How do I invite My ex-Husband Back?
My ex-husband is a drug addict and in a drug induced state became physically abusive and as a result i pressed charges against him and sent him to jail. he gets out in a month, the baby is due in may. his parents are furious at him and his friends are drug addicts. i am six months pregnant with his baby and he and i want him to be apart of his child’s life. I am torn between letting him move back in to be close to the baby but in a seperate room or tell him to move into a shelter. but i want him to be in an environment that encourages his recovery.
it is nice to hear what i was thinking re-enforced. i agree that he should prove himself. and i know the baby comes first. Hormones and emotions get in the way of rational thought when pregnant.
shelter it is if i cannot find a sober-living house
at this point i think i just want to help out of pity not love the man i loved disappeared once the drugs took over.
thank you all
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Tagged with: drug addict • drug addicts • drugs • emotions • hormones • parents • rational thought • seperate room • six months • sober living
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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I think a sober living house would be a good first stop for about 2 months. If he is still clean, and you 2 are happy after this time, then I would let him move back in, and have a happy family!
You don’t. You let him prove that he’s clean and going to stay that way before you even open the door the slightest bit. Your child would be better off with no father than a drug addict for a father. Now that you are about to become a mom it’s time to realize you are responsible for your baby’s safety and bringing a drug addict around is a terrible idea. It’s takes more to be a good father than just donating the sperm.
You already know how he is – why take him back? You can make a life for you and your child. He has not proven to you that he should be around the baby. Think of your child first.
Tell him to go get him-self sorted out first! as your babys welfare comes first!
MILDRED IS MY LEADER
Please tell me you are not going to let your child be around an abusive drug addict? Please tell me you won’t do that.
There is no way i would let him move in immediately.
He must first "prove " himself.
In otherwords , it is nice to want him to be in the baby’s life, but you must first see proof that he would be a sober father and stay drugfree and get a job….
If you move a drug addict in with you,
it is going to be hard to get him out.
Dont be a sucker. stand firm and make him be a man !
Dont feel guilty about not letting him move back in
right away to be "close" to the baby.
Remember, he made the choice to use drugs. Now, he has to make the choice to be drug free and be a real father…If he gives you any grief, just tell him the choice is his. Either stay drugfree or get lost. Ask yourself if that is what you want to child raised around ?
If you let him move right back in he’ll think that everything is ok and most likely go back to what he was. He’ll view it as you’ve forgiven him and that’s not what you want right now, even if you have. Let him prove to you that he’s changed and can be a better person. Give it a few months to show you that it’ll be different and then let him back in slowly, make him earn it. Taking it slowly is the best way to make any improvements last. Every step you let him take at a slow pace will make him feel better about himself and it will be like a reward for his efforts, he’ll have a much better view of himself and what he’s accomplished.
Your obligation is to your child first and your druggie boyfriend / sperm donor second. You don’t place an infant into a situation that has the potential to spiral out of control and could lead to harm (if not death).
While I can appreciate the desire to want the father around and you probably still love him (despite what he has done), he needs to recover & PROVE he is changed man before he has access to an infant that he could kill in a drug induced state.