Newly divorce. I don’t want my husband back but why do I still care if he has a girlfriend or not?
My husband and I had just recently divorce. I’m absolutely sure that I am not in-love with him. Although, why do I still care if he has a girlfriend or not? I actually still try to look him up to see if he’s seeing anyone or who he’s seeing. I don’t even want him back so these feelings I’m having confuses me. I also want him to be unhappy and suffer. We divorce due a very bad violent/cheating ways of his. Has anyone else experienced this?
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Tagged with: divorce • feelings • girlfriend • love
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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It’s because he’s moved on. After vowing to love each other forver and take care of each other and be faithfull, he betrayed all of that and after you split, instead of wollowing and being upset, he’s moved on. This upsets you because maybe you don’t understand why he’s done this and you’re confused about your own feelings. You’re not in love still (as you said) but you still care because you married him! You wanted to spend the rest of your life with him! He cheated and ruined everything. Don’t worry, he’s not worth it
try to forget!
Good Luck xxx
I hear he’s seeing a woman 10 years younger than you.
you are still attached to him; and that is not a good sign.
Of course he is with other women, but you should not care.
get a life and meet another man…
You still have feelings for him even though you don’t want him back. In addition, if you divorced him because of cheating, you are bothered by the fact that he is seeing someone else. If he was violent with you, dear you are SO MUCH better off without him. Also, you can’t continue to be angry with him. You must forgive and then let go. It’s part of the healing process. It may take some time, but if you can’t let go, it makes it hard for you to move on. Good luck.
Because you still l0ve him even if you don’t think you do
will im guessing that he was ur bf too, im saying that it may be a hadit that u got when i were going out and got married. just a hadit, maybe.
You divorced for valid and good reasons but that does not mean your feelings have completely gone away. You are jealous plain and simple. He has someone else and is moving on and you have not yet. He should suffer and be punished and instead he is going on with some new woman. That can hurt but you will get over it.
Stop checking up on him. Stop looking and you will not see what he is doing. You say you do not want him back and that is a good thing but a part of you might still want back the good times you may have had. Stop thinking about that and stop trying to see what he is doing and who he is doing it with. Get out of yourself and into some sort of hobby or classes or work. Pick up something new in your life do something you never tried, go out and volunteer to do something that will help others and very soon you will be on the way to a brand new life of your own and you won’t have time to care about what your ex is doing.
When you divorce you kind of always wonder why.
You’ll get over that sooner or later and the feelings of wanting him to suffer.
You probably don’t want to admit that you still love him and want him back, as he cheated on you but yes you still care about him. Only time or another partner will make you feel complete over and you won’t care if he got another one in his life or even if he is alive.
You want to know because if he has found someone then he’s over you and even though you don’t love him you want him to still love you because if he loves you and you don’t love him then he can’t be happy. But if he finds someone then he doesn’t love you just like you don’t love him. You don’t want him to get over you you want him to suffer. It’s understandable. He cheated on you he hurt you and so now you want him to hurt you want him to feel the pain you felt. Which he won’t do if he’s found someone new!
You probably still care for him. Does that mean you’re in love with him? No. Or your just nosy. Of course it could be a mixture of both. It’s pretty normal to be curious actually. No worries when you start dating and find someone new to care for you probably won’t care as much (or at all) what he does.
You’ve answered your question yourself, you care because you are still hurting and you want to make sure that he’s still hurting because it’s not fair since it’s his fault. He made you suffer so you want see him suffer.
And he should suffer, he sounds like a jerk.
Your very bitter! YOU need to get over it.
IF you don’t your going to even feel worse when he finds a wonderful new woman that is everything your not (better homemaker, earns more money at her job, is beautiful, no fat on her, perfect mother, wildcat in bed, etc…….)!
Get yourself healthy emotionally before it gets worse! ! ! !
YOU STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM LIKE IT OR NOT. YOU ARE IN DENIAL STAGE.
That’s actually pretty common. No one wants to think they’ve been replaced so easily. It will pass..
You should not worry about who he is dating or seeing. U are obviously jelous, so mind ur own business and perhaps start dating someone else. Are you jelous? I think so…..
Go out and enjoy life instead of worrying about what others are doing. Good luck
My guess is you are feeling competitive with him. You want to recover faster than him. Look at it this way. He’s probably using these new relationships to paper over his hurt. You are dealing with it in a more mature and healthy way.
Your feelings are quite normal: the son of a witch hurt you badly, and you wanna get even. Those feelings may last quite a while. However, as time passes, the hurt will lessen. You will discover that there really are good and trustworthy men out there. You will gingerly step back into the dating scene, and in time will find another with whom to share the rest of your life.
You don’t have to forgive him or forget him – but you also don’t have to let his rotten behavior ruin your life. You will be able to say "Piss on that ash whole; I’m moving on!"
All of these people saying you still have feelings for him are WRONG, but, they are sort of "right" and let me explain…..
You will go and attract another man just like him unless you FIX YOURSELF. You either came from an alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional home, where chaos was the norm. You are afraid of abandonment. You, somewhere in your subconscious latch on to unfaithful, emotionally unavailable men in order to "make right" a relationship perhaps with a parent "in your own mind"…..
I guarantee you, if you do not fix yourself, this will keep happening in your life, over and over again.
Good luck to you.
It is a natural thing, but you have to fight it and move on. You cant keep feeding this jealousy and bitterness. It will soon become an obsession. Dont let it destroy YOUR life.
Been there, done that
you can deny it all you want but you still love him. This is normal. My wife cheated and elft and has had many relationships yet still cringes and get jealous when she finds out I am seeing someone.
Its normal…and you havent fully healed yet from your horrible marraige. Dont run form what you feel…face it….grieve it and in time you will get stronger
Just because you are divorced doesn’t mean those feelings you once had (or still have) get turned off like a switch. Depending on the length of the marriage will determine how long it takes to grieve for the loss of your marriage and move on. If he was able to cheat he obviously didn’t care about you, your feelings or your marriage, so don’t be upset when he has found another girlfriend the day after the divorce is final.
Marriage creates a connection. Be it good or bad. It’s normal even for someone who was a victim of abuse.
Just resist the temptation and look foward. The past no longer holds anything for you.
it happens when been married and then got a divorce (were together a lot then all of a sudden not)
he will if his future wife cheats on him
once a cheater, almost always a cheater
YOU UNCONSCIOUSLY HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM BUT DON’T ALLOW YOURSELF TO THINK ABOUT THEM…WHICH IS GOOD BECAUSE YOU DON’T NEED A MAN WHO IS NOT ONLY VIOLENT BUT ALSO A CHEATER….
It’s pretty much natural what you are going through and feeling. It will soon pass and when you find another man it will go away completely with time of course. You have a past with the guy so it’s natural to wonder about him. Even tho you had a bad marriage it still hurts you inside and out. This will pass with time. Hang in there.
I think this is a typical response. When my first husband and I divorced, we were not in love and I had no thoughts of reconciliation what so ever. But the first time I saw him with a girlfriend, I had a sinking feeling. We had been together for nearly 20 years; it just felt strange seeing him with another woman. I quickly got over it. I admit there were times that I was a bit jealous of the girlfriends relationships with my sons, but I tried not to show it. As time went on, I was glad when the ex was in a relationship because he was easier to get along with and he stayed out of my business.
I know some people who have experienced this — i did a little after my divorce, but i realized i just wanted to see him miserable, not happy. So, i gave it up, and moved forward with my own life.
My ex is still miserable, by the way, 17 years later.
First, all of those who said you must still be in love with him, must have never been betrayed by someone who they have loved and spent years with. Like you, I feel that because of his choices, he has changed my (and my childrens) whole life. I didn’t choose to be living the life I am, he has chosen it for me. He had a head start of “getting over it” He was over it when he started cheating. Now he is living, or so it appears, a happy fun filled life dating, while I am trying to figure out my life. No, I don’t love him, I just resent that he torn my life apart and I am here being miserable. What? 27 years just gone and tarnished in a flash. And as for me wanting to move on…I will never leave my heart open for being riped form my chest again.