Im in love with my wife all over again?
A few weeks ago my wife had an affair on me and told me about it. I was devastated and crushed. Well after talking about it with her I decided that I loved her to much to get a divorce. She ended all ties with him( changed phone numbers, e-mail, even her job) and we are getting past this just fine.
One thing that surfaced was how I haven’t been there for her and how alone she has been for the past year. I have been spending to much time with my friends and drinking. I feel horrible that I have let our marriage get to this point, but now vow to change.
My question is: After all that I have been through with this, is it odd that I love her more now than I ever in my life have. Even after what she did (which I forgive her for)?
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Tagged with: divorce • e mail • job • love • marriage • one thing • phone numbers • ties • vow
Filed under: How To Get Her Back
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I don’t find it strange at all. If you are able to forgive her and move past this I think its great to work your marriage out. I really believe people jump too fast into marriage and into divorce. We all deserve a second chance… I am sure if the roles were reversed that she would forgive you also. Now if it happens a second time I would not be as forgiving. Sounds like you both reconnected and you fell in love with her again. And from what you mentioned you really feel that you haven’t been there for her for awhile and not making her a priority and I am sure there are more things going on.
Good for you in working out your marriage. I am not condoning cheating at all.. but I do believe in making your marriage work
Not at all. You guys are weak fools.
Yes, I’d say it’s more than a little odd you’d suddenly love her more after the ultimate betrayal. Maybe time for a counselor.
even if you were ‘gone’ a lot, she’s the cheating wh.0.re. So she needs to vow to change as well. Cheating is unforgivable in my book. But you love her more because you just recently connected with her on a deeper emotional level, it’s not really odd, but keep an eye on her…
I think it is odd, simply because your wife did forsake you and did very possibly the worst thing you could do to a marriage. Having said that, there are many people on here that have said that cheating saved their marriage. Good luck to you and your wife and I wish you a long and, from here on out, happy marriage. Better not trip up, though. Who knows what she’ll do if you start ignoring her again. . .
not odd at all. men are controlling and possessive. the idea of another man having your wife put you on over drive. report back on that love you are feel’n in about 6 months.
Try counseling . Make sure you are both on the same page,now.
Absolutely not. It sounds like you’ve always loved her and had a deep appreciation for her, but may have unknowingly taken her for granted, and it’s easy to do both ways. It’s fun to fall in love over and over again with your spouse. You feel like you almost lost one of the most important things to you in your life and it’s not unusual to have a renewed appreciation for her because of that. I agree with Pyar you should go to counseling to make sure you’re on the same page but, you two sound like you are going to be just fine.
NO YOUR FIGHTING FOR WHAT IS YOURS THAT SOMEONE ELSE WANTS.YOU ALSO NEED TO GIVE HER THINGS LIKE FLOWERS HAVE THEM SENT TO HER JOB SO EVERYONE CAN SEE THAT THAT YOU LOVE HER AND THAT SHE IS LOVED.WE LOVE THAT STUFF.HAVE FUN WITH HER TOO,MAKE A FOOL OF YOURSELF KEEP IT INTERESTING.BUT DON’T SMOTHER HER.IT WILL MAKE YOU SEEM TO INSECURE..GOOD LUCK.
No. I think sometimes seeing that vulnerable side to a person (or a different side to that person) can sometimes do something to you. I couldn’t react to my partner in this way- I would be too hurt- but obviously you feel some sort of partial blame in this situation. Whether that is right or wrong is not for me to say. I just hope you stick to your promise to change, and I hope she doesn’t let you down. Good luck.
More power to you. That’s awesome that you have such a forgiving heart and aren’t taking for granted your wedding vows…for better or worse. There is too much divorce in this world and if guys can overcome this than hopefully the bond in your marriage becomes stronger. Never bring up the affair again, though. In order to move on and stay focused in your marriage, don’t bring up the past. What’s done is done, forgive and forget. You guys should take a trip together somewhere-start fresh.
Awwwz that’s really sad.I think you should talk to her and try to work it out with her.From my point of view I don’t support divorce neither developing distances between two.I always heard true love always comes back so why not try once/twice?It not gonna hurt you.Only two of you will have a wonderful life.Wish you all the best dude.
Emotions run high after an emotional trauma like this. You hit a crisis point, emotions will be on a real roller coaster. Nothing like coming close to losing someone to see what you really want.
Things where easy and you both took each other for granted. You didn’t to that alone. Your wife may have been lonely, but she always had a choice. She could have told you about her feelings and made her demands before she betrayed your trust. You made mistakes also, but you didn’t make that choice for her.
Together, you can work on strengthening your marriage, building stronger personal boundaries and learning to meet each others emotional needs.
Many couples go through a ‘honeymoon’ period as they try to reconnect. Even heard it called "hysterical bonding" on some recovery sites.
You don’t love her more, you just remembered how much you did before. Hang on, there are lots of ups and downs as you rebuild after a crisis like this. Marriages can survive this. Use this crisis as a starting point to building a stronger relationship. Trust tends to take a beating after an affair. It takes time to rebuild. Sounds like she is off to a good start by ending all contact with this other man.