how do i get my wife to fall in love with me again?
we have been married for 11 yrs and the signs were there. I never grew up, never paid as much attention to my wife as i should have. I always loved her. More than anyone could know. Just now that i think i let her slip too far away…..and shes found someone who will listen and care for her. I want to stop it before anything happens and i have confronted her about. She says it will stop, but i know its not that easy. It breaks my heart thinking about the whole situation. This is new news to me, i ha vent eaten in 3 days, im missing work, im a total wreck. I love her more than anything in the world,,,do you think its too late for me? i know i should have been the best husband all along, not only when something like this happens. I really need some answers and someone to talk to, im all alone here..
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Tagged with: Fall In Love • heart • signs • vent
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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Man up Cowboy!
You’re not alone, you have her.
buy her sweet things like flowers*
It might not be. Remember what it was like when you were first courting and start over from there. Romance her and show her that you are serious. Don’t slip back into the behavior that got you here in the first place.
Sorry but do try again if she’s willing. Cant blame her though you have taken just a little to long to be what shes needed after all these years.Love her and hope it all works out for both of you. Get away together. Do a honeymoon over again.
Yes, you should have been there for her all along and showed strength, kindness, affection, maturity, responsibility and all that, Does that give her license to cheat? NO WAY! Start by having a very initimate conversation with her that is ABOUT HER not you. Ask her what things make her happy and what will make her feel special, loved and secure. Do not focus on this new jerk in her life who clearly does not get that she is married and off limits.
Best advice, Please talk to her, ask her what you can do, or what she is missing in her life..
You need to inject some romance back into your marriage. Try to recreate some of the things you guys did together back when you were falling in love with each other. When’s the last time you guys went out on a fun date? You mention that she has found someone "who will listen" to her. Are you always there for her to listen when she needs to talk? Make it unmistakably clear that you are there for her, really listen to her and get where she is coming from. Tell her how much you love her, and be specific. Praise her unique, special qualities that only you know about. Reminisce about some of the great, fun times you guys have had together. Try to reinforce the bond you have with her, and tell her that you want to do anything and everything you can to make your bond deeper. Do not mention this other guy. Just focus on expressing how much she means to you.
Good luck.
This is sad. It took her finding someone else for you to realize how much you love her. Get her to meet you somewhere and talk. Tell her that you don’t want to throw away 11 years. Also, tell her everything you said above. You have got to convince her that you still love her and miss her. I hope this helps.
I’m sorry for your pain but this is a huge lesson for you. There are consequences when you treat people poorly and unfortunately, you’re having to live with them.
WOW THE BEST THING TO DO IS STAY STRONG AND FIGHT FOR HER LOVE!! KISS HER ASZ!! LOL YOU REALLY NEED TO START GOING TO WORK AND BECAUSE IF YOU WANT HER LOVE BACK SHE’S NOT GOING TO LIKE THE FACT THAT YOU ARE LOSING YOUR JOB ESPECIALLY THE WAY THE ECONOMY IS GOING! JUST PAY MORE ATTENTION TO HER! BUY HER FLOWERS BEFORE YOU COME HOME TO WORK AND TRY KISSING HER AND PLEASURING HER MAKE HER REMEMBER WHY SHE MARRIED YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!! TRY PUTTING IN MORE EFFORT TO HER! LIKE HELP HER OUT TRY MAKING DINNER, TRY DOING THINGS SHE WOULDN’T EXPECT YOU TO DO. I KNOW IT’S ALOT BUT DUDE AM NOT GONA LIE BUT YOU REALLY FUKD UP AND IF YOU REALLY WANT HER THEN YOU GOT TO FIGHT FOR HER NOT PHYSICALLY BUT MENTALLY!! SO I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK!! STAY STRONG!
Okay…i think the BIGGEST mistake that people make when they get into a serious relationship or go on to the next level i.e. engagement, marriage and having a family. Is they forget that they have to work out a relationship. They forget that once you are with someone it is CONSISTENT DATING.
Now what you need to do is to pursue things you can both do together. It ranges from many things you can do indoors to outdoors. To resparke your marriage have you thought of:
Indoor activities:
- Playing scrabble, monoply, playstation, xbox games together.
- Having an indoor picnic or special meal
- Renting a movie and creating a cinema feel
- Giving her a massage
Outdoors activities:
- Going cinema, ice-skating, bowling
- On a car venture to any location, sight-seeing new things
- Playing a sport in the evening…a game of basketball
- Going for a meal
- Going shopping
- Going to health and beauty spa
There are so many things you can do…whether it be random or not you can do. It is about taping into interests you can do together. Doing things she likes and also doing things together. I am sure you will eventually managing to revitalise things with your wife.
I wish you the best.
Im sorry. Its probably too late. I know for me it would be (or it is).
I don’t think it’s too late.
It’s true that you should have been the best husband all along, it’s sad that it took you 11 years to realize that.
Ask her out on dates. Surprise her. Buy her flowers. Go on a trip – just the two of you. Tell her her pretty she looks everyday. Tell her that you love her.
I think she’ll fall in love again if you just show her the you that she fell in love 11 years ago when you got married. If you don’t remember, ask her.
Don’t be alone there. Call her. Prepare something romantic for this evening. Or prepare a romantic weekend. Go be with her, not alone here.
Good luck man.
Watch the movie Fireproof and get the book The Love Dare and start to do the Love Dare on your wife. Read every word for each day and do every dare, no skipping the hard ones. It takes hard work and dedication to do all of them completely but the results are so worth it. This book has changed a lot of people’s marriages that I know. It and the movie are being featured at churches all across the country. It is an amazing movie and book and well worth your time if you are totally committed to saving your marriage.
First go rent the movie Fire Proof. Fits your situation exactly. You have to show her that you love her, not by buying her flowers or buying her chocolate. Do something sweet and kind for her, make her breakfast in bed, have a hot bath ran for her when she gets home from work, then when she gets out have a lovely dinner cooked. Clean up around the house for her, do the laundry, and the dishes. Show her that you care, not just telling her. Good luck and God bless you
im sorry to say but it might be because once she see’s that you want her back she might not think you will stay that way.. I say before you go to bed and she’s laying their tuck an apology letter w. some flowers or something that she loved near by her side of the bead and make sure you show her affection……Its not to late to go out and buy something….go to the closest store tell her your getting her someting(it doesnt matter if she no’s) make sure you listen to what she has to say or do something tomorrow bring her back to your first date………..I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK I WOULD REALLY HATE FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO END……..
Bring back the romance in your relationship buy her some laungire something make her feel sexy loved wanted needed, …..You alone telling us on here you dont want your relationship to fall apart you really love her……………Please try the idea of trying to bring back the first time you met make it even more romantic and later hit the bed (lol) if you have kids bring them to a friend for the night or you and your wife take a vacation on spring break……………..GOOD LUCK!!
Why did you let it come to this? A lot of men are guilty of this same thing. You took your woman for granted and expect that it will all be okay. No it will not.
I suggest you start to date her again. Make her be the center of your world. Never forget what made you fall in love in the first place.
OK. Deep breath and go get something to eat. Your brain isn’t going to work right if you don’t eat and you need your brain working to solve your problem. Right?
Now, what you’re doing at this very moment is just more of what got you into this mess in the first place. Simply put, you’re being a helpless whining little boy and not a man. I’m not being critical, I’ve made the same mistake myself and I didn’t start getting things straightened around until I stopped feeling sorry for myself and acting all helpless. Think about it, you want to attract her, or if not then some woman right? Why would a woman be attracted to a man who can’t handle things? Who can’t stand on his own 2 feet? I haven’t eaten I can’t handle it will get you at most sympathy. You don’t want that, you want a woman to want you. Right?
So dust yourself off, stop crying, eat something and then sit down and make a list of things about you that you need to change in order to be attractive. Maybe you can get her back, maybe not, but set it in your mind that you are not going to wuss out on life, you are going to become a worthwhile desirable person and you will live your life to the fullest and die at an old age "with your boots on". (In other words still fighting). If she has truly moved on then you have to move on too, but you must decide now that you will and will move on and you will not make the same mistakes again that you’ve made in the past.
Get your head together and stand up and start acting like a man. Start on a program of self improvment and everytime you fail or fall short just recognize that that’s going to happen and pick yourself up again the next day and get back in the game.
Some typical places to start-
The gym – get in shape. It will make it easier to have confidence and confidence is the #1 thing that attracts women.
Start working on correcting any bad behaviours that you have. Be it drinking or smoking or being late or dressing like a slob or whatever.
A good way to change these things is to make a "list of enemies" and put whatever you want to get rid of on it. If you’re out of shape and that’s a problem, make being out of shape your enemy. See it as something that weakens you and takes your health, your life and your woman from you. See the tactic? You have to hate those things about you that you can change and that keep you from having the things you want. And those things about you that keep you from having the life you want are your enemies. Those habits and attitudes are destroying your life. Learn to hate them.
A few more things in my long winded speil.
Women are attrracted to men. Men can be kind and loving, but they are strong, protective, providers. They are calm and clear headed, except when they’re being funny to charm or entertain. So rule #1, NEVER SHOW WEAKNESS TO A WOMAN. She may give you sympathy but she will despise you for it down deep.
Women are attracted to alpha males in particular. An alpha is anyone who is top dog in some way. It can be anything from being the biggest strongest most macho with a motorcycle to president of the chess club depending on the woman, but if others look up to you so will she.
So strange as it sounds, being the boss at work is important for more than just the paycheck. So find something, even a volenteer organazition where you can be in charge of something. Clean and organize your house so that it’s clear you’re in control of your teritory, and if you have any trophy’s or pictures of adventures or anything like that then put them out on display. Advertise all the good about yourself, but with images and things not bragging with words.
And lastly, some suggested reading;
The art of seduction
The 48 laws of power
The 33 stratigies of war
All by Robert Greene. They are all about human interaction and how to end getting what you want without getting the shaft. They’re very intelectual books, not like some of this pick up artist crap.
Good luck man. I hope some of this helps. Get on your feet and take some action. First fix things and yourself and then see if you can win her back. If not, then there will be plenty of others drawn to the new you.
When I read your question I was amazed at the obvious depth of our feelings for your wife. I was even more amazed that you could site precisely what you did to cause the drift, and that you actually admitted to causing the drift. Admittance is more than most men will do, this shows a great level of maturity (even if it is because you fear losing your wife). Your on the road to doing as much as you can to win her back.
Since you can identify what your problems are, make sure that you communicate that to your wife. Let her know that you are willing to change for her. Most importantly you HAVE to ask her what it is that she would need for you to do, in order to assure her that you’re serious about the vows you took. Somethig along the lines of "I’ll do anything to get back the love you once had for me, that I foolishly squandered. I’d give anything to hae you look at me the way that you used to." Every woman knows exactly what she wants in a relationship, and if you give her a chance to tell you…I’m betting she won’t pass up on the opportunity. The most important step comes next.
When your wife opens up her heart, lets down her guard and lets you know exactly what it is she wants….you have to actually do it. You can’t just listen and make a series of empy promises. In order to show sincerity, you have to become the opposite of the heartless, selfish jerk (sorry) that you were before. She’s going to expect the exact opposite out of you and it will be a refreshing surprise when you don’t. No matter how long it takes, do not get discouraged and think that she’s having you jump through hoops as revenge. A woman that takes the time to communicate with you, usually still has feelings invested in you.
Also try to take care of yourself during this emotional time. Even she finds that she can’t trust you with her heart again, you have to find a way to move on. Though chances of that are slim, since a woman who invests a great amount of time in a man finds it hard to stop loving him…no matter the circumstances.
Good luck.
Don’t screw it up.
You really need to take her away. Take her to a romantic get away and just romance her. Every day when you come home bring her flower. Write her letters, do everything romantic that you can think of. But honestly you really need to take her on a romantic vacation where the two of you can be alone together.
Give her a cute “coupon” for 100 free rim jobs. Or get a penile extension surgery