Can you ever really love again after a really bitter divorce?
You think you have true love, a beautiful life, wife and kids. Then bam, your whole world is turned upside down. How do you not become a cold, heartless person. How do you ever let anyone close to you again?
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Tagged with: bam • beautiful life • bitter divorce • life wife • love life • True Life • true love
Filed under: How To Get Her Back
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The answer is time. It takes time and plenty of it. Spend that time on yourself and with your kids. Figure out what you want and what you enjoy before you rush into another relationship. I spent 3 years on my own after my divorce and about a year ago I met a really great guy. By then I had dealt with my baggage and was ready to start over. Spen enough time on you own that you don’t mind being on your own a little bit. It is good for you and it is good for your kids to have your undivided attention for a while.
The human heart heals faster than what you think… Let it do its work…
It takes time but it can happen. it hurts and requires healing but trust me you can get through it and sometimes it’s all for the best.
You realize that the person you married may have done you wrong BUT everyone in the world is NOT like that -you understand that you must not make the innocent suffer the consequences of the guilty.
Wow…this is a bad time for you. The only way to really love again is to find and be together with the right person. The ONLY way you can chalk this one up is to experience. If she were the right one you would NOT be getting a divorce.
it will get easier in time.You will find love again.
Give your heart time to mend.
Give it some time. You picked the wrong one. Its okay there are a million more to choose from.
Like the others said, time, time time…
I have been alone for 8 months now and am "starting" to open up :p
Note how I quoted it…I am still very cautious and guarded.
Good luck!
Time! Also, find things that interest you. After divorces, people feel a disconnect from who they are, because for years they were Me and ____. If you find ways to live again, your heart will thaw! Spend time knowing your self. When you feel good on your own, you’ll start wanting company. Trust me. Nature made us resilient for a reason!
All love is true, or else it isn’t really love. However reality is that love doesn’t necessarily last forever.
Yes, you can love again (as strongly or even moreso) if you allow yourself to. Remember that all women in the world didn’t end your relationship. If you are angry, make sure you are angry at who or what turned your world upside down, don’t try to blame it on those who had no part in it.
When you are ready, then get back into Life and dating and see what the world has to offer you. You’re not the same person you were when you married, not only due to your marriage ending, but because you’ve likely grown and changed as a person over the years due to being married and having kids and your job/career, etc.
Give yourself time…and remember that if you choose not to open up and love again, that’s your right…and it will keep you from getting hurt again. But what will you be allowing yourself to miss out on?
I’m a woman, but I had ‘a really bitter divorce’ situation … the guy is actually now in prison … but I made ‘best friends’ with a man who ‘didn’t want to look for a woman’ as I didn’t want to look for a man, so we ‘pretended’ to be ‘going together’ to keep other people from ‘coming on’ to us … then … OOPS … we were IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER, but not until we had a ‘long talk’ and had agreed to ‘explore the romantic path together’ … and we’ve now been married for 10+ years, and we are both ‘together forever and beyond’ … so yes, you can love again … but perhaps not by ‘looking for it’ but by ‘falling in love by accident’ …
Love is something that no one can explain. No matter what if it wants to find you it will and if you loved once and saw at one time how beautiful it could be there no saying that it cant happen again with someone else. Live your life to its fullest and your "real true love" may find you.
Only time can heal the heart. Take the time. Don’t let one bad apple destroy the rest of your life. Being bitter, cold, heartless and restfull only hurts yourself at the end.
You don’t become bitter because it will not solve anything. It will only serve to make you miserable by reminding you of a bad time in your life. Make yourself useful…don’t give into self pity. That wonderful woman of your dreams won’t be attracted to a cold heartless person, and I doubt that that is the real you.
Give yourself some time to heal, but don’t turn into someone that you don’t even like. God Bless and good luck!
1st off it takes TWO to make a marriage work.
but yes you absolutely can love again you just have
to find forgiveness in your heart for it to heal before
that can happen though.
Love is simple enough that you can learn to love again. The most important thing is to back track your faults and the exs faults. learn from that and seek god for healing and you shall make it.
The first step is looking at the situation you went through. What is the lesson that you were suppose to learn from it? There is always a lesson in a struggle that we go through. It can be that you need to learn relationship skills, or that you need to learn to be the director of your own life. It could be that you need to release old patterns and habits that are destructive to you. Become an observer of your own life and you will find the truth.
Secondly, once you have worked through all of the baggage that came from the marriage, you need to open your heart again. This can be very scarey. If you open your heart, you make yourself vulnerable to being hurt again. Only then can you experience love.
It’s not easy. Counseling helps. Knowing that we’re all different helps. I don’t think it’s healthy to be to close to anyone. But then I went through this too. I just went out, made new friends and kept some of the old ones. Although, in my marriage, I knew it wasn’t love. I like the other answers better than mine.
It takes time to heal from being hurt. It’s even more difficult to even comprehend that it could ever be possible to have happiness when your hurting – but believe me – it can and does happen. Give yoursef time. In that time, focus on you – your wants & desires & what you really want. What were your interests that maybe you set aside because there were priorities in your marriage. Were there things you wanted to do but could not – do them.
In your journey to make yourself happy again you will find someone – just be sure to never settle.
Its been two years for me and i’m still wondering myself. It takes time. But they all say itll get better. I’m hoping it gets better soon.
Why not?
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
A Time for Everything
1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
My husband before he met me, was very cold and bitter, he was with the same woman for almost 27 years, and they have 3 grown children, when they met they were young and fell very much in love, but time changed things, and she was distant and cold to him, she claimed to be ill, but she seeked company from other men and women, he was crushed, she expected him to just put up with her shit forever, he finally divorced her. He even taught of dying, and he even wished his life over, but this little light inside of him kept holding on to hope. The day we met, it was instant on my part that he was the one, and I could see in his eyes he had suffered long and hard to the path to me. It was magic from the start, we got married this past October and every day has been a slice of heaven. The number one thing to do is to let go so that someone else can come close to you, he wasn’t quite there but together we found our way, so do think positive, as one day magic could happen for you. "Rascal Flatts-God Bless the Broken Road" you got to hear that song.
Once you get through the hurt and grieving process, truly, you will want to start dating again. And many times the second time around is much better. Because now you are much wiser from it all and you will know what you want (and what you don’t want). She will too.
Just remember that the new poeple coming to your life are not at fault for your bad marriage. If you start getting even with other women, you will not be happy.
If you start getting a negative attitude about your divorce you will find happiness. You have to accept that something bad happened to but learn from it. Be better man, stronger. Learn from all that bad experince. When you start doing that you will be at peace with yourself which is so important when coming into a new relationship.
I came from a bad divorce and now found true love with my new partner, but it’s all about what attitude you take!
Good luck
Personally, I held on to the fact that I took the high ground and followed through when he cowarded and still am. I know that he will have pay, as there is a God and it is his institution that we entered into, and he must have an answer! Interesting also is that I met someone online and I never intended to meet this person at all, and never did, but I wanted to engage in communication to get a feel for the dating climate and how I might be received after a long marriage, and I fell in love with the essence of the qualities that this person presented. I now know that there is something that I am fiercely attracted to in a man, and it is a seriously unrelenting quest that I desire to have in my life. The actual person was a loser in life, but the specific qualities that I was attracted to, prove intensely worth the experience. So, I say keep communicating, and when it clicks, that’s the ticket. I appreciate my growth and find it liberating and sexy. All the best.