How to fall in love with my husband all over again?
My husband and i are married for 6 years now, he is 34 and i an 26 and we have 2 beautiful boys. Just before the marriage he was hospitalized for food poisoning. But the hospital diagnosed him with heart problem that was because the nurse put the ECG attachment in the wrong place. Our marriage was postponed and we got married a month later. In the initial days of marriage we were so much in love, my heart used to miss a beat up on his one wink, I used to be very happy to see him come home from work and stuffs like that. He started showing signs of his problems in the early days of marriage, initially we decided go to Paris for our honeymoon and my father said he would pay for the tickets for us as a wedding present , but my husband said no and he said we would go with his money but that never happened, he dint bother to buy me a present on my birthday, 1st anniversary and valentines day (all in the same month) and when I spoke to him about that he said he dint know how to buy a gift . we stay away from our home country and when we go for vacations he takes lots of gifts for his parents and other relatives, then I don’t know y he is hesitating to buy me anything. (I don’t have a job). He gives me money and asks me to buy things for myself, but just once I want to receive a gift from him. During the 2nd month of marriage I became pregnant with my 1st born, after the delivery and 8 weeks when I returned to him he showed no interest in me. We used to fight all the time, always about sex those days I was very frustrated and when ask him a lot of time we used to make love once or twice a month. But I always wanted him to go 1st, when I talk to my friends they say their husbands are back of them every day , I wished at least once it would be that way for me, eventually I stopped asking because I felt like a whore asking him every time. But there was no change in him, and then a year later i started taking medicine for depression, before my illness I used to beg him to have sex with me, most of the nights I cry myself to sleep. one day I spoke to him and he told me it is because he had anxiety problem and now he is ok But while I was on treatment, I don’t know if it is out of pity, he used to have sex with me then I got pregnant with my 2nd son and the same thing was repeated after the delivery. But now I don’t have any feelings for him, day by day I feel emptier inside. When I see him I want to pick fight maybe its because I want his attention, even if we have sex I don’t have any feelings for him, I do it just for the sake of it. There is a huge gap between us I don’t know, I literally hate him, our days are filled with sighs, now I see some change in him, I don’t know if its love, because for days together we don’t even kiss. somewhere in my mind I want to love him unconditionally , i want our relation to be like before, I try but I cant , when I try, I feel I am pretending . I am sure I don’t want to be away from him. I want to be with him for my kids. PLS HELP
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Tagged with: 6 years • anniversary • beautiful boys • depression • Fall In Love • food poisoning • heart problem • honeymoon • how to fall in love • initial days • Love Heart • marriage • medicine • Money 98 • nurse • parents • paris • relatives • signs • stuffs • taking medicine • vacations • wedding present • whore • wink
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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Instead of focusing on what he’s done wrong, try focusing on the right things. Men need to be directly asked about presents too-if he can’t remember to buy you things, remind him about what’s coming up and give him hints on what you’d like. Don’t let that ruin your future with him.
As far as the sex goes-have you always initiated? Some men don’t because they lack confidence. Try complimenting him and telling him how sexy he is. You have to work at marriage. Sounds like you have to make some changes if this is going to work out. Don’t give up without trying. Love will come if you give it.
You need to start talking to eachother, start doing loving things for the sake of it
make sure your home is clean and he has a good meal waiting when he gets home
give him xtra good sex
get passionate about saving your marriage!
Wow, you need to start talking for one thing, sounds like you guys need some major communication help. Do not know if he has some medical issues to take care of also or you. Go on dates. Get out of the house, if things are in a rut, and it sounds like you are bored. Get a baby sitter, and go out, have fun try to forget about your issues. Get some pics of when you were first dating and reminisce about the times you were just falling in love.
If you think you can work things out then you should.
If you think you will be happier in a more receptive, loving relationship then I suggest you carry on with your life and find another man.
There really are nice ones out there.
Thank you for sharing. Your initial question is about "falling in love with" your husband again. Think about that metaphor…"falling in love." Why would one want to "fall" in love? Sure it feels good for a while, but this speaks only to the emotions of love. And falling HURTS!! True love is a choice and a decision. A marriage is more about relationship than it is about "love falling." It sounds like you both need to have someone help you talk about your issues and find ways to make a more satisfactory relationship. There are plenty of professionals that can help with this. As for love…. it is a choice you must both make to love each other and treat each other with respect and honor.
Please know that you are not alone and many are in a similar situation. My prayer for you is that you will both decide to continue and deepen your love while at the same time working mutually to create the kind of relationship that is satisfactory for each of you and your family. Stop thinking about "falling." Walk straight up into love and enjoy the process.
Good luck and God bless.
Wow, I really want to give you some words of wisdom here because I feel for you. I wouldn’t know what to do from this point. I think there are a lot of miss-communication. Maybe I would suggest a marriage counselor. Most men aren’t up for that but if he truly loves you he would do that for you. If nothing else works… I hate to say it but it is time to find someone that loves you for you. Don’t worry about the children they do adapt. I am a daughter of a divorced family. To tell you the truth I was happy that they divorced because it made me sad to see them sad and fight and argue. So really think about it. Try what you can but do what’s right for you and take care of your self. You are your number one!
I would not stay in a loveless marriage. He shows more affection for his family then you and your children.
You can’t make him feel something he doesn’t or do things for you when he doesn’t want to. And if he did buy you things it would only be because you asked and not because he wanted to. Would you really want it that way?
Or would you like to find someone to love you , make love to you, shower you with affection, and presents (without being asked) and take you to Paris for your honeymoon? Its not to late !
If you stay with him your sons will grow up to be just like him. Is that what you want?
Only you can decide what to do. But I can tell you that I divorced my husband for different reasons, met a great guy, and have been so much happier then I ever was.
Either leave and meet someone else or stay and know that this is how your life will be from this moment on. He won’t change.
I don’t think you should stay with him. Your life will continue to suck until you cut your losses with him. Think about joint custody and divorce. He will never be what you want him to be.