What is the best way to win back someone’s heart?
There is love between us, but their is also hurt and anger. We care about each other deeply but I do not know the best way to get him back. I have said enough, he knows how I feel and I have changed I am sure he can see that, I do need to work on a few more things as does he. Neither of us cheated on one another we do have a young child together. Just need some kind and appropriate, mature advice please.
We are going through a divorce it has been almost 2 months since the papers were served (by him). We have not stopped communicating and are now talking about reconciling. He is being open to it, but needs time. We spend 2 -3 days together a week having dinner doing family things but are not being physical and are staying at different homes. He has suggested spending time together again this would be the fourth day together. Just not sure what to do from here.
I would love to go to couple counseling and I have suggested going to church. I have been going with our child consistently since this happened and it has helped tremendously. He has told me he is not ready for either one yet, I know he is worried about how it will make him feel or what they will say. I am starting to believe he may have some feeling of guilt and is worried counseling or church may add to those feelings. I have asked, and have asked him to go to church last weekend and tomorrow. He has said he will think about it and may go each time, who knows maybe he will go tomorrow morning with us. But all I can do is ask and do not want to force it and make him feel cornered.
The seven answers I have received so far are wonderful, thank you. I hope someone else can read these answers and benefit from them as well.
Thanks Again.
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Tagged with: anger • couple counseling • divorce • feelings • guilt • heart • love • spending time • there is love • tomorrow morning • well thanks • Young Child
Filed under: How To Get Him Back
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the best way to win a heart, is to show change, a new attitude, as evidenced by your actions. get some christian counciling, read some self help books on marriage and pray. sounds as if he wants to make sure before he recommits and comes home. as long as no one has betrayed the other anything can be worked out by meeting the person halfway, be willing to listen to him and his views, being able to communicate and the best thing is to get some christian coun ciling from your minister or a church.
If u love him, then of course try to work on it. Love can smooth over rough edges in relationships, but u have to make sure u both know exactly what u expect of one another. The baby needs both parents, but only if the relationship will be a healthy one full of love instead of fighting.
I say go to him again. There are no rules in reconciling. Dont be stubborn. If u want to see him, go to him. If u love him, go to him. Its a very simple thing to do in this case.
Good luck.
It sounds to me like you are going about it in all of the right ways. I am proud of you both for working on this. What you have is too precious to treat it with anything less than tender care. I suggest that you make use of a counselor and/or a retreat to work on communication skills and focus on the marriage. It might help you to go to church together if you have a religious faith.
You are wise to take things one step at a time. Getting physical at this point can confuse things. That part should wait until you are both ready. The physical parts shouldn’t substitute for working on the other parts of your relationship even though it may seem like a handy shortcut.
Don’t give up.
I would say that actions speak louder than words. Loving behavior is the key. I don’t know what the problem was so it is difficult to give advise without the details. But again your actions and behavior will show him you want to work it out. Work on your issues that contributed to the problem and include him on your goals and progress to be a better person, mother, and wife. Best Wishes
well, first I would talk to him about cancelling the divorce for now….if you reconcile then there is no reason for the divorce action…
you both have things to work on and neither one of you has cheated – Hats Off to You !!
how about some counceling ??
the only real way to get him back is time….give it time and let him see the progress your making, but let him know that inorder for it to work he needs to work on things to,, and suggest counceling.
dont be in a hurry – if it takes a year,,then so what. a year is onlty a small sacrafise compared to the rest of your life
Take it slowly. There isn’t a magic answer that will get you two back together and make everything all rosy again. Marriage is gut-wrenching and difficult sometimes – that won’t change. I am guessing what you need is a good way for you two to resolve problems…keep taking things slowly. It honestly sounds like both of you want another shot at this.
i am also working on my marriage right now. it will take time. just go on, show him youve changed. if you love each other, you will do everything you can to meet halfway
Oh my goodness!!!!!! You sound like your in the same exact same situation I am in. Please tell me more. What started the hurt and anger. I have been fighting on and off for the last two years with my husband and we are almost at a divorce. We also have a eight yr. old son. Neither one of us (at least I really don’t think so) has cheated on one another. I mean I want to say if any trust I had it was the security of that he would never cheat, but now with alot of trust gone I’m getting worried. I have been talking to alot of people and everyone I’ve talked to says work it out. It is over alot of little pet tie stuff that we just both feel strongly about. One thing is our son had cancer and I kinda lost my faith. I still support my son going to Sunday School and church and I support the people their and help out since they help out alot when we needed the support during my son’s cancer, but I just don’t go to worship. My husband is upset over it. He doesn’t understand. I’m trying to maybe find my back, but like this marriage right now it is very, very, hard. So girlfriend, if ya don’t mind me saying that. Please let’s talk. We sound like we have some things in common that maybe we can help each other out.
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