Christians: Can Prov 22:15 be interpreted any other way than being commanded to spank your children?
I was saved not even one month ago (praise God!). I am so excited about learning and striving to live and display a Christian life. I am enthusiastically reading many parts of the bible, and have been studying "Love & Respect" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs which has just been a miracle for my no-longer-failing marriage.
Next to those books I have read, am re-reading, and trying to understand, "Shepherding a Child’s Heart" which teaches you in a biblical way how to raise your children emphasizing on how to deal correctly when your child sins. I love, embrace, and understand that I am not to act out in anger when punishing my 2 yr old daughter but to love her and hold her even tighter when her heart has strayed. The thing I just can’t grasp is spanking my child. It breaks my heart to even think about it.
Do I just need to have faith and do it because I am commanded to… will this bring comfort and confidence that I am doing the right thing?
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Tagged with: amp • anger • bible • christians • confidence • doing the right thing • dr emerson eggerichs • failing marriage • faith • heart • love • marriage • miracle • parts of the bible • praise god • Spank
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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firstly, congratulations and welcome to the family! Things will only get tougher from here as you have a whole new prospective on things and a conscience in which God speaks.
I too love my children as the gift they are to my wife and me. In that I also want them to grow to become strong Christians and good people in general. I believe that to "spare the rod and spoil the child" means that as parents we need to maintain discipline with our children so that they learn right from wrong. You can "time-out" them or spank them appropriately.
After you have disciplined in whatever way ask God to give you insight into their spirit; is it remorse, stubborn or hurt? That way you can love on them and pray with them so they understand that they must honour you according to Gods request.
Always finish with prayer with them and for them. Don’t give satan the opportunity to get a hold in your child heart or mind.
(it is tough to go into too much detail with an answer like this, but you are welcome to email me if I can be of assistance to you at all)
If you are speaking about ‘spare the rod and spoil the child,’ What they mean is if you do not discipline your child he will become unruly and rebellious toward authority. How you discipline your child should never be a concern. IF you discipline should be. Children need boundaries, rules and guidelines, else they will never understand that their actions have consequences. They have to understand accountability and responsibility. This is only achieved through discipline.
If you can make your child obey without spanking her then so much the better.
Besides, you don’t have to spank her really hard! just so she gets the message that her doing this wrong thing would have this consequence.
Yeah, the first guy to answer has it right
Well i have read a book saying not until a child is 3 doess/he need to be spanked, but the bible does say spare the rod spoil the child, they need to be spanked with some things to learn. some children just simply dont need one, but they do need to know where the line is, and if they cross it they need to know without a doubt what will happen to them if they cross…thus spanking on some things.
Shephards used the rod to guide not punish. Some interpret this verse in another way but I do not believe that was the original intention. The rod was used to prevent a sheep from following a path the shephard did not want them to walk. Children cannot make decisions with foresight until they are potty trained. If your little girl cannot control her bodily functions, it is doubtful she is having well thought out decision making going on. Reminding and preventing are the best choices for now. I am sure you are doing a fine job with your sweetie.
I am sure some people would interpret that scripture to say we need to spank our children (by the "rod of correction" part). It is all in the way that it is interpretted for you in YOUR heart. Anyone who would insist that Prov 22:15 says to spank your kids or you arent obeying God’s law, is plain and simple, wrong. For me, that scripture simply means that children will do things that are wrong, but that if you discipline your children they will learn what is right and what is wrong.
If it breaks your heart to spank your kids, dont do it. If you have other methods that are getting the same point across, use them. Also spanking has been proven to not be a very effective method of discipline. I normally dont spank my son myself, and limit it to if he is doing something that could actually hurt him (like trying to run out into parking lots).
God Bless you and your family, and congrats on finding Him!
I say seek the Lord to give you peace about this. I was placed in foster care because my mom was so abusive. But I didn’t want to go overboard the other way and not spank. I prayed and the Lord taught me to be very matter of fact about it. "Joey, momma told you not to throw your food, right? Now come here so I can spank you." After spanking him let him know you love him and you’re just teaching him to listen. No need to shout. After I spanked my son I always hugged him and reassured him that I loved him. Because I kept it pretty routine he trusted me and I haven’t spanked him since he was 6 or 7. There is grace in the Lord. He loves you and He is not going to strike you down if you aren’t able to spank your child. I think sometimes adults because of our own experiences, equate spanking with violence. In the big spanking debate I think two things have been left out. One, how old is the child when you stop. I think for an 8 year old to be spanked it might be a little belittling and actually work against you. Also I always took time with my son when he was 2. Time for just him where he is more in control. I would lay on the floor and play with his action figures or color or play but on his level with him in control. Blessing and welcome to the family of God and the body of Christ.
Shepards don’t beat their lambs, they guide them. Jesus said anyone who causes a child distress ought to be thrown in the sea with a millstone around his neck.
Your heartbreak is right. her heart hasn’t strayed – she’s two. Get a grip on yourself. She is not sinning. That is such a sick attitude about children – it will not help her at all and it is not helping you. You are not commanded to do this.
Get an education and learn how the bible has been so often translated, edited, mistranslated, rewritten, had books left out, books included – scholars believe, by the way, that there ARE NO good english translations of these english texts.
NONE. So, get an education and stop allowing whackos to influence your mind.
What translation of the Bible do you read. You need to know that there are many translations and that the linguistics of the time and culture had different meanings. That together with aged manuscripts means that interpretation is variable. Follow your heart and try to not take things so literally. You shouldnt spank other than a small love tap. I think that no little 2 year old can sin. They are either tired or hungry when they ‘misbehave’. If you have taken care of both those 2 needs you will find that they will not misbehave. If they do a warm bath is all you need to quiet down. Best wishes and enjoy your baby without all the rigidity of fundamentalism that may go against your natural maternal instincts that God gave you.
Congratulations. What a great question. I’m a Christian mom to a 2 year old as well. I don’t think spanking is beneficial to children, in general. I really liked the answer that said the rod was comparable to a shepherd’s rod and used to guide. I think that is very true.
You have lots of good answers here. I just want to share one of my favorite verses with you. I think it applies to Christian parenting perfectly.
1 Corinthians 4-8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
*edit* I know I’m a little late with this, but just came across it today and thought of your question. Psalm 23:4 "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me." Here, the rod is used for comforting. Just thought I would add that.
I think the first answer is perfect, but must correct some people who have made some incorrect interpretations on ‘rod’ and the confusion with the word ‘staff’.
The Bible uses the words ‘rod’ and ‘staff’. The rod is for correction and the staff is for guidance. The shepherd used a staff to gather in sheep straying from the fold. He also used it as a means of protection from animals that would seek to devour the lambs. The ‘rod’ was typically a correction stick.
You can interpret ‘spare the rod and spoil the child’ as ‘thou shalt spank thy children’ and/OR you can apply the concept – which the first answer has outlined…not so much the manner with which you apply loving discipline but the fact that you DO apply it.
The rod in Proverbs is speaking about discipline (corporal or not).
Consider Psalm 23 if you do not believe there is a difference between ‘rod’ and ‘staff’….
"….thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me….."
Both are necessary to raise children to be responsible, contributing adults in our society.
>Can Prov 22:15 be interpreted any other way
>than being commanded to spank your children?
YES. It certainly does teach that corporal punishment is ONE way to punish disobedient children/teens/others.
It is in God’s Word, but also notice who wrote the Book of Proverbs. It records the guidelines of the wisest MAN … but remember, he also did some very stupid-sounding things!
>Do I just need to have faith and do it because I am
>commanded to…
NO. An older child, who isn’t responding to your teaching, may need a "wake-up call" applied to his/her backside. For a 2 year old, I think your method "hold her even tighter when her heart has strayed" sounds about right. And maybe her "heart has strayed" … and maybe it is just that she is a 2 year old, learning, inquisitive, exploring, etc.
>will this bring comfort and confidence
>that I am doing the right thing?
Not if you are actually doing the wrong thing. YES, Proverbs provides guidance.
Maybe a 12 year old needs a real & SHARP STINGING wake-up call. Not a 2 year old. Not even if Susannah Wesley used a switch. Of course, she had 17 children.
I think you should parent as your heart tells you to. If you don’t feel comfortable or it’s not working for you, try something else. Everyone parents different and you can’t really ask this question and expect a straight answer that is the RIGHT answer. Because your going to hear ‘beat the sh*t out of em” ‘love them’, ‘do both’. My honest decipline precedures in my home (2,5,7 year olds) is balanced love, support, structure, routine, and decipline. Decipline is successful when you’re child is aware of their surroundings, bears respect for theirself and others and has an understanding of life and eventually when they are grown…will be able to take care of themselves. It really just boils down to that. And also remember; a child that has never had someone show them the way and correct them when they are wrong or endangering themselves…it usually leads to something bad. Corrupt future, young death, depression. Believe it or not…humans NEED structure in their life and with disipline young and old children with normal mental compacity ‘blossom’ better :]
Before sharing my story below, I’d like to comment that most pro-spanking parents are “not” going back to the original scriptures from ancient Hebrew and Greek. It’s necessary to use a literal word for word translations, such as an ESV or NASB, *not* a paraphrase (The Message, NIV, Living). In original scriptures, you will see that the bible does not advocate spanking. Please google grace-based parenting, and you will find articles explaining this. The following is a good article that explains it well: http://www.christianitytoday.com/momsense/2003/summer/6.50.html
I grew up in a loving, Christian home and was spanked (not in an abusive way). The spankings always seemed wrong to me, and because I was a child, it seemed traumatic. I couldn’t understand why my parents would want to “damage” me… I honestly felt I was being abused. Naturally, this made me angry at my parents. I was constantly having to forgive. I turned out a good, loving person “despite” being spanked. I turned out because I was taught right from wrong, and in my heart, I knew that’s what I wanted for myself. My brother was spanked more than me, and I think all that did was make him all the more rebellious. He’s a good guy, but he’s still a rebel – not leading the Christian life my parents thought “spanking” him would ensure. I think spankings only make rebellious kids “more” rebellious. Children should obey because they want to, not out of “fear.”