you can not include the words in brackets (…) those are added by people and not part of the translation as a matter of fact those words are not even from the Original translations.

I understand it to mean that as a husband you try and save the marriage as best you can. Using strong persuasion but i do not see it as physical force.

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A lot has been talked about ISLAM permitting to hit women on this forum, well here is an answer to that.

Allah says: "And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect." (Ar-Rum: 21)

However, the controversial verse in QURAAN which allegedly permits hitting of wives is:

Almighty Allah says: "Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more strength than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in the husband’s absence what Allah would have them to guard. As to those women on whose part you fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance); for Allah is most High and Great (above you all). If you fear a breach between them twain, appoint (two) arbiters, one from his family and the other from hers. If they wish for peace, Allah will cause their reconciliation; for Allah has full knowledge and is acquainted with all things." (An-Nisa’: 34-35)

It is important to note that even this "light strike" mentioned in the verse is not to be used to correct some minor problem, but it is permissible to resort to only in a situation of some serious moral misconduct when admonishing the wife fails, and avoiding from sleeping with her would not help. If this disciplinary action can correct a situation and save the marriage, then one should use it.

It is interesting that this fourteen -centuries-old qualifier of "light strike" is the criterion used in contemporary American law to separate a light and harmless tap or strike from "abuse" in the legal sense. This makes it clear that even this extreme, last resort, and "lesser of the two evils" measure that may save a marriage does not meet the definitions of "physical abuse," "family violence, " or "wife battering" in the 20th century law in liberal democracies, where such extremes are so commonplace that they are seen as national concerns.

When the COMPANIONS(R.A) of PROPHET MUHAMMAD(P.B.U.H) asked to explain them about the limit they should excercise, HE(P.B.U.H) used the words "dharban ghayra mubarrih" HE(P.B.U.H) is known to have explained at various places in HADEES as:-
1.NO HITIING ON THE FACE AS THIS IS NOT JUST A VERY DELICATE PART BUT ALSO A VITAL MEDIUM OF IDENTITY OF A PERSON.
2.NO BREAKING OF BONES AND NO CAUSE OF PAIN SHOULD RESULT FROM HITTING
3.NO SCARS SHOULD BE THERE ON THE BODY.
4.FINALY, THE EXPLANATION WAS SUMMED UP AS YOU CAN HIT ALMOST LIKE YOU HIT SOMEONE WITH COTTONWOOL.
Infact, PROPHET MUHAMMAD(P.B.U.H) is known to have commented in his HADEES "How does anyone of you beat his wife as he beats the stallion camel and then embrace (sleep with) her?” (Al-Bukhari, English Translation, vol. 8, Hadith 68, pp. 42-43)

Islamic teachings are universal in nature. They respond to the needs and circumstances of diverse times, cultures and circumstances. Some measures may work in some cases and cultures or with certain persons but may not be effective in others. By definition, a "permissible" act is neither required, encouraged or forbidden. In fact it may be to spell out the extent of permissibility, such as in the issue at hand, rather than leaving it unrestricted or unqualified, or ignoring it all together. In the absence of strict qualifiers, persons may interpret the matter in their own way, which can lead to excesses and real abuse. Any excess, cruelty, family violence, or abuse committed by any "Muslim" can never be traced, honestly, to any revelatory text (Qur’an or Hadith). Such excesses and violations are to be blamed on the person(s) himself, as it shows that they are paying lip service to Islamic teachings and injunctions and failing to follow the true Sunnah of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him)."

Remember to look at Islam as a whole and not to focus on just one verse or hadith without seeing others related to the subject. Also, don’t judge Islam by what you see Muslims do, but by what the Qur’an and sunnah say they should do. May Allah guide you and us all to the truth!
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I like the explanation that site gives. Salam

One should take religion with a grain of salt, and some context. It’s not a substitute for common sense, and certain universal human norms. Like Islam doesn’t really permit the killing of innocent civilians even though extremists interpret it so.

Bottom line, a good Muslim doesn’t beat his wife.