My wife thinks I am gay (huge misunderstanding)?
While posting on an "adult" message board for erotic film enthusiasts I brought up how turned on I used to be as a kid about the prospect of seeing naked women in playboys and films like Porky’s and how watching porn today can be a joyless almost numbing experience.
We all agreed that the most fun we ever had watching porn was during sleepovers at friends, one of our friends would bring out the tape and we’d see the hot chick on the box cover covering herself with a pillow and I’d have to stamp my feet as fast as I could on the carpet and chew on my t-shirt to keep from screaming for joy. The first time the woman would get naked we all couldnt believe it and we’d pause the movie and we’d have to cover our boners with our pillows and then go use the bathroom so we could jerk off.
Looking back on those sleepovers I don’t think I’ve ever been happier in my entire life, and it has been impossible to recapture that sense of naive joy and erotic wonder, even my first time having sex with a woman was a letdown by comparison.
We all agreed this was true and I came up with the idea of holding "sleepovers" and pretending we’re 11 years old again, and several posters who lived in my area agreed this was a great idea.
A few dozen posts later we were able to work out some ground rules. One big rule is that we all had to be at least 18 years old (most of us are 35 and older). Each member has to try to hold at least one gathering every 3 months (there are 12 of us) and we have to stay in character at ALL times so as to not break the spell. (kind of like live action role playing)
The host of the party has to provide the material, usually old playboy tapes, Penthouse Magazines, and hardcore porn (must be from 1992 or before, preferably 80’s "golden age" porn.
We all have to wear pajamas and bring chips and pop. We tend to play old nintendo games for an hour till the hosts "parents" go to bed then the host goes "look what I got guys!" then takes out the porn and we all jump around and high five and then wait with giddy expectation. During the movie we turn to each other and grin and talk about how horny we are and comment on the "action". Like if a women with huge breasts disrobes for a shower we have to pause the movie and go "whoaaaa!" "I’d like to suck on those" "Imagine if you touched her boobs with your penis!" "I heard that girls will put their mouth on your penis and lick it!" etc. There used to be a no masturbation rule but that was quickly nixed, the whole purpose of the gatherings is to feed off each others erotic energy the pent up erotic energy is too much to resist, we tend to all whip down our pajamas at the same time and masturbate , we try to keep a silly naive quality though and jokingly point at each others members and try to shout out different things when we *** "That sure beats Super Mario Bros.!" is my ejaculation catchphrase.
Since starting these gatherings I have never felt more alive and my sex life with my wife couldn’t be better, that is until one gathering where she caught an early flight home for the purpose of "surprising" me and ended up walking in on a dozen men masturbating in her living room. I will never forget the shocked look on her face and she immediately left and stayed at her sisters house.
I managed to talk to her and explain what she witnessed but she isn’t really buying my story, she keeps going on about how I am having "gay sex orgies" behind her back (we never touch each other!!!) and that I am living a lie. She has even started to indicate that she wants a divorce!
Is there any way I can get her to understand what I have been doing? I love my wife and ironically have never been more attracted to her than I am now, I realize I had been somewhat childish and now realize that I have a gorgeous voluptuous woman that my 11 year old self would have sold his Super Nintendo and Bike just to be able to touch her naked breasts and I could lose her. Please help me get her back!
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Tagged with: 11 years • 18 years • adult • boners • Carpet • erotic film • film enthusiasts • Films • first time having sex • Gay • hardcore porn • host of the party • hot chick • letdown • Message Board • misunderstanding • naked women • old nintendo games • pajamas • penthouse magazines • Pillows • playboy • playboys • porky • sleepovers • t shirt
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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Dear sir,
You are so the very, very gay. You are in fact so very gay that the gay people call you gay.
That’s just demented. Sorry. I would never return.
Your sick…really sick i can’t read all this it makes me want to barf.
If you walked in on your male neighbor and saw the same thing what would you think? I’m glad I don’t have to clean that room when all you guys are ‘finished’.
1- I feel you. I’d never take it to that level, but what you said made me remember my first days seeing a woman naked in p*rn when i was really young… and yeah ur right, even sex WAS almost a letdown by comparison! wow! i never thought of that!
2- i can understand where you’re coming from when u did this… like im straight like u are, but i can sort of understand doing this… its sort of a "bros night out" kind of thing… sort of like when guys go out together to get p*ssy, except u are doing it to watch p*rnos to recapture the good old days… i can see that
3- if you are married, you’re not gay. DUH! What is with stupid women thinking that their husband is gay? Women, DONT flatter yourselves- if i (or any guy) turned gay one day, WE WOULD NOT BOTHER MARRYING YOU! ESPECIALLY if it is a sexual relationship!
if u 2 have sex, she is RETARDED for thinking ur gay! I could NEVER have sex with a DUDE, no matter if it was a social norm or not! So how can she think ur gay, when u have sex with her (the opposite sex a gay guy is supposed to be attracted to)???!?!
yeah if the lot of u r married then invite them to see i know it goes against the grain but what else can u do to show her y r not touching each other and if u cant do that then get ready for a divorce or give up your lil boys club…
in just sound like you need to explain to her about what really happen
and why things got out of hand. but also may you need to stop the
trips for now until you get things straight put with the wife…
Any real woman would have reacted the same as your wife did.
U need to grow up ASAP
U have way too much time on your hands if this is a true story.
Try spending that energy on your wife instead.
Good luck buddy, because she might well go looking for someone else if U keep this fantasy stuff up. U can not relive your childhood. Time to move on.
She should leave you, But not because of what you are doing, but because you did not trust her enough to talk to her.
What is marriage without trust and honesty?
What are you, 10 yrs old? Sound very immature to me.
Ugh, the smartest thing to have done was confer with your closest friend about this before you started it: Your wife. I’m afraid I would do the same thing your wife is doing (seriously considering divorce, more so if we had no children together).
Hmm.. have you tried writing her a letter explaining all of this? Email, whatever you have to do to be heard? Offer marriage counseling? Anything so see will be able to hear your side before making a snap decision.
I’m sure this was a huge shock on your wife and it will take her a few days to be able to even talk to you, maybe even a little longer to be able to actually hear you. I think your best bet is starting out with you are so very sorry for not telling her of your idea before you put into action and that her catching you wasn’t even an issue for the entire thing was innocent.
I’m kind of at a loss on this on Hon,… Time to cool down, sincere apologies, explanation, marriage counseling.
Best of wishes!
Dude…you are f—d in the head. Get some therapy.
Well personally, whether it was "innocent" (which it’s not because straight or not,your doing something hurtful to your wife!)or not, you are still watching porn and fantasizing about someone other than your wife! Why don’t men ever think about how it would feel to have their wives constantly watching porn for the men? Suppose they couldn’t enjoy sex with you unless they looked at these men first. Could you honestly feel secure in having sex with you, knowing that it’s the man in the mags or vids that’s on her mind and not you, her husband? Men think it’s just the "male thing to do" and women buy into this crap and make excuses. Given what you did as a kid and your story, it seems pretty clear that you are a heterosexual man. I think it’s weird what you were doing, but I don’t doubt that you’re straight. The problem is the lack of respect for your wife. As we get older, we need to know that we are still beautiful to you, that you still love us even after the babies. There is nothing more hurtful than knowing your husband has to look at other unblemished, "perfect" women in order to get off. That somehow you aren’t "good enough."
I can see why she’s hurt and angry. If you want to save your marriage, then you better be willing to let your little "slumber parties" go or it will be her you see go!
Initially(before knowing what you were watching), if I saw 10 guys masterbating to porn in my livingroom, I’d have to question some things too.
OK, no gay person would ever be such a pervert.
If it’s real then she’s reacting as any woman of a grown man involved in a circle jerk would react. What she’s caught is exactly what you want it not to be…some type of perverted homosexual or homo-erotic behavior that is pretty sick. You may be stuck in the 80’s but what you’re describing here isn’t what men who lived through that decade as an adult did. If she can stomach you again she’s a real princess. My guess is she can’t and won’t. Good luck
Even if she accepted that you aren’t having ‘gay sex orgies’ at the house, you still have to deal with the fact that you were cheating on her. Inviting other people to share sex acts with you is cheating, whether you touch them or not.
Admit you were wrong, and ask your wife to go to marriage counseling with you. It’s going to be a lot of work to fix the mess your relationship is in. Good luck.
This is, by a wide margin, the best troll question I have EVER seen on Yahoo! Answers. I’ve been trollling this place for years, and, just wow. I tip my hat to you, good sir.
You are not alone. When my friends and I were all 13, we used to have sleepovers in the trailer in the backyard at my friend’s house. My friend’s older brother was friendly with all of us and he was the only one old enough to rent porno videos from a local video store. He helped bring a TV to the trailer every time we had a sleepover. He was dubbed by someone as the head of the jerk off committee. Our policy was BYOB (Bring Your Own Blankets). None of us were gay with each other nor touched each other. Between the excitement of having watched videos we weren’t supposed to watch, and the intense stimulation we got from our virgin minds not having developed a tolerance to pornographic videos, I am totally in complete understanding as to why you would want to attempt to recreate those feelings and events.
After the third paragraph, I said to myself, "Gee, this guy is a loser pervert. But his worst crime is that he’s a BORING loser-pervert."
I’d give this effort a D minus on a charitable day. It’s pedestrian and uninspired. Surely you can do better.
If this is fake, it’s the yahoo troll post of the year.
If it’s real, you deserve to be single.
Either way, bravo sir
wow…..just, just wow. This is one of the most hilariously screwed up stories i’ve ever heard or read. You good sir live an interesting life, keep it up.
I’d recommend asking your wife to partake; maybe role play a bachelor party?
The answers here prove that Yahoo Answers is the WORST place to go for advice.
I don’t see anything wrong with what you did. Sounds like innocent role-playing to relive an exciting moment in a young man’s life. A lot of guys had their "sexual awakening" joining a circle jerk with friends.
I don’t see it as cheating, no more than your wife using a dildo constitutes her being unfaithful.
That said, your wife doesn’t see it that way. She obviously doesn’t know the background of it. And if she doesn’t want to listen to you, you have to ask yourself if it’s worth being with a woman who’s so uptight in her sexual norms that she won’t consider other kinks.
Easy answer here. Ask your wife to be the centerfold – or the object of the video that you and your buddies are watching. That way, she can be sure to monitor all the activity and she could see for herself that you guys aren’t gay.
One thing is for sure – when she came home early as a surprise – the surprise was really on her, eh?
Geez. I’m sure she must also have some bizarre fantasies that even she won’t admit to. She should just leave you alone and the two of you get back to living life. It is a bit odd sharing it with so many people, and maybe you guys could find another place for it ( I wouldnt want to ‘clean up’ after that either . . .) but sharing and sanitation aside, she shouldn’t have too much of a problem with it, it’s your personal feelings. Anyway, if your sex life has improved together, it cant be all that bad. Try to talk to her some more, maybe she will make an effort to understand. It certainly seems innocent enough.
If your wife loves you, she should understand once you explain to her what was going on. Her reaction was based on the initial shock and societies influence. Good luck.
Call Dan Savage!
Seriously.
You’re wife isn’t coming back. :lmao:
Do you live near oklahoma, PM me when your having another party.
I’m not going to say this isnt ‘weird’ because I do find it a bit strange that you held sleepovers as a young boy because thats typically a girl-only thing, but also that you had ‘porn-overs’. I’ve heard of boys swapping/looking at Playboys, but nothing to this extreme.
It honestly sounds like you are having fun, and if it makes you happy, then go right ahead and bring those childhood memories back into your life, but I agree that you should have talked this over with your wife before hosting it at your house. I can say that I would also be freaked out if I walked into the house to find all these men getting their thing on; but honestly, I think I’d be more mad that my husband was doings things behind my back. I’d be suspicious of what else he was getting away with that I dont know about.
As for the women who say that your wife should be mad that you are looking at porn when you are married to her, they are stupid. I am a woman, and I have no problem with my man looking at porn. Heck, we tend to look at it together! If I’m busy or not feeling well, he’ll slink off and watch some porn instead of pestering me. And it doesnt bother me at all! Women need to understand that it has nothing to do with them. It has nothing to do with the women in the videos. It has to do with watching the act itself happen, thats it.
Here’s an experiment. Have your man jerk off to porn. The next day, ask him what he watched. I can guarantee you he will have NO CLUE. They dont remember what happened, they couldnt describe to you who was in it; THEY DONT CARE. It fulfills their carnal desire and then they’re done.
(sorry for sidetracking)
As for what to tell your wife, tell her exactly what you told us. Write her a letter if you arent so good with words on the fly. Tell her you love her and you are sorry that you never told her about this. And then talk to her about it, prove you arent scared to things share with her. If you have any other sexual fetishes, now would be the time to tell her!
Go to a counselor with her and talk this all through there, because I’m sure that she feels hurt and having a mediator will help you two sort things out properly. You can try to do so at home first, but I’m sure she’ll start yelling and you wont be able to explain properly with her blaming you for a million things. Going to a counselor should keep things more calm and help you both explain your feelings properly.
Good luck to you, I hope everything works out.
Wow! that’s a really funny story. "Gay sex orgies" don’t normally involve female porn so you can try and use that to convince her that you’re not gay. Tell her it’s a mid life crisis thing. She’ll probably want to go to a counselor. Number one recommendation is to ignore the moronic posts below. This is not quite the forum to actually hope to get good advice. Good luck!
I hope this reply isn’t necessary, that the question is an amusing hoax, but if not I hope this can help
I remember the type of nights you mean as a teenager; although they were exciting then my focus has moved on, to tastes and practices more conventional for an adult. The fact that you and your friends seem to have got "stuck" at this phase suggests that something might have happened to interfere with normal sexual development psychologically, leaving you stuck at this stage. As such counselling might be necessary, and might also help your wife understand why you have this desire, and also help her come to terms with walking in to suprise you, to find you and 11 other men vigorously masturbating, which can’t have been a pleasant experience.
Like you, I don’t think you’re gay- after all, it’s straight porn you watch, but I do think there’s been a problem with normal development. If a friend were to suggest that now I’d be horrified, and would probably suggest therapy as with yourself.
I hope this helps.
You’re masturbating with other guys, and you want your wife to understand? You’re gay, just come out of the closet.
You really wrote this so you could spank it too the answers didn’t you?