How to you get your husband to love you again? PLEASE HELP ME!! PLEASE!!!!?
What bothers me is he doesn’t tell me he loves me. He never was a mushy man, he is very very masculine and always has a shield up. But he would say it maybe a couple times a week.
Now a day I will tell him "I love you" and he either nods or says "outstanding". He does not hold hands, he does not touch or play. We do not have sex very much. I come on to him almost everyday but he says "to wait till later", but when he is ready it is 1am -5am, and I like to sleep from 11pm -6:30am. Most nights if I go to bed before him he won’t join me. He would rather sleep on the couch. he says our bed hurts his back. But he blames me that we "never" have sex. (never meaning 4-5 times a week).
But sometimes he does the sweetest things. He will cook these huge gormet meals for me when I get home from my jobs/school. He does this 4-5 times a week. When he gets drunk he tells me he loves me, and sometimes he would grab me into his arms and dance and sing Sinatra.
But for the most part he doesn’t even look at me.
He is in the Navy and when he comes home from a couple weeks out to sea he won’t even kiss me he will just say " What do you want for dinner"?
I don’t know if he loves me anymore and I don’t know how to make him love me again.
He told me to get a second job even though I am a full time student, so I did. He wants his house spotless, so I clean constantly. I don’t know what else to do to make him happy. When he is happy I am happy, and I have not been happy for a long time.
What do I do? Oh, and he doesn’t believe in going to a marriage therapist. He thinks psychology is mumbo-jumbo. Even when that is the field I am studying.
PLEASE HELP!
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Tagged with: 5am • couch • couple times • couple weeks • dance and sing • full time • Hold Hands • jobs • long time • Love Help • marriage • marriage therapist • mumbo • navy • Psychology • second job • sinatra • sleep • sweetest things • time student
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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As a military wife i can say i can relate, i see so many military guys who refuse counseling because they don’t think they need it, don’t believe in it ect.. What it boils down to is they don’t wanna face the fact that there may be problems and they might be at fault. I say you have to love yourself before he can so if you doubt yourself, don’t love yourself how can he? Put down your foot and tell him how it is, direct and blunt is all military men seem to get. I had to kick mine out of the house completely to make him see he was stepping all over me. He straightened up and now we r happier.
men in uniform are like that honey, welcome to the club. they are ‘cold’ and ‘distant’….its just their personality. some women find it hard together with the fact that they are always away. you have to be independent and act ‘normal’ when he comes back….if you act like you dont miss him (eventhough you do) then they ll open up faster and be more friendly cuz they think something is ‘up’ or that u are not that into them anymore and they ll try to please u instead…its called reverse psychology and its the only thing that works sometimes…try it. gd luck
u know,? i had to read this a couple of times to really understand it. im 16 so all i can really tell you is that it sounds like u two are sorta driffting apart. so maybe you guys can spend more time together and possibly "make love" more ofen to do this u got to get him in the mood, so like seduce him against his will if hes not interested. u know he wants u to so it is technically ok cuz u cant rape tha willing:) just try and talk to him and work things out. u know like ask him how his day was and what he did. hope for the best. good luck
He is suffering form a common malady – when people get married they somehow think that courtship dies where the marriage begins. It take two people BOTH putting forth effort. If he doesn’t believe in therapy – fine, you need to go and get yourself clear on what is happening. The marriage is in trouble and you need to plan what can be done to save it and what you might have to face if it cannot be salvaged.
I think he still loves you but he is in the military and military men can be a little less affectionate towards their wives. Its not that they dont love them but its just that they have been through so much that they become more tougher and less sweeter, I mean they spend so much time around other men that when they get home its hard to turn on that sweet switch on. My best advice is to talk to him about it and tell him you feel a bit neglected and you would like more affection from him not just when he drinks. Tell him that you are not asking for much just a little more i love you’s. Also when he gets home from being far away try cooking for him instead being the other way around, it might be hard because you work 2 jobs but try to do it a little more you know how they say you get to the heart through the belly lol and also wear something sexy at night….buy the kamasutra it really helps to bring that flame back.Good Luck!
Did you get fat?
lose some weight and stop talking see how that works
All these answers from women saying ‘military men are like that’ make me laugh. My husband of 11 years isn’t!
You’ve got a serious problem. This isn’t about the fairly common situation where a couple get ‘used to’ each other and don’t make the same level of effort, this is a man who spends two weeks at sea and doesn’t kiss his wife on his return, and who would rather sleep on the sofa with a spurious excuse, than with his wife.
I think he has fallen out of love with you and he is simply going through the motions. I don’t know why. Sometimes it simply happens or there could be someone else. You are studying psychology, so you know that the only way to find out is to talk with him about it but you are going to have to push, and I fear that you may uncover something you don’t want to hear.