How can I get my man to make love to me not just have sex?
I love my man but since we have been together he has not really made love to me. Sex is wonderful when we do and he knows how to do it. I can’t make him understand I need touching and him getting me ready. He always just wants my to get him started and then has very agressive sex with me. Never gentle and loving. He is out of bed most of the time and very polite. Wondering if any men know how I can go about helping him understand my needs without upsetting him as I seem to do.
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Tagged with: Love Man • Love Sex • Man Love • Sex Love • Sex Man
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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You should tell him, but sometimes a strong woman can intimidate a man or even upset him, so be careful with the delivery of the message.
I think the best way to do it is NOT make a big deal out of it (at least not at first). Try other methods first, and if he is too slow to catch on, then tell him sensitively, yet without wager.
First, during sex, do something more romantic to set the mood. Wear sexy lingerie and massage him. Then ask him in a seductive voice to massage you too. Do you have a nice butt – does he like it? I kinda go for girls with some booty, so they know I like it and they used that against me lol grinding it on me, but in this situation, if this applies, eventually in a sexy voice, tell him to massage you down there too.
I like when a woman moans and moves a lot, and like your man, normally my sex is very assertive, but I understand that its always good to switch things up (not just cos women need romancing, but also for the sex life). In an almost out-of-breath moaning voice, tell him to touch you and do what I said above. So other words, when he does, enjoy it. I had a girl once who wud try to touch on me, but I wont really get in the mood, but shes really sensitive, and from the first time and since, whenever I touched her, I get turned on so much. I like how she arched her back a little, closed her eyes and bites her lips, and moans. And during sex, to squirm about, diggin her nails in the floor or in my back, all curled up with her limbs around me, I think thats hot too and if you did that during slow sex (act like a uhh.. "sex kitten"? lol), he’ll probably do it more often because thats awesome. I think moans n motion add to the seduction. Men like women that moan. We need that to not only stimulate us, encourage us, and compliment us. Seeing you are enjoying it, he may like it too.
Then in a sexy voice, tell him "i want you, give it to me" and once he initiates, just moan a little and say "slower papi/daddy/or whatever sexy nickname you have for him or just his real name". Trust me, when a woman says SLOWER during sex, or any command: FASTER, HARDER, DEEPER… especially in a sexy voice, we as men do NOT argue or reconsider. We do as commanded!
I like submissive women, Im usually dominant, and it works out cos most the women I date like dominant men. So usually I go for the more aggressive approach to seem more manly. Maybe if you reveal that he can "slow down", that maybe he was wrapped up in an premeditation of what you really liked? Or how sex should be. Maybe a little slow down time is good for him cos I know sex can be physically demanding so its nice to go slow like as a nice n easy break lol
If that doesn’t work, THEN try talking to him, but dont be a bitch about it. Wear something cute / sexy (but not naughty sexy) when you tell him too with your hair down and not too much makeup though. Its hard to be upset with your woman when shes looking SO DAMN FINE and also, you can feel up on him, rub your hand on his chest and through his hair. Seriously, how can a man be upset when you’re doing that? Lol.
Plus if he’s a nice guy, I’m sure he’ll be sensitive to ur needs. I dont believe ppl should say "thats the way he is". Its a relationship. Not saying people should change, but people should strive to make each other happy and no one is automatically perfect in a relationship, so stuff like this is normal and doing things together like this, talking it out and putting the energy and time, makes the relationship stronger.
EDIT: also try being on top afterwards. This way you can set the rhythm and the tempo. And I’m sure he’ll like it. Most men like a woman on top
Good luck
eh, most guys just have one stroke, sorry dear
Tell him.
It just depends on the type of guy he is. Unlike him, i’m more like you. I love warming the girl up and going about it that way. Sorry, but I doubt you can change him. Try talking to him about it though.
Tell him if he really likes and respects you he will listen to your needs to. You need to be strong and tell him straight up. Its wrong of him to get mad. Dont be scared just talk to him
well of course you need to tell him. . . try being like "hey do you want to rub me here?" but say it all sexy. Then after he does explain how you really liked it, How could he deny that
you need to tell him him you need that touching an kissing because it makes sex for you so much better for you an if he really cares about you he will be more than happy to do it for you and if he don’t i would find me some one that would
He gets upset when you tell him how you want to experience pleasure?
Girl, this means it’s all about him. He is someone who isn’t terribly interested in your pleasure.
So what are you doing, staying with him?
Refuse sex unless he does it the way you want it, and if he won’t make the effort, get rid of him.
There are plenty of men out there who are happy to take the time and make the effort to seriously pleasure their ladies. Fined one of them.
tell him that u need human love b4 sex, not just a robotic sex
It honestly depends on the girl for me. I’ve been in and out of relationships over the last few years, and have had gentle and loving sex, but i’ve also had aggressive sex. It all depended on the girl and what i can read from her. Sometimes they told me, i was not offended.
Hope it helps.
So if you try to talk with him, then he gets irritated and angry? I mean- you say "upset". What does that mean? Because his reaction to your request would say a lot about what problem he has. Is it with his own sexuality and he needs "rough" to get aroused? Or does he have a problem with a women requesting anything? Things like this would give clues as to why he cant do something as simple as give you what you need in bed. Maybe he doesnt feel love but only sex? These are a few of the possibilities- but I would also say that this is a serious enough topic that it could make or break your relationship. If he doesnt find a way to understand what it is you are saying to him, then I would suggest you talk with a psychotherapist to figure out what the problem really is.
Good luck!
I think you just have to tell him in a manner saying sex is good but it would be best if he be gentle, have more foreplay etc. whatever you want to suggest him trying. If he really knows how to do it, he could complete or perfect it with your suggestions. If he still cannot understand it, try showing him how if possible. If nothing else works, I guess he is just that and perhaps lacking in sex. A little bit selfish I suppose because he should understand that a man should first and foremost fill woman first before he can burst his own ecstacy in sex. that’s what I think.
lay down the law and stop having sex with him til he helps you out aswell.
tell him how you feel about this if he wont change get rid of him.
some men can be very selfish when it comes to sex and he wont change unless you tell him.
sex is about both of you not just him and you need to make him understand this or get rid of him.
Woah! You might have to give that some time. Some guys as a simple rule just don’t change gears. They can be speeding when young and sensual when old(er). There ARE guys who are all rounders but they tend to be more interested in the sex, boning, sh*gging, and all the other nuances of sex than they are in the woman. My guess you’ll have to have patience while you grow together sexually.
Good luck
Well communication is somethin very important in a relationship i understand men love to go as fast as they cn but tell him you love what he does to you but you want him to be gentle to make love to you ^^ tell him what you would really like for him to do to you…good luck from dominican republic
When you’re making love, tell him in a sexy voice how much you love it when he does it slow and sensual. When you let him know what is turning you on rather than what is turning you off, you’ll get your needs across without hurting his ego or making him feel like he’s done something wrong.