Is pretending you don’t want your ex the best way to get him back.?
We were together 5 years and engaged to get married in may. For the first few weeks after we broke up I poured my heart out to him and told him how I couldn’t live without him while he was finding himself. Now I am wondering if playing hard to get is the best way to get him back. If I seem unavailable will it drive him nuts? He swears he loves me he just needs sometime to figure out some stuff.
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Tagged with: 5 years • amp • heart • nuts
Filed under: How To Get Him Back
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i think being open and honest is probably the best way to treat people.
yes but make it convincing date other guys
No Games Usually Don’t Work
i dont know every guys if different. but that actually might work because many guys are jeaulous
you should just take this time to figure yourself out you may find you could spend the rest of your life happier with someone else
the last thing he needs right now is head games
i dont know
lol he needs more time to have sex with other women is what he means…… playing hard to get will just drive him away and playing easy to get will let him know that you will always be that lil puppy waiting for him to come home…. so either way your screwed…… just move on.. find someone who will love you as much as you love them!!! you shouldnt be used as a yo-yo!!
depends what tip of guy he is
No, I’ve found tranquilizer arts and handcuffs (zipties work too, in a pinch) work better than anything else.
For me, any woman who plays games isn’t worth being with for the long haul.
Now, your ex might like to play games.
And that is fine.
But you should know the answer to this question if you’ve been together for five years.
Go get yourself a new boyfriend…! Men hate for other to "urinate their territory"… You’ll have the old boyfriend back BEGGING you to forgive him… and maybe then you won’t even want him back…. Keep your life going and don’t wait for him…
give him a time limit to think. Tell him u love him
Are you SURE you even want him back?? Well, if you do, then yes, the best way to get a boy’s "attention" is to NOT give HIM ANY! So ignore, ignore and more IGNORE! See how fast he’ll be running back! Especially since he needs "all this time" to figure things out!
Well every person vary to another for me i like it when people play hard to get.
what do he need to figure out if he really wants to be with you or what? if so then you are wasting your time with him that question should not even approach his mind after 5 years, but playing hard to get works in some cases but not yours let him know how you feel and see where it goes
Let him figure his stuff out….why play mind games? You’ll probably wind up losing him forever if you don’t give him the time and respect he needs.
That would be one of the worst ideas ever… since you have been with each other so long he may worry that that is what you really want and since he may be having some doubts, he may give up on the relationship all together thinking that that could be the best for both of you! Don’t give up, let him know you care but don’t come on too strong
No, always be straightfoward and direct. However, I am not sure that staying with him is even healthy. If he is so sure of his love for you, then what is he figuring out? I believe he is seeing someone else.
HHHMMMMMM. Normally I would say no but what kind
of stuff is he trying to figure out? I mean you all were together
for 5 whole years and he couldn’t have figured out this stuff
before the engagement? I would say it might drive him
nuts if you just played him off(but it also might backfire on
you).
YES, YES, YES. i would not say theat your should play around with him, but i think that you should concentrate on you and not worry yourself with him. how do you know that this really is the guy for you? take time for yourself. men don’t want to have to deal wit some girl always pouring out their heart an soul to them all the time. they want someone who can be independent in the realationship, and just know that they love one another. maybe you were to clingy. take time for ya self. if its you he wants he’ll be back.
Oh my – when a guy is figuring stuff out it generally means he met some other woman and wants to find out if he made a mistake asking you to marry him. That may not be the case – but I’ve heard of it happening many times. Do yourself a favor and instead of playing hard to get move on without him in your life.
Yes, play hard to get, dont bow down to him any longer. He needs to realize that your not going to be there for him at his every need. He needs to know that your not always going to be there. Dont let him think that he is your life, he’s not. Keep yourself occupied. When he calls tell him your busy and you’ll call him back when you get a chance. Play his game see how he likes it, im sure he’ll come back.
Well it could happen two ways: if you seem unavailable, then it might drive him nuts to the point where he’ll want you back. You know how people always want what they can’t have, or: he might think that you are serious about not wanting him back, and he’ll move on. Some men take things very literal, you have to tell them exactly what you want. If they go for it, great, if they don’t then you have to move on with your life and find someone else.
he backed out of your wedding plans and broke up with you…be honest with yourself , and move on. Chances are he won’t be in the mindset to get engaged again and it wouldn’t be worth your efforts. Don’t just pretend you don’t want him back, but really not want him back. Give yourself time to heal and then start dating again…
No let him find a video of you & me hitting it from the back
Game playing usually doesn’t work. If honestly doesn’t work it’s time to move on. What stuff does he want to figure out after 5 years? Doesn’t sound good.
hmm this is a tough one i can see how you would want to come on here and ask for help well here is my story that is just like yours but mine has an ending and yours is still unfinished
so i was dating this guy for a long time and everything was going great but after a while he started acting weird and things were off between us and i couldn’t figure out why and i poored my heart out to him and i tried so hard to make it work but it just wasn’t and he told me he loved me and he wanted me. he talked all the time to me and said he loved me and couldn’t be without me. but his action told me something else. if he wanted to be with me and he loved me and didn’t want to loose me then why did he end it and why did he treat me like he didn’t want me
well the reason he said he ended it was cus his life was just to crazy and he needed to figure everything out and find who he was and what he is doing in life so i decided to wait for him to come around but one day i was talking to a friend and i found out that while we were dating he became friends with a younger girl and although he didn’t cheat on me he sure did lie to me so i asked him about it and he denied everything but more and more people came up to me and told me that he was a bad guy and he just didn’t have the guts to end it so he decided to lead me on so i can be his fall back girl and he wouldn’t ever be alone and he wouldn’t have to break up with me completely
so i finally wised up and said if you wanted me you wouldn’t have let me go and if you loved me you wouldn’t have dumped me
so think i guess what I’m trying to say is if he really loved you and wants you as much as he says he does then why would he let you go if you love something you hold on to it as hard as you can and pray it doesn’t leave
In your case, I would say to back off and give him that space find a hobby or volunteer and meet new people. The more you pursue someone, the more they seem to back away. Time will come that he will wonder whats up with you ?
Curiosity always kills the cat. Hold out for marriage next time.
Have you heard the saying"Why buy a cow ?? when you can milk it fee ?? The respect just isn’t there for a wife.~~~Jill
you need to tell him cause if you don’t he would find someone else
he is playing you for a fool,, he wants to bed you again, but doesnt want a full blown relationship,
You can’t manipulate people into having TRUE emotions for you. Sure, ‘playing hard to get’ can cause a reaction in some situations, but that reaction is not based on any valid, heart-felt emotion. It has more to do with a guy’s own insecurities than his ‘love’ for the girl if he responds to this type of tactical behavior. It’s a knee-jerk reaction; human nature and nothing more, and as such will not last.
Why don’t you focus on building your own life and making it the best it can be? You seem to be a little needy, which is a sure sign of low self-esteem. Neediness is not attractive to anyone (except co-dependents). You should make a GENUINE attempt to sort out your self-esteem problems, not just hide your issues by PLAYING hard to get.
Our true emotions always show through in the end. Even if he responds to you playing hard to get, you will essentially have tricked him: You will still be the same person he originally wanted space from. The illusion of the confident, cool woman you showed him will evaporate and the relationship will eventually have the same troubles, which will result in the same situation at some point down the line.
If he DOESN’T respond to you playing hard to get, where will you go from there? Back to begging and pleading?
Why are you so afraid of giving him the space he has asked for? Respect his request. Let him find himself and sort his own head out. He sounds like a confused man at the moment, and you are only making things more difficult for him by putting your own needs (or neediness) above his. You are suffocating him.
You must address your desperation to have this man, before your desperation for him pushes him away permanently. Get therapy to help you see the situation more clearly and honestly, as your boyfriend is trying to do. Work on your self-esteem. Feel good about you and your life as a whole, away from anybody else. Be the attractive, confident, cool woman for real. Then you can decide whether you think you should be married to this guy (or one of the others that will be beating down your door).
since pouring your heart out hasn’t worked, u should try this. but if he doesn’t love u anymore not a thing in the world is going to change things.just hang in there and see what happens. but don’t set yourself up for heartache, don’t have any expectations about it now, go out, see others, get a life. absence does sometimes make the heart grow fonder, but than sometimes it doesn’t. just depends if they still love u or not.
as a guy i think it would work well to play hard to get…it might backfire though