I grew up in a loving, Christian home and was spanked (not in an abusive way). The spankings always seemed wrong to me, and because I was a child, it seemed traumatic. I couldn’t understand why my parents would want to “damage” me… I honestly felt I was being abused. Naturally, this made me angry at my parents. I was constantly having to forgive. I turned out a good, loving person “despite” being spanked. I turned out because I was taught right from wrong, and in my heart, I knew that’s what I wanted for myself. My brother was spanked more than me, and I think all that did was make him all the more rebellious. He’s a good guy, but he’s still a rebel – not leading the Christian life my parents thought “spanking” him would ensure. I think spankings only make rebellious kids “more” rebellious. Children should obey because they want to, not out of “fear.”

The Bible uses the words ‘rod’ and ‘staff’. The rod is for correction and the staff is for guidance. The shepherd used a staff to gather in sheep straying from the fold. He also used it as a means of protection from animals that would seek to devour the lambs. The ‘rod’ was typically a correction stick.

You can interpret ‘spare the rod and spoil the child’ as ‘thou shalt spank thy children’ and/OR you can apply the concept – which the first answer has outlined…not so much the manner with which you apply loving discipline but the fact that you DO apply it.

The rod in Proverbs is speaking about discipline (corporal or not).

Consider Psalm 23 if you do not believe there is a difference between ‘rod’ and ‘staff’….

"….thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me….."
Both are necessary to raise children to be responsible, contributing adults in our society.

YES. It certainly does teach that corporal punishment is ONE way to punish disobedient children/teens/others.

It is in God’s Word, but also notice who wrote the Book of Proverbs. It records the guidelines of the wisest MAN … but remember, he also did some very stupid-sounding things!

>Do I just need to have faith and do it because I am
>commanded to…

NO. An older child, who isn’t responding to your teaching, may need a "wake-up call" applied to his/her backside. For a 2 year old, I think your method "hold her even tighter when her heart has strayed" sounds about right. And maybe her "heart has strayed" … and maybe it is just that she is a 2 year old, learning, inquisitive, exploring, etc.

>will this bring comfort and confidence
>that I am doing the right thing?

Not if you are actually doing the wrong thing. YES, Proverbs provides guidance.

Maybe a 12 year old needs a real & SHARP STINGING wake-up call. Not a 2 year old. Not even if Susannah Wesley used a switch. Of course, she had 17 children.

I too love my children as the gift they are to my wife and me. In that I also want them to grow to become strong Christians and good people in general. I believe that to "spare the rod and spoil the child" means that as parents we need to maintain discipline with our children so that they learn right from wrong. You can "time-out" them or spank them appropriately.

After you have disciplined in whatever way ask God to give you insight into their spirit; is it remorse, stubborn or hurt? That way you can love on them and pray with them so they understand that they must honour you according to Gods request.

Always finish with prayer with them and for them. Don’t give satan the opportunity to get a hold in your child heart or mind.

(it is tough to go into too much detail with an answer like this, but you are welcome to email me if I can be of assistance to you at all)