Ex-girlfriend pregnant with my child and doesn’t want anything to do with me.?
My ex-girlfriend (25) and I (24) have been through a lot. She had 2 miscarriages and a still birth and all by me (never been preg by anyone else). I haven’t been there for her as much as she needed me to be due to my lack of maturity at the time and also now that I live 2 and 1/2 hours from her. I drove up to see her every weekend and just got my schedule changed so I’m off 4 days a week to make it to her appt’s and be there for her and the baby through the pregnancy. This past Aug she said she didn’t want to be with me anymore but that she still loved me. I asked her if we could try to work it out and after lots of convincing she she said we could try but it was real bumpy.
We were still sleeping together on occasion and she ended up pregnant in Oct. Needless to say because of the history, we were both nervous. Everything was going decent at this point but she was still saying that she doesn’t need to be with me just because she’s having my baby. She is also active duty military and found out right b4 christmas that she got orders 1000 miles away from me (which she had the choice to accept or deny and I know since I was in also). But she says she hates it so much where she is that she is going to leave. When she got the news she said she wanted to talk about it as a family, but yet she was already making decisions for the family, so what was left to talk about? Then when I didn’t tell her right away that I would be willing to go she automatically flipped it on me and said I’m being selfish and not thinking about the baby. I have a decent job and there’s no telling if I would be able to get a job right away where she is going and she’s being unreasonable and uncompromising.
Because of the arguing and her stubborness, I didn’t see her on christmas (that and I had to work the next day) and I worked new year’s eve and new year’s day. I called her new year’s eve and told her I would be willing to go so we could be a family and have a fresh start and that I’ll just start looking for jobs now. I even thought about going back active duty even though I hated being in the military. Pretty much I told her that I would make whatever sacrifice I had to, to be with her and my child. She started screaming at me, "no it’s too late. You had your chance, and now me and the baby are leaving and I don’t want nothing to do with you." We spoke maybe 2 times since then and she doesn’t even want me around to go to appt’s with her. She say’s she doesn’t love me anymore and she’s not even attracted to me now, but she supposedly doesn’t hate me. And if she stays with me our child is going to see how miserable I make her and she doesn’t want negativity around the baby. We haven’t seen each other since the end of Nov and I haven’t spoke to her in a week now and even the last time I called her she answered the phone saying "what!". She doesn’t even want to give the baby my last name anymore and doesn’t care how much I won’t be able to see my child.
What is going through her head right now? Will she ever come around? I love this girl and I really want to be a father to my child. But with her being 1000 miles away, how can I be? And she knows this. I know I made mistakes in our relationship but I never even cheated on her. Just had female friends, which didn’t sit well with her. What can or what should I do? Does she really want to be a single parent like she’s saying? Why shut me out when I want to be there?
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Tagged with: active duty military • Appt • christmas • decent job • Eve • ex girlfriend • fresh start • having my baby • M 111 • making decisions • maturity • miscarriages • new year • preg • pregnancy • Pregnant • still birth • stubborness
Filed under: Ways To Get An Ex Back
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Pregnant women are allowed to move where ever they want. If you want to see the baby regularly you will need to follow her. You may still have feelings for her, but she may never return them again. That is her choice.
If don’t want to move, that’s fine. You can always just fly out to see your kid twice a year or something.
It could be pregnancy hormones making her so difficult to figure out. She doesn’t sound very mature or reasonable. What a shame the two of you weren’t more careful before bringing an innocent child into your unhealthy relationship. Sorry to be judgemental – hard not to. But for some real advice – do what you can to smooth things over with her. Don’t waste time trying to figure it out. Try to think one step ahead and do whatever considerate things you can think of for her. Bring or send her food she likes, things you know she needs, etc. If she continues to say she doesn’t want you around you can try and talk to her about what’s good for the baby. It is not good for the baby not to have a father in his/her life, regardless of how she feels about you. It is terribly selfish of her to move far away and deny the baby that, even if she has the legal right to do it. If you can’t get her to see reason, then do whatever you have to to make sure that the baby grows up knowing you love him and want to be a part of his life. If you don’t, he’ll never get over it. It won’t matter what she did to keep you away or how difficult it would have been to see him. He’ll always have in his mind that his father abandoned him. So do what you have to do to make sure the child knows you are there. You may need to take her to court to do it, but do it anyway. You do have rights in that department.
ok first of all dont listen to that first answer.she was being a *****.second of all that was a long msg and i wasnt going to read it.ppl dont like to read long msgs. but anyways.i would definatly keep trying to make it work.when ur pregnant u r moody ALL the time.dont take it personal.and being alone isn’t helping at all.so what i would do is i would pick up and leave where ur at immediatly to be with her if u love her and try to make it work.i wouldn’t worry about the job situation right now.go online and put in as many apps u can and then in the mean time work on ur relationship.and work really really hard at it.with relationships they are not picture perfect.everyone has their ups and downs so take that into consideration.and also when i want attention im mean to my fionce.lol i know it sounds stupid but he gives it to me and were fine again.maybe she just wants someone to cuddle with and talk to and be her best friend.ya know? and ur not a bad person it sounds like u love her alot so go be with her!!
Wow…this is a tough situation. I feel your pain.
First, I admire the fact that you’re willing to accept responsibility. If only more men were like you. Lots of guys simply walk away.
Second, her behavior bothers me. I don’t want to make you suspicious, but is it possible that this baby came from somebody else? You said that she hasn’t been pregnant by anyone else…as far as you know. She could have slept with another man and feels guilty about it, which could explain her actions. There is no way of knowing this until the child is born and a paternity test is done later.
I can only say this…sometimes people do and say things that make no sense. I know how hurt you are, but give her time to cool down. If it is your baby, then you have rights and responsibilities where the child is concerned.
Take care…I hope it all works out!