Before going on, I want to say that I do love my husband and in no way want to leave him. I would greatly appreciate anyone and everyones advice on how I should handle this… and there’s a lot.

To start with. My husband and I have two children. He works part time, sometimes full time depending on the week and goes to school part time. I go to school full time and then take care of the kids the rest of the time.

My husband has always been on the lazier side, but lately he has gotten unmanagable. He puts off his homework until last minute. When he’s at home, he just lays around and does nothing. He doesnt help out around the house. His laziness has begun to affect the children. He pushes them aside, and gets frustrated with them because he either doesnt want to be bothered and would wants to play video games or put his homework off until last minute and is trying to get it done in a hurry. This HAS effected his grades in school. Dont get me wrong, he’s passing, but barely.

My husband has a lying problem. This stems from childhood issues and the household he was raised in. He used to be really bad about it but I thought we had gotten past it, but lately im starting to notice it again. My husband is not good with money. We agree’d I would be in charge of our finances. Things were going great, but last week I caught him lying about taking 0 that was put away (and when we have no money to begin with because we’re both college students, its a big deal). Things have gotten so bad with his laziness, procrastination, lethargic attitude that its tearing us apart. we barely speak, we barely spend time together. Ive gotten to the point where its pointless for me to try to talk to him about things, it goes no where. He either doesnt talk or plays a "pitty me" role and then tries to kiss my butt.

What really got things to a breaking point was last weekend. My husband does not have a good track record when it comes to cars. Hes wrecked every car we’ve had and gotten about five tickets in the two years we have been married. My parents were kind enough to let us buy their car that they no longer needed, and make payments that were convenient for us, and he totaled it last weekend because he was being careless. Believe me, Im happy he is OK, but what makes this difficult is he lied about how it happened. he tried to say something went wrong with the car, but to find out, thats not the truth, and no matter how much you try to talk to him about it, he wont budge with his story (but we know for a fact its a lie) and his story has even started to fall apart, but he still swears by it….. To make it worse is that this was our only car, and we absolutely have to have a car. We had to scrounge every last penny we had, including a small loan from my parents to be able to buy a new car to get us a by. It wouldnt have been so upsetting but now we are even more in the hole due to his carelessness. He doesnt even act like he appreciated that my parents gave us over 00 for a new car, and still has this attitude like "oh well I wrecked the car". It just adds salt to the wound because we had to take the money we had set aside for our 2 yr wedding anniversary (which is on monday!) to go towards the car. And then my birthday, and we have no money for christmas. His carelssness has affected everything. My parents are upset that he was careless with the car (he was speeding 20 mph over the speed limit went around a corner when it was pouring and stormy and hydroplained and hit a telephone pole!). He has an excuse for everything! Ive tried to be understanding through this and bite my tongue but its so hard. When we were dating, he totaled my car. When we were engaged, he wrecked that car. Then after we got married, he wrecked that car… and now this car. Now that we have this new car, ive refused to let him drive it, and I now drive him to work. This has irritated him in turn, and he’s upset at me about that.

I feel that this car issue only makes everything else more clear. Maybe he wouldnt be in such a hurry if he was alittle more organized with life. If he didnt put things off until last minute. He’s so lazy that he’s even letting himself go. We’ll go out, and I’ll be dressed nice, and here’s my husband with hig bushy beard, not cleaned shaved, bed hair, hasnt brushed his teeth and his crack is hanging out for the world to see. its embarressing. Yes I love him but oh my!

I just dont know what to do anymore. Im frazzled over everything. He lies, swears he doesnt, hes careless, hes unmotivated, unorganized, lazy… and he’s even getting this way with our children. Today I was going to go out with my mom. He told me to go ahead and get ready and he would watch the kids. I come out of the bathroom, and he had set our children (who are too young to be left alone!) in front of the TV and went outside about an acre from our house (we’re on 5 acres). I didnt go out there and say anything, but I watched the clock and
I do agree that he is depressed. ive tried talking to him about it, and sometimes he’ll agree that he’s depressed, and other times he gets upset about it. Ive tried expressing how he shouldnt be ashamed if he has to go on meds, but he refuses to go to the doctor about it.


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