What do you do when you ex-husband of 3 years wants you back?
I have been divorced for 3 years and my ex-husband has told me that he wants us to get back together, he believes that we can work out our problems and be a family. We were married for 15 years and have a child together. We didn’t have a messy, ugly divorce like some people, we parted as friends and have no problems with one another,.well maybe a few. Please help!!!
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Tagged with: 3 years • ugly divorce
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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I think that you are the only one that can really answer that question. You need too ask yourself some questions and be completly honest with yourself in answering them. Ask yourself.."Do I Still Love This Man?" "Am I IN LOVE with him?" " What reasons did we Divorce 3 years ago?" .".Do I really want him back?"… These are some tough questions that need answers and you need too answer from the heart.
It’s good that you two parted as friends, not many can do that these days. There had too be something you both couldn’t resolve when you were married, or there wouldn’t have been a divorce. Your ex wants too be a family again, but just because you have a child isn’t a good enough reason too get remarried. In fact that would be the wrong reason!! Ask yourself the questions I have suggested and see how you feel. Don’t rush into anything. Good luck in whatever desision you make.
No one can answer this for you, you have to make this descision for yourself, if you heart tells you to do it, then do it, if not then dont! Listen to your heart!
basically, it depends on wether you think the same way!? just because it suits him, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s going to suit you. you obviously divorced for a reason in the first place, what will stop the same problems that lead you there from surfacing again? i think the best idea would be to go to a marriage counsellor first, then make your decision.
Every marriage gets that dull routine into it and people tend to believe that the grass is much greener on the other side. We find out, (been there done it) … it is not true. What ever your hearts are yearning for may never reveal itself and maybe it is each other and you both are just blind to the fact. Sit down and make that list of the good and the bad and find out what side of the scale he really is on.
Ex’s are ex’s for a reason. Why is he wanting you back now? Wasnt the grass as green as he had hoped it would be? And what kind of wishy washy woman are you? Dont turn back now……move on and have some respect for yourself
Okay, I’m not sure why you got divorced if everything was so great when you split. You need to ask yourself why you felt so strongly about ending it in the first place. Also, if he hasn’t worked out those problems in the past 3 years, he isn’t going to when he gets you back. Working out problems is one thing, but to continue with the same old problems isn’t. I wish you luck due to the fact it sounds like you still love him. However, I do hope you will be careful and consider why you ended it in the first place. Then ask yourself, "Am I happier today without him?" Once you answer that question, you will know if you should consider taking him back. Good luck.
Why did you break up? How do you feel about him? And what are you doing with your life now? How does he expect to waltz back in and turn your life around AGAIN? Is he on the rebound from someone else and thinks it will be "comfortable" to be back with you… until the next one comes along? What about your child, how old is he/she and don’t you think it might be more confusing- granted, it’s usually better to be raised by both parents but gee whiz. Most importantly, you talk about what he wants, but what do YOU want?
Sorry, there are more questions than answers but you probably have to start asking yourself some of them. I’m not saying you shouldn’t try again if that’s what you truly want to do, but make sure you are at peace with whatever decision you make and not setting yourself and your child up to be hurt again.
Why did you divorce in the first place? Perhaps sit and discuss this with him, as well as the reasons he believes it would work a second time around. Has he been there for you during the past 3 yrs.? Has he had other relationships? Have you? Has he kept up on his duties as a father? I would really want to explore his reasoning. If he just decided he made a mistake leaving, well . . . most men find out that the grass is not greener on the other side of the wedding ring. That novelty gets old within a couple of years.
If you two decide to make a go of it I would seek counseling and make a plan on how to deal with future strife. Put it into a legal and binding contract – like a prenup (not so much to cover money matters but to make sure that any promises made are upheld). That may be a better option than just relying on a marriage contract (cause everyone knows how seriously everyone takes that these days).
Best of luck!
bang him and fuck him up and set him up
Depends on if you still love him or not. If you do, then I say go for it. Life is just too short to be unhappy. If you think you can work things out between the two of you then hey why not. People make mistakes and people change. If your unsure, why not start out by dating him again. Talk openly about the problems that caused the divorce. See if the wounds can be healed. Just take it slow……..
First you should focus on why you divorced; if those problems can be worked out and you two still love each other then go for it.
I’ve always been told that it is harder the second time around.
after 15 years, you divorced, obviously you couldnt work it out then, what is so different now??
If you love him then get back with him.
You’ve got to find that answer within your heart. Can you take him back and not feel any sort of regret? Is that what you really want? Do you still love him? Will it be the same as when you divorced or has he changed? If you can answer yes to all those questions, then maybe. But you are gonna have to decide that one on your own. Remember don’t do it just for the kid, do it for you too!
Well it depends on a number of things. How do you feel? If you do it an break up again what will your child feel? The most important thing I have been told by people always is AN EX IS AN EX FOR A REASON. If you get back together things will be great at first but just like always the problems that you had before will still be there they are not going to go away just because you were apart for a few years. Good Luck on you decision.
Took him too long to figure it out. Move on.
How do you feel about it? This kind of thing does happen, especially if the divorce was mature and friendly (or at least not hostile).
If you love him still and want to be a family again, then why not give it a go? However, make sure you have both put your problems and reasons for divorce into perspective. They won’t just go away the second time around…you have to work at them, and hopefully you are both ready for that now.