I’m pregnant w/my ex’s baby, is he looking to get back together (no lectures)?
We have been on and off for nearly 3 yrs. Off bc I’m "basically his first gf and he hasn’t met/dated many women." We both are entering our late 20′s. We have broken up twice over the 3 yrs. We both still have feelings for one another but I know he’s not ready for a relationship/marriage, and I am, or atleast he wasn’t. Lately he’s been talking like we’re a family & doesn’t want us to have 2 separate homes & shuffle baby back/forth. Or to see me with some other guy & vise/versa, and doesn’t want baby to have a step-dad or step-mom. How does that work if he doesn’t want us to be together? He was on my computerthe other day, and when I went to use it he left open his yahoo! answers account with all these questions he’d asked about getting back together with me. I swear I did not go looking for it, all of them were already on my screen! It took me a moment to even realize what I was looking at. Point is, he’s asked over and over again whether he should get back together with me, and even before I was pregnant. He asked about marriage, like can you know it’s the right one with out much experience. Lately he’s been wanting to do all these things with me, like family functions, holidays, trading xmas gifts with my parents, and special outtings. I told him recently I don’t want to get back together bc we want 2 different things, and are too different. Meaning I want to settle down and have romance. He said we weren’t too different and were on the same page and that family vacations together sounds really nice. I also said I wanted him to be something he’s not and that’s not fair. I want a guy who’s not affraid to settle down, and have a family etc. Point is since then, I’ve noticed him changing, and now doing those things I had said I wanted. All of a sudden he really cares what my dad thinks of him and wants his approval. I don’t get what’s going on, he’s acting really strange. Finally, he asked me if I wanted to take a road trip with him to this far away place and go cliff jumping…after baby is born. .he had the month and everything. Why would he ask that? What is going on??
Just for the record I want a family unit, and if he really did want to get back together I would.
(No lectures please)
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Tagged with: 2 different things • amp • different meaning • family functions • family vacations • feelings • gf • hasn • holidays • marriage • parents • Pregnant Baby • relationship marriage • road trip • romance • shuffle • step dad • step mom • yahoo • yahoo answers
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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The guy sat down and thought what he really wants, he decided he wants a family with a woman he loves and she carries his baby, why is it too difficult for you to accept it?
wondering if you are the one whos not ready and affraid to settle down?
I am in my late 20s with a new baby, but am married. I can speak a little to this.
It sounds like he is conflicted, but really trying to figure out the best route. Now "best" here is vague. He’s probably trying to decide what’s best for him AND what’s best for the upcoming baby. It is probably difficult for him to realize, "If I marry this woman with my child, my life is going to drastically change." And it will change. He will no longer have the freedom to do what he wants now. I think if he does approach you with marriage, you both need to have an honest and direct conversation about how life is going to be way different (but oh so rewarding) if you choose to get married. Regardless, I think maintaining a family unit is the right way to go for the little one. Good luck to you.
Goodness you could be setting yourself up for heart ache on so many different levels. I know you know that you have a baby to think about now. Maybe he blew his chance! Personally I don\’t give them out very often. There is no reason why you cannot build a family unit with someone else. There are plenty of great men out there who are looking for this as well.
.-= Kelly@Children Night Lights´s last blog ..The Emily Mini Crib Vs The DaVinci Kalani Which One Is The Best? =-.
I am in almost the same situation as you, my boyfriend broke up with me a month and 1/2 ago, 2 weeks after the break up I found out I was pregnant. We had been together for 3 years and this was actually a planned pregnancy, we had been trying for a baby for 8 months. But he does not want to get back with me and I feel he has already moved on with other girls. He is excited about the baby and said he’d be there for me, he has not really shown much of that though-he’ll go for days without contacting me or even asking how I am feeling. He has been too preoccupied with another female. I still love him and miss him and wish that we were back together since the break up was out of nowhere, I am still in shock. If I was in your position-where my ex wanted to work on things and change for the better, I would be jumping for joy. I’m not saying just take him back because of the baby but also because you still want to be with him and if you still love him. I would love it if my baby was born into a whole complete family knowing it’s parents loved eachother.