My boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend wants him to get back together for the sake of their child, what should I do?
I’ve been seeing an amazing man for a few months now. I recently found out that before we met, my boyfriend had been thinking about getting back together with his ex-girlfriend. (who is going through a divorce of her own right now)
He says that if his child weren’t involved, he wouldn’t even consider going back to her. But now he says he’s torn because he is in love with me, but he also wants to do what’s right for his child.
I don’t know what to say to him. I’m terrified that he’ll take her back, we have a great relationship/chemistry together. But I also understand that his motives are more driven out of love for his son.
Should I try to convince him to stay with me? Or should I let him decide without any influence from me? I’m afraid this whole thing will turn into a battle of ‘who fights for him harder’. I’m not like that, if he chooses me, I want it to be because he loves me, not because I had the ‘better argument’.
Any advice, anyone?
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Tagged with: chemistry • divorce • ex girlfriend • great relationship • love • Met • motives • sake • weren
Filed under: How To Get Him Back
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Sounds like getting back with the woman he impregnated is a good idea. The baby would probably appreciate having 2 parents.
Frankly, any man that abandons his girlfriend and their baby doesn’t sound all that "amazing". I think you should dump him, unless you don’t think you could do any better than Mr. "Amazing" with his family drama.
You need to let him decide this on his own but maybe let him know this….
Doing "what’s right for his child" doesn’t mean being with someone you do not love. He can still be an excellent parent w/o being in a relationship with the childs mother.
Good Luck!
u say he luvs u,but do u luv him to?
dont try to convince him to stay w u. u cant force him. he is w u now, not her anymore. i understand about doing whsts rite 4 teh child. thats great. i say u 2 should stay together but let him c his son and x.
u dont have to let him go completely. u just have to share him. now im not saying he can cheat on u, heck no. just talk to him about it n tell him how u feel.
Good Luck
“-Anna-“
Getting back together with a woman he wouldn’t even consider going back to except for the child, is NOT doing what’s right for the child. That’s misplaced guilt. Being with someone you don’t want to be with is not a great role model for the child. Unless of course he really wants to go back to her, but doesn’t want to own up to those feelings.
Personally, I’d take myself out of the equation…. "I know you have a difficult decision to make, call me when you’ve decided. I sincerely hope you seek help to get over the guilt you feel about the child.’ Then walk away.
If he is in love with you -that is the end of the ex’s story! To say he is torn or any other excuse, tells his different story-he still has obligation and rights to see his child and be the father he should be.
this shed light for me =the way to honor is in true friendship that leads to Marriage. Relationship with another is a gift from God, if you truely love someone you commit to them. Marriage is to put it into writing telling the whole world that you are legally together in honor-lots of guys will say they love someone and live in with them yet as someone said to me =
Best Answer – Chosen By Voters
I agree with "Makemeaspark" about guys that say they love and commit but wont marry, "The heart is decietful." Jeremiah, but it is not just the hurting ones that fall for believing a guy when he says he loves you, and lets be together. Sometimes you believe because you believe (in innocence) that truth and lies are obvious. And in your arrogance (or youth) you think you can tell the difference. You trust and are deceived, and there are those who are loyal even after the deception is revealed, out of duty, out of fear, out of a misguided loyalty…wow it still hurts. Sometimes they stay because they feel stupid and worthless and have no where else to turn. They feel like they deserve the punishment of being unloved, because they were untrue to their own moral compass, and unfaithfull to God. So they stay untill they are discarded. 3 Votes 43%
this helped me as raised a Jew to see the deaper truths to believe too=Christian means a follower of the Messiah-who came as a Jew- the believer in Jesus-has power over the mind to control their thoughts, thus when Jesus says to forgive and let Me handle it, or about lust is adultry against God, or hate is murder in the heart, we have the calling to cast down all imaginations that exault themselves against God which brings true peace and joy to our heart in all situations (Philippians 4:4-20).
My Jewish people believe in the comming of a Messiah, and his fulfillment is in Jesus. The laws of Judaism were given specifically to the Jewish people to be kept and to guide them to the promised Messiah.
Isaiah 9:6 the child to be the Son given, the mighty God and the prince of peace..
Isaiah 52:13-53:12 To be the exalted one. To first be marred more than any man, and to lay down his life to make atonement for our sins.
The way I came to know him is by believing what he spoke to us from heaven (Revelation1:1 chapter 1 verse 1 & 3:19&20 "I love you and ask you to repent of your sins (even one lie) quickly. Behold I stand at your heart door and knock If you hear my word and open the door, I will come in and be your friend."
so I prayed "Jesus I am sorry for my sins, come into my heart and help me, be my friend, amen."
Its all good and now as a Jew who has come to know Jesus is my Messiah, savior, and best friend giving me joy beyond words and power to live right. And someone said this for me telling them this too
Praying the best for you in every way, David
You shouldn’t fight for him like he’s an object. Allow him to make the choice about things by himself. Let him know that you are there to support him in whatever and that you respect his choice. I would gently tell him that being together with a girl just for the sake of a child isn’t always the best idea. If it is only a child bringing two people together, they can end up resenting one another AND the child. Some people simply do not belong together. However, if he truly loves her and his son, you need to respect his choice even if it does hurt you. If you truly love him, you will love him to be happy.
How old are you? If you’re 25+ and ready to take the responsibility of having a baby… then yeah, go for it. But I want to tell you that once you have a child you would be tied down. No freedom to go anywhere anytime with out the baby. You cannot leave the house asap because you need to prepare the baby. I know this from my own experience. My man is married with 2 other children. And I thought he was amazing when we first met. I convieced because I wanted a baby not to keep him. In some ways having a baby draws men away because of the responsibility but at the same time its harder to break up because we do have a child. I am so happy i didn’t get pregnant when i was younger, even though i wanted a child then. Knowing what i know now I am happy because I at least lived my life having fun. Now i can concentrate at being a mom in my late 20’s. he might stay with you or not if you have a child. if you think about it why he left the other woman? if he really loves you then he would be with you. ANd reassure him that you would be a great stepmom for his son. maybe then he can think to himself maybe i can have both my son and the girl i love.
I’m actually in this situation myself. Actually the pregnant mother of my child is what used to be the best friend of my girlfriend. But this situation caused issues in their friendship. They both want to be with me but i’ve chosen to be with my girlfriend. But i do have guilt that the mother of my child has to be alone through this even though i care about her, just can’t see myself with her anymore. It really is a constant battle though. Jealousy on both sides. I’m constantly feeling the guilt and don’t want the mother of my baby to be unhappy. But i don’t feel it’s right to be with someone when i love someone else and i dont want that example set with my child. Thats what i grew up with and my parents were miserable and only stayed together for the sake of us kids. But i wasn’t blind and saw exactly what was going on. Basically i feel i’ve made the right decision.