counseling and go with her, good luck.

By: 6ofUs

6ofUs — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 06:33:10 +0000

My take on it goes like this : if you *truly* loved your wife, you would not have cheated. If you *truly* respected your wife, you would not have cheated. If you *truly* valued your wife and your marriage, you would not have cheated. Cheating would not have even been an option for you with those things as base reality. But it was. You do the math.