What is the point in trying to save your marriage if your spouse have an affair?
I just don’t understand the logic behind it ! there will always be resentment,yet some still hang around for the bitter pain !
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Tagged with: bitter pain • Logic • marriage • resentment
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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Some people have a lot to lose and cant start over !
If sex was the only factor then it is easier to get over it!
As long as no std or kids emerged from it ,you can probably work it out !
some of us actually got married for better and for worse.
Worth saving or not worth saving is in the eyes of the beholder. To someone else, you could be a fool but then again you do not live for those people.
Not all, but for me i would rather set him free.Its not Gods plan if one mate have an affair.They should be true and honest,but if my partner have an affair,i would give him what he wants, and i will fix my self and move on.
some just have a hard time letting go
Well it all depends on the relationship and the people. If the person that had an affair wants to make it work and is willing to change and the other person is willing to forgive them some couple can make it work. Takes 2 very strong people.
I’m thinking that before someone cheats, there are signs ahead of time. And assuming that you really knew the person you said "I do" to and if they still cheat, then something along the way has changed. People do change as they grow older. Hopefully, you change together and not grow apart as time goes on. But if you have a lot of time together, you have a lot of memories, maybe even children together, and it could be worth salvaging. I’m not saying the person would be forgiven for cheating, because I think marriage is based on trust. I think that the person who was cheated on has a right to be suspect of the person who cheated, and the one who cheated has to prove that they can be trusted again. I would think that could take a long time.
There is no logic to relationships. Some people honor the vows they swore to uphold in front of family, friends and God. Others don’t believe in God. They believe that there are no consequences for ignoring their vows and cheating on their spouse. So, what the heck. I should just go for it and enjoy breaking the heart of the person who loves and trusts me.
To me, a marriage vow is a very solemn vow that should be followed until your spouse breaks it. if my wife wants to fool around with some other guy while married to me, then she does not want to be married to me. Once she has broken the vow of being faithful to me "until death do us part", then our marriage contract is broken and it is time for divorce.
Love and logic don’t always work together.
It is an individual thing, and can only be answered by the parties involved. Obviously it is a difficult time, and the marriage has to be strong enough to survive it. Usually, if it is the woman that is cheating, it makes it much more difficult because of the male ego. Women tend to have more forgiveness, more understanding, and the ability to forget the past.
It is just like any other transgression, if you hold it over someone and constantly bring it up, then it will cause harm.
Right on sam , GOOD JOB, no cheating.
I personally don’t know how people do it. I couldn’t do it, I’d never be able to trust him again. I have two friends who have taken back husbands who were cheating on them and guess what – in both cases they found out their husbands were cheating again. Both decided to end it after he cheated a second time (or second time they knew of)
None. Most people have a fear of being alone and would rather be unhappy together than happy apart. I know for me in the beginning of my ex husband cheating I was still trying to work it out. I was afraid of splitting my young family up, raising my daughter on my own and dating again. I am glad that I let the loser go his own way…he is still unhappy, still cheating on the woman he left me for, and has no relationship with his daughter. Im glad I can give myself and my kid a real chance at a real family so she has a positive model to look up to when she is ready for marriage and kids.
Oh dear… How about this? Either you are Christian or not, you made a vow front of God. Don’t you think that it is something you want to keep your promise? It’s hard not to think about your spouse affair… Trust me…. I am going through that myself right now so if you spouse cheated on you, I know how you feel. I happened to come across this site & hopefully it will help you. http://www.marriagebuilder.com
It tells you how to save your marriage if you want to. If you have no desire to save your marriage, what is the point even trying? Yes you are hurt & just can’t get over it… Read the section coping with infidelity… Make sure try not to point finger at your spouse for what she did… Good luck
when someone has an affair it permanently changes the whole relationship into something different. it does forever hurt, nothing will ever be the same either. but some people can forgive easier than others, its all about ones belief system and how they see life. I personally would not want to stick around with someone who thought so little of me that they had an affair rather than talk to me about what was wrong.
If my wife cheated and i found out. I would be living alone that evening.
Cheating the first time is a deal breaker Instantly That minute.. There would be no words to fix it. We both know it.