My husband and I have a wonderful marriage with one big problem. We will be married 3 years in a few months and together 5 years total. This has always been a problem, and seems to be getting worse with time instead of better. I have 4 children from my first marriage and he has 3. I have very definate opinions on how children should be raised, as I have "been there, done that" so to say. His children are much younger than mine and are being raised in a questionable home enviorment with their mom. When they come for a weekend, week or summer visit, our marriage goes to hell. The kids just left after a week stay and I am still seething over an incident that happened Friday. I am still so angry it is making me physically ill. There is a small part of me that realizes maybe they just don’t know better because of how they are being raised, but after 5 years shouldn’t something click that better behavior is expected at my house? For only the 2nd time ever I am thinking maybe divorce will be the only solution. The last time was over his kids also when they came for the summer. I hate to throw away a perfectly good relationship over some little ingrates, but there it is. In his mind our biggest problem is I am too strict and I do not get over anger easily. Like I said latest problem happened Friday, it is Monday and I am still just as angry as I was 3 days ago. And will STILL be angry when they come again on Friday for the weekend visit. This will make for a horrible visit, and he will most likely cancel (YEAH) in order to save them from dealing with me. He gets along great with my kids, and is a wonderful step-dad, I just can’t pretend the way they are being raised is OK. And I will not change the rules when they come to visit to make the house rules equal. What does that say to my kids? I don’t know what to do. I don’t even want to go home from work, because I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Any advice?
Actually we had great communication before our marriage. We decided TOGETHER what the house rules would be for ALL children. His just don’t behave. And I am sure as one person said they are rewrded for making me miserable. Mommy dearest used to tell them as they got into the car for a visit that they didn’t have to listen to me. Who knows maybe she still does. Whatever else she holds alot of power over the kids. I can fold on running in the house and other minor things. The things I fight with the kids about are Lying, flushing the toilet and washing hands when done (EWW GROSS), not eating what I prepare for dinner, and NEVER cleaning their rooms. Hubby unfourtunately has a work schedule that sometimes opposes his weekend visits. So for the next 3 months when they come for the weekend he will be workin 6a-6p and the ex won’t switch so he can have them his off weekends. SO I AM STUCK BABYSITTING a bunch of ingrates. So there it is, how I have come to truly feel.


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