my ex used to abuse me. how do i get over it…sry this is long?
when i was 16 (3 weeks from being 17) i started dating this guy from my work who was 21. he seamed really nice until the day we started going out. on our first official day of dating he called me while i was working and was really mad at his mom and told me he was outside waiting for me. he didnt have a car and lived about 20-30 min walking time from my work. after i got done with work i got out to him and he started joking about killing himself and jumping in front of cars and asking me to get into an accident and started telling me about all these times hez "messed up" ppl and that he could "mess me up easily if i gave him i reason to" he made me pay for everything and if i didnt pay he got pissed at me and called me a spoiled, rich, b!tch (which im defiantly not spoiled or rich) he controlled everything i did. i wasnt allowed to play my music in my car, i wasnt allowed to hang out with my friends without him there, i couldnt go hardly a day without being with him. he called me a b!tch, $lut, ect for "teasing" him to much and not giving him any. hed tell me how good he was at sex and all the girls he slept with and where and how i would scream so bad because he is so good and bla bla bla. and accused me of cheating when i wasnt. he made me go down on him once (i didnt want to) and then yelled at me for not being good enough. i broke it off after 3 months and it was oddly easy.
its been about 2 years now since the last time i even herd from him but i still think of him almost every day. i have to drive past his house to get to school so i always think of him when i pass it. i found out a place he hangs out so now i avoid going there. i have trouble getting close to guys and tend to avoid them. and not as often but still sometimes i have nightmares about him coming after me and i get depressed for days over it. every time i hear his favorite song that he used to make me listen to everyday i get flashbacks that are so bad the lead to into a panic attack and i cry for days.
what do i do to get over it? like i was never abused as bad as some girls get it and i wasnt even in the relationship for long. does it sound ridicules for me to get sooo upset over it? i just want to forget him and move on with my life. he took so much from me. i lost alllll of my friends because of him. i went through most of my senior year without any friends and lived that entire year in fear.
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Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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Oh chica this is perfectly ok. Dont compare it too what happens to other people because this was you and not them. Everyone handles things differently. Something like this happened to a close friend of mine. What helps the most is get a friend that you can talk to and let them know everything. You need that support. Getting support will help the depression go away and help you trust again. Its a very scary experience. As for the fear of guys, that is so completely understandable. Give it time, after what you went through it will only take time to get through it. Eventually you’ll meet someone that is different, but you have to know that you can give them the chance. One of the hardest parts of coming back from abuse is giving another chance, not every guy is out there to hurt you, unfortunately you got stuck with a bad on. It is definately not ridiculous. Get out there and try to talk to your friends again because that will make it so so much easier. As for the panic attacks, you should try things that are relaxing such as yoga or like in my case horseback riding is a great de-stresser. horses are also great listeners as weird as it sounds.
Good luck, and I hope I helped (:
You never get over it really..You just have to get through it one day at a time. My ex abused me in every way he could for 15 years. It devastated me into drinking and searching for a way out. I have not seen my ex in 12 years and he has passed away these last four years. I have been in therapy for five years and still get nightmares but I learn to not worry one day at a time. If that’s too much try one hour and advice is not to punish yourself and go near his home it only adds to your pain.