My wife cheated again, but I still love her. What do I do?
Back in college (6 years ago), I introduced my wife to one of my co-workers and friends (or drinking buddy). They became friends and repeatedly got too close (going to movies and dinners together, calling each other best friends). The guy is an alcoholic to the point he peed himself almost every night for 6 months, but we always invited him to our parties cause he was a good laugh when awake. About 2 years ago, I moved my wife and I to England so I could pursue my PhD (not to overgeneralize, but I hope this demonstrates how very different I am from the other guy), and before we left she made out with him on 3 different occasions. She told me she thought she had loved him, but didn’t want a divorce. We worked through our problems and she returned to the US to open up her business. So, I lived in England for 2 years by myself and came back about 8 months ago. She just told me her and this guy had sex while I was in England, and she visited him a week ago in the hospital while he was detoxing from alcohol. I love my wife with all my heart. Her and I have been together since we were 15&16. I feel like it is unacceptable to forgive her, but she is the love of my life. What do I do?
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Tagged with: 6 years • alcohol • amp • best friends • co workers • divorce • drinking buddy • england • heart • laugh • love • occasions • phd
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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Move on, clearly you’re not giving her what she needs or she wouldn’t be getting it from someone else. Sounds cold, i know, but life’s too short to mess around with that kinda BS.
Cheating is a Deal Breaker, cut her lose and move on.
I have a better question: why are you going back for more? Oh that’s right. You "love" her. Are you aware that love is just a word that doesn’t mean anything without actions applied to it?
I think your brain knows what to do but your heart doesn’t want to hear it. As long as you let her keep cheating on you, she will. If you were apart for 2 years, the chances are high that they had a long-term affair. You fell in love when you were very young. Now it’s time to move on, grow up, learn about yourself, and find someone who will appreciate you. Good luck
She violated your trust by having an affair. What happens the next time you go out of town. She will do it again. You need to let her go and move on with your life.
ok she needs to learn her lesson before you even THINK about taking her back. i know you love her lots, and she could probably cheat another 20 times and you would still consider taking her back. but the truth is, its obvious she doesnt regret whut she did CUZ SHE DID IT TWICE! you need to give her the cold shoulder, and even break it off ofr a while before you even let her back into your life. its for the better TRUST ME!!! she needs to know how much it hurts you and needs to know WHY she cheats…
Damn, that sucks.
She’ll rinse & repeat, though. You can love her all you want, but she obviously don’t feel the same, or she wouldn’t have did it.
I think you need to face facts and realize that she is a cheater. She did it before you left, and while separated. You can’t trust her. She obviously doesn’t care about the marriage.
Sometimes being the "love of your life" just isn’t enough to overlook other things. Your wife obviously does NOT feel the same way about you, and I’m betting she will cheat more in the future- are you willing to bear that repeatedly, just to stay with her?
I think you should boot her out and move on. She has disrespected you and her vows too much to expect forgiveness.
I think the love of your life should be someone that reciprocates your adoration, devotion, and respect. She doesn’t. Sorry – most of the people on earth have made this mistake.
Hun, there are women with equally great personalities out there…ones that won’t mess around on you repeatedly with a drunk.
Good luck man.
stop loving her, she does NOT love you..take it from a woman.
You need to dump her
She was honest with you. If you want to forgive and forget, then do it. Great marriages are a lot of work and a lot of trial and error as people can be so different. But if she loves you as much as you love her, then give her one more chance.
But if she fails you once again, she doesn’t really love. You need to find someone who can show you the same love back.
You love her but the question is: does she love you ? clearly not enough to respect and cherish the wonderful person I’m sure you are. If she loved you, she wouldn’t had cheated in the first place. You need counseling or time to have a heart to heart and to get real down to the fact as to why she cheated in the first place
Grow up DOC. You are not 15-16 any more and your wife is still a tramp. Dump her and find another.
if you really love her but cant take what she is doing to you then you need to move on because she is not a faithful wife. and she does not loyal you at all…. she betray you as a husband and a spouse….
she’s not trustworthy….
When you get your phd and start making a lot of money she will divorce you and you will have to pay her ,and with that money she and he can live happily ever after. That sound about right ,doesn’t it?
Don’t forgive her. As long as you forgive her you are condoning the behavior. It’s time for her to have some consequences and that means divorce. That should teach her a lesson about fidelity.
Your friend’s an alcoholic. Your wife is just an ear. Shes become his escape goat. Someone to listen to his problems and feel sorry for.
He probably relies on the sex, money and companionship shes giving him.
Maybe you need to talk to him. Let him know that hes ruining a good relationship. He needs to find someone else.
Most people who have been cheated on love the one who cheated on them and end up being hurt just as you are. So loving someone is no excuse to stay. You can love till you are blue in the face but if the one you love does not respect you enough and value your love enough to stay faithful then something has to be wrong. From what you said, you both met young and in my opinion too young to even know who truly is the love of your life. You have not had much experience to base this decision on. Now, you are faced with one or two choices, one, stay with her and trust me, she will cheat again. Or, two, decide that you deserve better. There is no in between these two choices. When someone is called the love of your life it is because they respect and love you and do all they can not to hurt you. She obviously has no idea what it means to be loyal and committed. She does not value the love you have for her. Move on and find a girl who will love you and be faithful to you. Good luck to you!
The Fred is 100 % right.
Your Fault!
Dump the bich, shes not helping you. what a whore, obviously she doesn’t care about you, or your feelings.
Can’t understand her having any sort of friendly feeling for a person of that type, she appears to have no respect for herself, but if you love her, what can you do, it is a hard question to answer, the easy one for someone who who doesn’t know what irrational love is, which describes your feelings, is look at it and say leave her, but that is not easy without all the other complications that happen when splitting up. I would say you can neither forgive or forget, unfortunately you have to go along with it and hope she comes to her senses, I can only hope that you find an answer, I have 3 sons who have been through it, one of them twice.
Open marriage? Three-way?
kill her
kill them both