my husbands ex wife has died and his children are currently with her husband, can we just take them back ?
My husband has parental responsibilities from the court, and her husband does not, She died 2 weeks ago and no one informed us, We only found out when the CSA told us the claim had been stopped.
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Tagged with: csa • Ex Wife • parental responsibilities
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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if he has a relationship with the children and they want to be with u.
The children need to slowly adjust & be with whomever they feel most comfortable.
ya he has to take care of them n u shud too..
With minimal information its impossible to give an informed answer to this. Are the children attached to this man? Regardless of who is the biological father you need to take into account the feelings of these children first. They just lost their mother. Do you want to take them from another person who they are close with too and further traumatize them? Everything of the life that was familiar to them when their Mother was alive will essentially change overnight. Put yourselves in their position and have a heart. I don’t know how old the kids are but please don’t rush into court on this. The children will thank you later for doing what is best for them!
"…parental responsibilities from the court…" Does that mean he was an active particpating parent to those children, or just thathe paid the court ordered support?
I would think that as their father he would be their closest living relative, and providing that he has been in active contact – visitations, etc, he should be making arrangements to bring them to his home. If he is a relative stranger to them, having the children lose their mother, and so soon after, the only family they know would be cruel. Perhaps an adjustment period where he could get to know them again would be appropriate.
Several factors have to be considered.
Did the step Dad have a close relationship with those children too? If so it would be cruel both to him and to the children to stop all contact between them. After all the man just lost his wife, don’t allow him to lose the family you share too.
Are there other children involved, a child between him and the ex wife? They need to keep in touch with their half brothers and sisters too.
Are you two in a position to have those children full time? Have the space, the beds, etc?
The focus should be on what’s best (and least traumatic) for those children. The adults involved should be willing to work together to make that a reality.