I love my husband, but I am in love with my ex-boyfriend and can’t stop thinking about him, what should I do?
My relationship with my first love ended 7 years ago . I got married 1 year later. I care deeply about my husband, but I can’t help thinking about my ex. The feelings I had for him were stronger and deeper than anything I ‘ve ever felt for anyone. He was everything to me, he was my life. He was the best, the most intelligent, sweet, sexy, talented man I’ve ever met. I am not sure what exactly happened, but one day he just disappeared, he stopped calling. After I married my husband, years after we broke up he emailed me and said he had gotten very sick and he didn’t want to be a burden to me, that’s why he decided to disappear.He also said he was feeling better and he still loved me more than anything, he wanted me back. I said no. I’ve been married for 6 years now, my relationship with my husband isn’t that great, but we do love each other ( I do not love him as much as I love my ex ). My ex has been emailing me all these years. He still wants me back, but can I trust him again?
I just wanted to hear from people who were in similar situation. Did you stay with your husband/boyfriend or left him for your ex? It is very hard to be married to on person and be in love with somebody else.
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Tagged with: 6 years • ex boyfriend • feelings • first love • love • Met • relationship • Sexy Man • talented man
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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There is nothing wrong with having fond memories of someone from your past. But, obsessing over something that did not work out versus having something lasting and real in your life now, is NOT where your focus should be. If having contact with your ex conflicts you, stop having contact. That way you can focus on the love you have now. Your ex made his choice. He walked away. Let him live with it.
respect your vows. Stop talking to the other man and focus on your marriage.
You need to look at this situation. Your ex could be lying to you and stating he was sick and didn’t want to burden you. I for one think if he loved you and is really telling the truth then he should of talked to you and told you how he was feeling. The grass always seems greener on the other side however your ex is an ex for a reason. Work things out with your hubby.
Childish, childish, childish! You’re inherently unhappy and you’ll always look for happiness outside of whatever it is you’re experiencing. Your ex represents something outside of your current life. He is an illusion! Grow up! I feel sorry for your husband for marrying into such a mess. I hope he leaves you and your troubles behind.
The reason you give for why it ended with your amazing ex: "he disappeared, he stopped calling." LMFAO! This is the great man you can’t get over? The guy who "just stopped calling"? My God! Please look at yourself! Unbelievable.
Very sick? Sounds fishy. Think about that.
When you love someone you just dont up and dissapear. Did he think about how that would make you worry? His answer to you about where he was and not wanting to be a burden sounds like it was taken from a soap opera. Unless their is physical proof that he was sick and that is why he suddenly dropped you then I would be skeptical.
When you are in a commited relationship you need to know that the person you are with will be there for you no matter what and is not going to hide things from you be it bills , friends, girls or health problems.Respect your marraige and your husband. He has repected *you* by sticking around and sticking to you like the other guy should have.
I would also not tempt my self by continuing to talk to the ex, how would you feel if you found out your current husband was talking to some ex of his and saying he that ‘ he loves his wife but he really loved his ex girlfriend more" ?
I think your lonely! And I think that its for that reason that you would even consider having a relationship with this x! He left, not a word just left! that alone tells me what kind of man he is!
If you love your husband you need to work on getting the attention that you deserve from him!
Yeah, it’s never really a good idea to get married after only a year of dating, but it’s an exceptionally bad idea to get married to a rebound guy. Nonetheless, it sounds like you got very lucky. Your husband has been a rock of stability for six years! The ex-boyfriend flaked out on you and is now feeding you some line of garbage involving his miraculous healing. I don’t understand how you can compare the two.
I do realize, however, how intriguing the prospect of the ex must be. What if you had stayed together? What if you had a house and a family together now? blah, blah, blah. Remember: the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. From your ex, you see all of the happy memories you guys had together and an occasional, well-crafted email message. From your husband, you see a world of alarm clocks, receding hairlines, and farting in bed. Learn to find the beauty and joy in honesty. Stop fooling yourself and stop emailing your ex. Trust me, if you cut off ties, you’ll find a way to forget about him.
You need to fix your realtionship with your husband first, your communication about your exbf emailing that you need to tell him whats going on. The reason you are feeling attached to exbf is because all of a sudden he started communication line bringing up memories back when your current relationship w/your husband is ok or needs a little improvement but what marriage doesn’t. Your exbf, whatever the circumstances maybe why he left w/o a word in the past its done. Your a grown woman now you learn from the past. Leave your ex in the past.
Youl will get all these people telling you that you are wrong for your feelings and judge you. First before you decide to ditch a friend and end a marriage you have to decide in your heart what is best.
The first thing you should do is work on the marriage. If it cant be saved then that is what happens. It is possible to have a friend of the oposite sex and have it have nothing to do with cheating or breaking up your marriage. But until your divorced I would advise keeping things between you and your ex, just that a friendship.
Everyone deserves a second chance. And no one should be put down for feelings that are out of your control. Things will work out the way they are supposed to in the end. I wish you the best of luck in all this.
No, you can’t trust him. If he loved you as much as you loved him (or even half as much), he would have talked to you no matter what was happening in his life. Tell the ex that you are extremely happy with your husband and you plan to stay that way and that you prefer that he not contact you. If he loves you, then he will respect your wishes. He shouldn’t even be contacting you knowing that you are married, because you would think that he would know that coming back into your life would cause you stress…and if he loved you, he wouldn’t want you to be burdened by that. I know it’s easier said than done, but you must stop all contact and keep him out of your life. Do you remember how you felt when the ex just up and disappeared on you? Do you want to take the chance of that happening again? Stick with what is real and leave the fantasies to Disney.
Your ex is playin ya, girl. He stopped calling 7 years ago cos he thought he could do better. That relationship probably ended badly and now he’s lonely and wants you at his beck and call cos it’s too darn tiring to go out and get another relationship happening.
You should feel slighted and tell him that he had his chance and blow it.
to be fair to the dude your married to now, talk to him about it …tell him how you feel, and lay it on the line, trust me i know from personal experience its hard to take at first but there is a great deal of respect earned too, and it will in all likely-hood make or break your current relationship, then the decision will be easy for you, if hubby goes off and is a butt-head then go, if he shows love and concern for your feelings and puts fourth effort to show his love and concern for you then he might be a keeper……….been there done that, good luck to you
Follow your gut instinct, your heart, your head, and, whatever else is dictating your innermost thoughts. And remember: If one allows oneself to be "untrue" (and, this; is the ‘crippler’ word – subject to multiple interpretation) they could end up causing (to their ownself, as well as other/s) inner pain. You are in an unenviable situation, same as I was, many years ago. You do not need advice. Just a silent prayer, as well as, the kindest of thoughts and a very special understanding which is now extended towards you and your family (both present and/or ‘future.’)
you are making excuses for not being in love with your husband. cut the crap and be honest.
There is always special feelings for our first loves, I remember mine and that was over 25 years ago. We always have a heart flutter when we see them, but beleive me, they wont be the same as they were back when and you could find yourself unhappier. They would have grown and so will you. They do say never go back, If you ask me, stay married..