Why do I feel that I will never love again, 3 years after my husband died, is this the end of luv for me?

11 Comments

1. Thoughtfull says:

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   You feel definitely that you will never love again, because you are not ready to love again, and you feel sad that you won’t love again, because you really do want to love, and you want, and need to be loved.

   You are holding on to the past, and that is your choice.

   I feel sad for your situation, however perhaps you can have some small satisfaction knowing that you are not alone.

   Many people are going through the same thing you are going through, and many more have been there.

   I myself have married twice in my lifetime, I loved pure and true both times, also both times my wife’s divorced me, even though that was not my desire, leaving my life in broken shambles.

   I will say that it is my sincere belief that loosing a spouse by way of divorce is much more difficult than by death, as I myself have been single now for more than 10 years, and I see my ex-wife’s continuing there life’s happy with other men, while I myself am single.

   For you, you will always know that your spouse always loved you.

   Take all of the time you need, and don’t worry, but always remember that your time with your spouse was very special, and there is no one who can fill his shoes.

   If you ever do decide to get into another relationship, please never judge the next person by the last, just accept them for who they are, and hopefully you will both be happy when the time is right for you.

   I hope this was helpful to you.
2. Marsh says:

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   I have been where you are now, and I know how you are feeling inside, but trust me in time that will pass. You will never forget what you had with your spouse, and you will get to a point that you realize it is ok to move on and that it is what he would have wanted for you. It is obvious you are not ready yet, so try and understand those that ask cant help they are interested and relax…someday hopefully you will feel differently. For now…its ok…good luck to you little one
3. lynda l says:

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   you’re still grieving….there is no magic number on when you will be able to love again but by asking the question you’re in the right direction. Don’t try and stop putting any pressure on yourself that you should be in love…
   Start with the people, friend and family close to you.. their love have been around you. The kind of love you shared with your husband was special and nothing should and will replace it. Just feel blessed that in your life you had the privilege to experience it…now of course it will be different but no less important, just different. It’s Okay for you to move on.
4. ki ki says:

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   I think your getting something wrong here. If he is dead, it doesn’t mean that your love is dead, too. If you believe in life after death, you could see that he is still alive, and if you don’t want to date anyone else, you shouldn’t be sad, cause your gonna be with him, afterward (but don’t think about suicide! =) ). but if you really want to date someone else, just do it. Don’t think of this as a substitute for your love toward your husband, instead, a new friend (or love), you’re gonna have besides him.
5. ~.."Natalia "..~ says:

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   Well you will always love him and he’ll always love you
   so just give your self some time you will know when you
   are ready to date and let someone in you life again and you could love again its all up to you.
   Good luck
6. Gem says:

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   Don’t feel bad, you are not alone in that situation. I felt the same way even after 11 years that my husband died. You feel that way because, your inner mind still can’t accept the truth that it happened to you. After 11 years, i still feel the same way though I don’t close the possibility of being in love again. I always wish that I’m just having a bad, bad dream. That one day i will wake up that it’s just a dream. It’s very hard to forget a very kind, responsible and full of enthusiasm man of my life. But this is reality, we have to move on. We have to live and do what we have to do. And since, according to you, you are sitll young, I believe that your husband will be happy to know if you will open your heart for another love. Though, really, it will be very hard coz as for me, i cannot find someone who can meet my standard when it comes to love coz my previous love has made me set a very high one. God bless us…
7. legendary~cool says:

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   Sorry for your loss….In 1991 my Husband passed away as well,it took me 5 yrears before I was able to get back into dating and society for singles..It takes time and yes I found love again,…I found if I didn’t take dating so serious it made it easier to cope with the loss I still feel today..like yours, he was my soulmate,like no other….You will love again just in a different way,because everyone or man is different..When your ready to move on you will know in your own good time,trust me,..=)
8. ann s says:

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   grieving and loving someone is the hardest thing in the world to get over . finding that someone special who has some of the special qualities that your previous partner had is also very hard as we find ourselves comparing and it does nothing for us, this response could be that we are not over our loss yet and we need more time.
   one day when the time is right I feel sure that what you want in your life will only be a few foot steps away and the happiness that you once enjoyed will return good luck
9. GRUMPY says:

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   Well first, You have my most sincere condolences. I will say a prayer for you as well as your late husband. I am sure he was so much in love with you. You sound like a very very caring and loving woman.
   OK, you feel the way you feel as you are still in mourning. You hav yet come to terms of and with his passing. You WILL ALWAYS love him. As time passes you will become more comfortable with his passing and you will be more accepting with other people. (men) This is in reference to them asking you out. NOT everyone is ready to dating within a year or so. SOME people take more time before they are comfortable with this. Know in your heart that your husband would want you to go on with life, and know that he is watching over you. Take care and GOD Bless you and yours.
10. Haley says:

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    If my husband died I would never love again but I’m pretty independent and that wouldn’t bother me. I don’t believe I could ever love another as much as I love my husband, seriously. Maybe you need to just get a good friend/family base and become more independent. Maybe you aren’t meant to love again, is that so bad? I think not. I wouldn’t want to love again after my husband. He’s the love of my life and I never want to share that again with anyone. Also I’m only 23. So don’t be sad that you may never love again, it isn’t so bad. But if you think you can, time will tell for you. Give it time, three years is not a long time when it comes to grieving.
11. Nirmal Kaur says:

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    I too send my condolences, first off. Second, the sudden loss of your life mate will naturally cause much upheaval. But as said previously, his body is dead, but his soul an your love is not. Don’t feel that is the end of love, instead it is a time for you to redefine, re-examine, and re-express what love truly is. Best thing to do is to show your love continues by doing something he’d truly be proud of seeing you do, and keep in mind everything you’d do as if he were still there. Best thing is do volunteer work if possible. Remember that true love comes from guiding and inspiring others, and our notions of romantic love are only an enhancement. You don’t need to find another lover, just another way of expressing your soul and goodness. Plus, things like volunteering make everyone feel god, and create many strong friendships, and support networks that you will need. Do hope this helps. And I’m attaching a link to some inspiration, do read it. Take care!

    - *ੴ*_ਨਰਸਲ (Nirmal)