What do you do to get an ex-husband to love you again?
Tried everything with this guy I was married to for 8 years. We had 3 of our own children and one from a prior marriage. After our divorce, he tried to get back together with me, but I was happy with things the way they were and wasn’t ready. I would spend nights over at his house because he wanted me to and I was lonely too. And then, boom ,he met someone, and now when I thought we were working things out, all has beenspoiled because of this other person. What do you do in a situation like this? What can I say to him now? I feel betrayed, and am concerned that he is thinking the grass is greener on the other side. He is so infatuated with this woman. Any advise? I would like to be a family again. My kids are confused, and counseling would have saved our marriage. I can not talk to him… Is it true that love is blind. I keep telling him that this woman is not going to work out for him.To top it all off, the weekend that he doesn’t want the kids,he is taking vacation with her
Related Information:
Tagged with: 8 years • boom • counseling • divorce • Grass • grass is greener on the other side • love • marriage
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!
You posted a question a few months ago saying that you were bored with your dull marriage and that you didn’t realise it would be so much hard work, so it seems that not only did you get married without realising the consequences of your decision but you then made the same mistake when you got divorced. Why did you wait until after the divorce before trying to work things out?
The bottom line is that you were not interested in a reconciliation until he got a girlfriend, sorry but his obligation to you ended the moment your divorce was finalised and you have no right to expect anything from him least of all compassion.
Well you said it, he met someone else. I know you want to get back together as family again but there’s nothing you can do to try to get him back if he doesn’t want to be back with you. Most likely he was just trying to get over you at the time and now he’s moved on. I suggest you do the same.
You weren’t working things out, he was using you. Until he met someone else. This guys a jerk. You have been betrayed. And stop blaming the woman. He was the one making you believe you were working things out. I’m sure your kids are confused. Counseling can only save a marriage if both partners are willing to work on the marriage. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. Don’t let him. And don’t keep trying to "fix" things for him. If it doesn’t work out with this woman, and it probably won’t, don’t be there waiting for him. Don’t be a door mat. Don’t let him use you. And hold him to his visitation schedule. He owes it to the kids. If he wants a vacation with the new girl friend, he can schedule it when he isn’t supposed to be seeing the kids. what an ass.
if he is infatuated with her he won’t listen to you. later, with time, he will figure it out whether he stays with her or not. and he will start seeing children again. i am sorry but there is nothing u can do about it. i had the same situtaion with my ex husband but i was in a place of your hubby – i met a man and my ex was trying to get me back. tried even using violence. nothing worked. i met a new man, fell in love with him and now we re married and still in love. so there is nothing u can do to get him back. his mind is elsewhere
Theres a book called" first aid for a wounded marriage",excellent book,this book saved me,when i was going thru what you are now! Let your husband alone,do not contact him, if he finally realizes he loves you,he’ll be back,but if you pursue him,he’ll run even futher from you! when all else fails (God doesnt) turn to Him! Pray.He will hear you,He is close to the broken-hearted!
you dont want him..u just dont want her to have him. thats just selfishness..let this man live his life. I had an ex like that..she was paying me no mind and when i found somebody all the sudden she remember that that she loved me. Too little too late. I told that chick that love is a two way street and she just got run the hell ova….
It is plain and simple to see that he DOES NOT want you. Why do you keep trying to get with him? If he wanted to be with you he would still be with you. Why do you people keep asking the same question about how to get an ex back? They don’t want yall so get over it and stop stalking them!
Stop talking to him it’s only one way to get him back and that is to make him think you are dating other men if that doesn’t work then I’m afraid you have lost him. If he thinks you are getting serious about someone he might start coming around more but you need to play it cool with him like you don’t care what he does. It’s hard to do but it does work at least it worked for me. My husband had a girlfriend to and when he thought i was seeing someone he came around alot. We are still together it’s been 10 years when all that happened.
MOVE ON. He is not going back to you and he is not thinking about you either. Sorry to say and I know it hurts to see the person you love is in love with someone else. You and him have divorced. Please think about how this would effect your kids’ lives.
You’ve tried everything for this guy but nothing for yourself. Find yourself in his absence. There are so many things for people to enjoy however the distractions of relationships sometimes stunts are growths. Many of us fear being alone however, you can’t be lonely due to your kids. Secondly, you need to understand that the world overwhelms us when we are waiting as spectators instead of participators. As hard as it may be, you will need to find you, the loving person, caring person, mother, and soon you will be part of a world instead of worlds apart. Time is the healer but belief in yourself is the catalyst. Remember a loss leaves room for a something new.
You two were divorced. He didn’t really have an obligation to you, sounds like you let yourself be played.
You shouldn’t have gotten the kids’ hopes up. You need to forget him and move on.
There should be some kind of law ENFORCEMENT that prohibits men with families and children from walking away from their wives and their families over little or nothing and dogging down with other females. The new "no fault" divorces have made marriage into a complete farce and of little social significance. Unfortunately, nothing you can do will stop him from his course of action. He has probably been seeing the other woman for longer than you may be aware.
Your ex husband sounds like a sex addict who lacks the ability to form intimate relationships with women. If he was married and had a child before he met you and now he is leaving you with 3 more for a third female, that is beginning to look like a pattern. He wants to have the best of all worlds as long as it feels good for himself. He could be in midlife crisis and/or has never really matured from the adolescent score keeper who loves them and leaves them.
The best course of action for you is to forget trying to make him love you because if he does not love you after 8 years and 3 offspring, it just is NOT happening. Cut your losses and get some legal help with child support, custody of your children and let the next victim of his game learn the truth on her own. Sorry that happened to you. Too bad for wife #3.
Love may be short sighted but only stupidity is blind. Best wishes to you.
seems like you are wasting your time with him now sorry to say he faln in love with her now. my opion?
Your marriage was screwed before he met her. Get over it.